Things I think I think ...

Travelling can be Uber exciting, that much is obvious, but if the timeline is extended it can bring around periods when you find yourself feeling just a tad bit bored. One of those recently resulted in some thoughts about events leaving me with a furrowed brow and a look of bewilderment on my face.

American Politics:

My mother is blessed (???) with a significant cable package in her condo complex allowing for what I consider a ridiculous amount of choice, but being a curious sort who is at the stage of life where information gathering is a full time pursuit, she tends toward news-style programming including CNN and local networks. If I wasn't aware prior, although likely just forgot, there's a tremendous amount of dissatisfaction, disagreement, and discontent on both sides of the dividing line surrounding presidential policy, governance and bipartisanship. Most Canadians are aware of the strife between President Biden and former President Trump, the conspiracy-fuelled discourse surrounding the last election, and the complete mess that Capitol Hill is in right now, but until I was immersed in the American media's incredibly varied coverage of pertinent issues, I had no idea of how far apart the sides are, nor the degree of venomous debate being hurled across the floor. Three mature adults sharing the same space results in a plethora of discussion centered on opinions about the discourse and possible solutions to make things better, but one issue that keeps popping up is the bewilderment with the shambles that the Senate, House of Representatives and White House are in with elected officials drawing a well-padded salary, actively being uncooperative, regardless of what is set in front of them. At what point do the American people hold their representatives accountable for choosing not to carry out their duties? Depending on which network you watch, President Biden is being roasted for what are viewed as tremendous failures, and professing my relative ignorance of the details, I profoundly empathize with his plight when fellow representatives have decided they will "take their ball and go home" in what I personally see as a significant degree of immaturity. I am not a big fan of Trump, and for the life of me cannot see how the Republicans chose him to represent their interests, especially watching the coverage of the anniversary of Jan 6th 2021 as it becomes more and more apparent that not only did he do next to nothing to manage the situation, but very likely had a hand in its inception. Rides around the local area have unveiled a sizeable number of Trump 2024 flags and signs. 

What? Wait a minute! Really?
I cannot see any plausible explanation that would justify any support of this narcissistic train wreck. 

Florida Weather:

While enjoying the great benefits of life in southwest Florida, we received our first day of rain after fifteen "crappy days in paradise" as a significant line of active weather pushed across the state on Jan 16th prompting repeated thunderstorm and tornado warnings all morning on our cellphones, landlines, TV, and internet, accompanied by the beach and golf course warning horns startling the unaccustomed with their staccotic bleats. In the end, our tiny part of paradise was sparred from anything destructive, but the coverage of counties surrounding us was filled with the devastation of it's effects with 6 US weather service confirmed touchdowns, one that was only miles inland from where we are. Living in Ontario, our experience with tornadic thunderstorms is limited ... unfortunately, those in Barrie are all too familiar with tornado damage... but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little unsettling. As opened with, the bulk of the days in southwest Florida are filled to the brim with cloudless skies, bright sunshine, glorious temperatures, and heavenly onshore breezes, but life is full of give 'n take, and we'll happily endure these sporadic events. 

One amusing note, the warnings always included advice about finding somewhere to weather the impending tornado free from windows and surrounded by concrete walls, and with so many buildings down here being made of concrete block (which are also hurricane resistant) the best place in my mom's condo is a small bathroom in the center of the unit. Although you cannot appreciate the size of this bathroom, it caused us a fit of giggles as we envisioned the three of wedging ourselves into this space. 

Weather back home:

In an earlier post I wrote about our good fortune on the trip down in late December, arriving in Naples just ahead of a significant winter event that stormed across the lower states leaving treacherous travelling conditions in its wake thanks largely to the fact these states have little infrastructure for dealing with ice and snow. Some may have seen coverage of the bedlam on I95 where hundreds were stranded for over 12 hours as state officials struggled with the conditions, and we collectively reached back across our right shoulder with a congratulatory pat for our planning. As with any storm, the effects were dealt with and the obstacles cleared, leaving life to return to some semblance of normal, but Mother Nature wasn't finished as she sent another winter storm charging up the east coast, this time its offering was a thick coating of ice thanks to hours of freezing rain. Case in point, my university football buddy who lives just north of Atlanta, Georgia, replied to my query about his part of the world that he awoke to a blanket of snow that had an icy crust creating havoc causing some limited power outages. Back home in Ontario, our kids reported windchills of -30C or more as blizzard-like conditions loomed, threatening the reopening of schools after a Covid-imposed shutdown following the holidays. As luck would have it, that very storm slammed the province with a once-in-a-decade blizzard that prompted school closures, delaying the return to face to face learning, grinding travel and commutes to a halt. 

