I don't bounce very well!

If you're of my vintage, you'll fondly recall the yearly holiday special "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and it's iconic, grossly misunderstood villain Bumbles, the Abominable Snowman. I'm sure I not the only child who stage aghast at the TV screen when Yukon Cornelius shooed Bumbles off the cliff, the dull pangs of shock gripping my adolescent eyeballs, only finding relief later as Bumbles reappears to assist with the Huge Christmas tree. As YC remarked, Bumbles bounce.

Well, I'm no Bumbles, although I have been known to bumble my way through things throughout my life.

I don't bounce very well ... at all!

A week ago (Monday March 21st, 2022) the sun was shining brightly, the temperatures were moderate (by Canadian spring standards), and I fancied a stroll. I coerced Joyce to make the short trip to Preservation Park here in Guelph, and we set out for a lovely mid-afternoon hike. Preservation Park has a winding, intricate system of trails that includes gravel roads, single track trails, well established double track paths, and bog-avoiding wooden berms. One could walk these trails 5 different times and end up traversing multiple different km's, be it in the open meadow or shaded woodlands. 

The first portion of our walk was easy peasy as we headed out along the well maintained gravel roads that are popular with the Guelph area dog owners, but our desired full loop would mean venturing into the woodlands, and there we discovered that the shaded protection had only partially melted the winter's snow, leaving the trails treacherously icy. Not to be outdone, we stuck to the mushy edges of trail where the melting fragile ice gave way underfoot allowing for partial traction, but we eventually came upon a small, slightly downhill section that required great care. As Murphy's Law would have it, taking great care produced the exact opposite effect, and as my right foot slid out from under my center of gravity I though, "Uh Oh!"

You know those cartoons that you watched with great glee on many a Saturday morning of your youth that featured ridiculous slapstick slips on banana peels, often resulting in both feet flying up and overhead? Well, my dear wife had a serious sense of deja vu as she watched in horror as my old, grey bulk went fully airborne before landing on my upper back/shoulder with a sickening thud. My many years of contact sports provided me with the requisite experience to not panic as air flooded out of my lungs thanks to the crushing impact of my unbridled impact, but that didn't lessen the pain that wracked my body as I lay in the melting ice and mud.

As I stated above, I definitely don't bounce ... more