In supreme ridiculousness, video surfaced of folks actually hand-shovelling car paths on the 401!

Covid Continues:

We knew when we made the decision to point the car south and help my mom return to Naples, that Covid conditions in Florida were certainly worthy of caution, partly due to the head-in-the-sand actions of governor De Santos, but also to the shoulder-shrugging ambivalence of a significant portion of the American people. As we go about our daily tasks that require leaving the safe confines of our condo unit, we estimate that 30-40% of the crowds we encounter are following any semblance of Covid protocols like distancing and mask-wearing.  Without any way of actually knowing, we surmise the obvious mask-wearing minority have come to Florida from affected areas like the US northeast and Canada. It is also worthy to note that the Atlantic side of the state is a much worse scenario than our gulf side. The local news reports include the same doom and gloom of the Omicron swath of infection and its effect on the health infrastructure, but there's a palpable feeling of "Meh, whatever" by a significant number. I would never have thought it possible but I actually miss the security of vaccination checks, imposed safety measures and conscious attention to the infection rates of back home. 

While on the subject of Covid and related issues, can I bend your ear for a second with some thoughts about Novak Djokovic and his escapades down under? How appropriate is his nickname of "Djoker" after proving yet again that his level of entitlement is nigh unto limitless, justifying his massaging of the truth to allow his fans to see a defence of his 2020 title. Who knows what the truth actually is ... Is he vaccinated? Did he actually endure a Covid infection? Who actually filled out his visa application? In the end, it really doesn't matter since the feds have ordered his deportation. He is most assuredly a Djoke!

Inquiring minds like mine are curious if he'll actually serve the 3 year ban that comes with the deportation. I would be one of the most surprised if he does because you know that an appeal is on the works as I write this.

Either way, we'll continue to wear our masks, avoid crowds whenever possible, and do our part to manage our exposure to Omicron.

That's what I think I think, at least.

A boiled egg is hard to beat!

In another cyberspace discovery journey, I stumbled upon some trivial knowledge that does little or nothing to alter or enhance your life, but I copied it into a note and only recently re-discovered it. I find this information oddly satisfying as it surrounds the infamous Winston Churchill, former Prime Minister of Britain, and his love of paraprosdokians, a peculiar oddity that Wikipedia defines as a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists like as Groucho Marx.

Again, according to Wikipedia, the etymology of the very strange sounding word stems from the Greek Greek "παρά", meaning "against" and "προσδοκία", meaning "beyond expectation", and can be referred to as "Garden path sentences" where a grammatically correct sentence is worded with the intention to lead the reader to an incorrect interpretation, or "led down the garden path".

Here are some examples that caused the corners of my mouth to turn skyward:
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one. 

Paraprosdokians have been used for years by comedians and authors:

I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge - Robin Williams
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time - George Carlin
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them - Rodney Dangerfield
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it - Groucho Marx
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day - AA Milne in "Winnie the Pooh"

It will likely come as no surprise to those who have read multiple posts on my Blog, but I am in great awe of those who can write intriguing, thought-provoking strings of thoughts, and paraprosdokians definitely fall into a category that I find amusing. 

Hey, once a teacher, always amazed by useless knowledge. 

Thanks Dr Jones!

I like to think of myself as a quasi Sherlock Holmes! 

In yet another deep dive into the amazing treasures that exist out there in the Interwebs (as my daughter calls it), I discovered the writings of Rada Jones, MD, and in particular, some thoughts born in her experiences in the ER. My curiosity piqued, I read a number of the good Dr's musings and came away quite pleased with what she has shared with those who might be interested. 

Prepare to be amused ... I certainly was! 

Thanks Doc!

49 WAYS TO STAY OUT OF THE EMERGENCY ROOM
By RadaJonesMD | Writing for the medically curious with a sense   https://www.radajonesmd.com
 
I was an ER doc for 30 years. I cared for patients. All patients: those who needed to be in the ER; those who didn’t; those who wouldn’t have been there if they knew better. For them, for you and for fun, these are some tips to keep you happy, safe and away from the ER.  

1. Never, ever say “Hold my beer and watch this!” Besides “I do!”, they are the most dangerous words ever spoken. They’re a harbinger of disaster, worse than “Winter is coming.” They have their own section on YouTube – a great watch after a rough day. Better than kittens. Hold on to your beer.
 
2. NEVER drink and drive. It’s obvious, but it’s obviously not obvious enough. As per the CDC, in 2018, 11,000 people died in the US in alcohol-impaired automobile crashes, accounting for 30% of all traffic-related deaths.

3. Same with drugs. Any drugs. Legal, illegal, yours, or borrowed. Except for Tylenol. And Motrin. They’re OK.

4. Don’t tell your significant other that your life is no longer worth living, just to upset them. If they call 911, EMS will bring you to the ER. They’ll keep you until you’re legally sober if it takes a week.  By the time you’re sober, got your evaluation and go home, your significant other has had a chance to enjoy life without you. Speak wisely.

5. Shovelling the roof is overrated. Especially in winter. It comes with fractured heels, fractured backs, and ER trips. The roof is for the birds.  And cats. You’re human. Stay on the ground.

6. Your motorcycle? The one you love? I love them too, but I sold mine. Murdercycles...ridden by organ donors. My first MCA patient came by ambulance. His leg followed in another car. I’ll get a motorcycle again when I get terminal cancer. 

7. Do not, I repeat, do not, stick your hand in your snowblower to clean it. You may never be able to play the guitar or tie your shoelaces again. It may put a damper on your loving.  Yourself or others

8. If you’ve been coughing for a week and you smoke, go buy honey. Don’t come to the ER unless you have a fever, you’re short of breath or you have chest pain. You’ll cough for at least three weeks. There’s nothing I can do to stop that unless I kill you. That will stop your cough, but it’s illegal.

9. Your twelve-years-of-God-awful-back-pain? Unless something’s really different today, the ER is not the place for it. Especially now, that Oxycontin has become a 4-letter word. If you come to the ER, you’ll wait, and wait - bring a Russian novel. You’ll get a lot of rotten looks and a script for Ibuprofen — 800 mg every 6 hrs — or Acetaminophen — 1000 mg every 6 hrs. That’s Motrin and Tylenol. Go get them over the counter.

10. If you have an appointment with your doctor, don’t cancel it to come to the ER instead because you’re too sick to see your doctor. Unless your doctor is Dr. Seuss, Dr. Pepper or a plastic surgeon, caring for sick people is what your doctor does. Keep your appointments.

11. Don’t separate fighting dogs with your bare hands. Dogs can handle dog bites better than you can. They come from wolves. We come from monkeys. We’re out of their league. Stay out of it or use a prop.

12. Don’t throw gasoline on an open flame unless you’re looking for a Brazilian wax.

13. NEVER EVER stand around minding your own business. It’s the most dangerous thing known to man. 90% of ER assault victims were doing just that.

14. Church is dangerous. That’s where syncopal patients come from. They go to church; they faint; they fall; they break a hip. Bars are safer.

15. Forget Dr. Google. He’ll drive you insane worrying about improbable things that you can’t pronounce, let alone understand, and he won’t even give you a work note.

16. If you’ve already seen a specialist for your problem, coming to the ER for a second opinion won’t help. I specialize in first opinions.

17. Unless you’re actively trying to reproduce, use condoms. They are cheaper than medications, alimony, and college. The strawberry ones smell better than diapers.

18. Get a flu shot. Beats getting the flu. It won’t give you the flu. If you got the flu last time you got a flu shot, it’s because they happen in the same season. The flu season.

19. If you walk with a walker, avoid ladders.

20. Turn off your oxygen tank before lighting up. Even better, stop smoking.

21. Don’t eat spicy food if you have diarrhea. You’ll get sensations like never before. Besides rectal Lidocaine – which you won’t like – there’s little the ER can do for you. You’re gonna feel like a reverse fire-spitting dragon. As for diarrhea: one runny episode doesn’t count. Diarrhea is when you run out of toilet paper. 

22. Vaccinate your children.The connection with autism is fake. The hack who made it up lost his license. Even if it was true - and it’s not - I’d rather have an autistic child than a dead one. If you trust Jenny McCarthy more than you trust your pediatrician, you should take your kids to her when they’re sick.

23. Use protection. Use the guard of your saw. Use safety glasses when you’re welding. That’s not wimpy – that’s smart. Unlike lobsters, you don’t regrow limbs. Unlike spiders, you only have two eyes. Use them wisely. 

24. Don’t hold your chainsaw between your legs to start it. 

25. Same with pouring hot coffee. Set the cup down. It feels better.

26. Don’t put on mascara while you’re driving. 

27. We’re ER folks. We do emergencies. Our tests look for emergencies. If you come to the ER for anything but an emergency, you’re in the wrong place. Seeing an ER doc for a non-emergent problem is like seeing a cardiologist for your diarrhea.

28. Don’t leave your meds around for your toddler to sample. Check grandma’s house too.

29. Fibromyalgia is seldom lethal for patients, even though it kills me. 

30. Get a doctor. Your own. He’s better than me at managing your blood pressure, your diabetes, your ED. Cheaper too. It will save you time – it’s gonna be a long wait if you’re here for a Viagra script. Plus, I have no free samples. 

31. Help others. Volunteer within your community. Focus less on yourself and more on others. It will make you happier and healthier.

32. Get rid of your trampoline. Unless you don’t like your kids that much.

33. Don’t hurt my feelings by telling me that you really, really hate doctors.

34. Overweight is bad. Bad for your back, bad for your knees, bad for your diabetes. We eat too much and we move too little. Next time you’re thinking Fudge Sundae, try an apple and a walk instead. I know, walking is for the dogs. Get one. People with pets are healthier, happier and have more fun. 

35. If you’re calling the ER to ask how busy we are, you don’t need to come. 

36. Get a dentist. Teeth are a great investment. They brighten your smile. They make you look younger. They’re prettier than tattoos. They chew your steak.

37. Stop smoking! You'll live longer. You’ll save money. Your doctor will stop harassing you. You’ll set a good example for your kids. Your car will smell better. So will you.

38. Don’t lock your children in the car. Ever. Not in summer, not in winter, not on Wednesdays. Find childcare or take them with you. Same with pets.

39. Don’t fry bacon naked.

40. Don’t ride your bike while you’re walking your dog.

41. Don’t keep shampoo bottles on the floor. They tend to get lodged in people’s rectums. You’d be surprised how many grown men ‘fall’ onto shampoo bottles.

42. Don’t keep bleach in soda bottles. If you do, don’t leave them sitting around for your kids to drink them.

43. Invest in a cock-ring with a release, and a butt plug with a wide flange. It’s easier and less hassle than a trip to the ER. Less embarrassing too. 

44. If you can’t control your anger, punch a pillow. Walls, doors, and windows tend to fight back.

45. Never wear flip-flops to run, walk your dog or climb a ladder.

46. Power tools, tree stands, and ladders don’t mix with alcohol.

47. Same with anything fire related: fireworks, fire pit, bonfire.

48. Take your meds as prescribed. Your seizure meds, your blood pressure meds, your other meds. Except for other people’s meds. Don’t take other people’s meds. Not even if they’re the same colour.

49. Make good choices. Not funny, I know.

A head scratcher!

It was a head scratching day recently and that captivated my waking thoughts like a max security prison. I'll admit that the reasons are particular to me, in general, and that many, many others have "bigger fish to fry", but that doesn't lessen the impact they have had on my mind. Both issues were directly birthed from choosing to vacation in southern Florida at my mother's condo in Naples.

Issue #1
If you're going to travel far from home, it goes without saying that you're going to be faced with concerns surrounding how you will choose to access the funds you so carefully squirrelled away to afford the trip. After seeking advice from a variety of sources, we opted for opening a simple chequing account in an American bank that has a relationship with our bank back in Canada. Setting up the account proved to be  small challenge, not because we were in a different country, but because the young lady assisting us was Spanish-first language and made a simple mistake when spelling my name, and that led to a number of multi-minute "muzak" sessions as we sought conversations with head office to fix the issue. You'd think that it wouldn't be all that bad, and logically you'd be justified in that thinking, but not so much in this case because that one single substitution led to a profound delay in both accessing and manipulating our funds. 

Besides the extended time it took to open the account, thanks largely to the duplication of all the steps to correct the aforementioned spelling error, a few issues that arose as we tried to use our new account, each adding annoying little pangs to frustration. 

One was 95% my fault. After filling out the forms, setting up the account, making the debit card, and consequently redoing all of these steps thanks to the error, I neglected to take the debit card with me when I finally left, requiring a return trip the next day. Sure, the young lady could have noticed that the corrected card was still sitting in the card maker, but neither of us did. Oh well. Ultimately, with both of us being negligent, it also meant that the first time using the card was an event since we also neglected to set up the PIN. Fortunately, the iPhone app for that bank made it easy to do this online ... easy, peasy, lemon squeezey. 

The second was the lowest levels of angst, initially, but then over-thinking me heaped a bunch on myself as a consequence. The whole idea of using the bank we chose, as stated above, was the existing relationship they had with our bank back in Canada covering the wire transfer costs to move money from our US account back home to the one in Naples. While the process worked quickly and efficiently, I was a little put off by how easy it was, and spent a few minutes worrying about that. I am pleased to admit that I was able to dismiss those worries quickly. 

The third stemmed from the issues we encountered thanks to the main reason for opening the account in the beginning; we wished to be able to transfer US funds to my mom as we jointly stocked the condo with treats, purchased a US sim card, paid for guest passes for Pelican Bay's beaches, and repaid her for the costs associated on the trip down. Apparently the US, or at least our bank, doesn't use e-transfers to send funds electronically like we do in Canada, opting instead for an app attached to most banks. When we did a test transfer ... weren't we being smart ... the system put a hold on the transaction because of the new account, the issues with the name change, the PIN being reset, and now the e-transfer. That was all on a Friday which prompted everything being paused until we were sure the process worked, likely waiting until the following week. At the time of this writing, we're still waiting. 

Issue #2
When you choose to vacation, you choose to leave things back home on hold, that goes without saying. During normal times that would include prepping the condo for an extended absence, working out the details for funds, and making sure your loved ones are aware of said plans. 

Unfortunately, these are not normal times.

The tranquility of our first few days were interrupted by a call from our son who was back in Guelph. You need to know that recently he's not been very nice to his body with a few accidents directly related to working on major diesel vehicles, all requiring some medical intervention ... nothing major, but concerning, none the less. When the phone signalled he was calling, we both immediately thought, "Uh oh!" We're happy ... HAPPY? ... to report that it wasn't another self-inflicted injury, but that he and his GF were exposed to Omicron when they visited with his former room mates. The most consternating part of the story was they planned ahead and everyone took a rapid test the day before, all registering as negative. Despite the precautions, one of his old roomies started to show symptoms the following day, and fears were confirmed with a positive test. As the days passed both KP and his GF started to display symptoms, leading to a full week of work missed, and we were very happy to hear that while they both felt under the weather, neither felt terrible. 

Our tranquility was disrupted again with a phone call from Joyce's mom, Pearl, with news that she also had been exposed to Omicron while visiting her friends for her weekly bridge date. It turns out that one of the ladies who was recovering from a cardiac procedure had tested positive, I would guess from one of her follow-up visits, and being asymptomatic, felt she was safe to visit with her friends. The ensuing isolation period will be no fun at all for Pearl, and it certainly concerns us since we're a long way from her. Thankfully, our daughter Maddison and hubby Chris are more than willing to make the trip to offer any required assistance. My son's experience with Omicron as a benchmark, we hope that she comes through it as comfortable as possible, but only time will tell.

A casual glance out the window reveals another "crappy day in paradise" with a cloudless sky, a comfortable breeze lofting through the open windows, and a very pleasant temperature. We really are blessed to be able to experience such a Shangri-La thanks to my mother's generosity. Our banking issues will soon be in the rearview mirror and eventually our loved ones will get through their Omicron issues, then we'll settle back into our groove.

I've said it before, but Life is Good!

Eat. Ride. Beach. Sleep. Repeat.

I pen this sitting at beach-themed dining room table in a generous open plan living room that overlooks the 15th hole of the exclusive Pelican Bay GC that lies just beyond the generous lanai of my mom's condo in Naples, Florida, and I'm dumbfounded by both the beauty of the vista and depth of my good fortune. The heavenly cross breeze that leisurely wafts through the condo thanks to the open doors and windows is a welcome respite from the 28 degree (celcius) daily temperatures, and a far cry more pleasing than the frigid conditions of Canada in January. Completing the idyllic setting is the dram of 15 year old single malt compliments of my long-departed father's generously appropriated liquor cabinet and my mother's disdain for the amber awesomeness that fills my glass.

I can't help but count my blessings. 

As my mom's only retired son, I was the easiest choice to help my mom make the long drive south to Florida after her pandemic-forced hiatus, and Joyce was only too happy to assist so we packed up our car, created a two-car convoy, breezed through the border, and made the journey in 2 days, staying overnight in Jonesville, North Carolina. With the impending doom and gloom of a serious set of storms tracking from the west prompting multiple tornado and blizzard warnings, our timing was impeccable. The only issues we encountered were on I95 from South Carolina to Florida, when driving incompetence created an hour long parking lot, and finally arriving upon the source of the jam up, it became frustratingly obvious that the stoppage was simply the result of "rubber necking" the carnage of said incompetence. The obvious fringe benefit of assisting my mother's relocation is the opportunity for an extended respite from a Canadian winter, in addition to avoidance of the Omicron explosion taking place in Ontario right now.

My mother has owned her condo in a community called Pelican Bay in Naples for over 30 years, and any time we can make the trip down to enjoy the surroundings thanks to my mom's generosity is a complete bonus. For those who have either never heard of Naples or can't place it on a map, if you follow the gulf coast down from the Florida panhandle, Naples is almost as far as you can go before hitting the Florida Keys. Pelican Bay is a mixture of high rise, mid rise and villa style condos that boasts it's own stretch of beach accessed via berms through a Mangrove swamp, a wide variety of amenities, and diligently manicured grounds. 

Of the Nature's bounty lining the streets of the community, our favourite is called a Banyan Tree because of its unique jungle-like shape thanks to the buttress roots that drop from its branches resulting in a massive multi limbed trunk that supports a huge canopy. Growing up, one of my favourite Disney movies was Jungle Book, and the first time we experienced the Banyans of Florida, I was immediately reminded of the trees that Mowgli lived amongst. The Banyans are balanced by a variety of southern species like Live Oaks, Palms, and Cypress satisfying any nature lover's interest. Interspersed amongst the majestic trees are a wide assortment of shrub-like vegetation serving as a continuation of the walls surrounding each of the complexes creating a labyrinth of roads and entrances through Pelican Bay. 

There's no shortage of financing here ... my parents bought in at the perfect time back in the early 90's.

Case in point, the condo buildings in Pelican Bay spare no expense each holiday season when it comes to "showing off" when they light up the vegetation creating beautiful vistas to delight those interested in touring the complex. It's certainly big business brilliance by the companies who have filled a specific niche wrapping palms in "twinkle" lights, and the resulting designs significantly compliment the already incredible landscape design. 

I'm sure it comes as little surprise that we brought our bikes to the sunny south and I wasted no time in mounting my trusty steed to explore the surrounding area, discovering that the grid-style arrangement of Naples can be somewhat confusing when trying to stay off the major thoroughfares and attempting a cross country route. What with guard houses, gates, and dead end routes, I've taken to Komoot in an attempt to plan my ventures, but rest assured, getting lost is half the fun since I've discovered all manner of Florida Gulf Coast sights. One thing that's cool around these parts are the number of roads that include a healthy sized bike lane, making riding the major roads significantly safer, but that doesn't mean that I can avoid being the brunt of some road-rager in a rusted out whatever colourfully educating me about using the bike lane on a road that doesn't have one. 

As the saying goes, "Ya can't fix stupid!"

If my musings have sparked a sense of disdain because the view out your window is decidedly opposite, please know that was not my intention and I offer my humblest apologies. We are VERY aware that we are in a privileged position being able to winter in the sunny south and we are not looking to create animosity. 

All the best, folks. I hope that you find some happiness in your lives today.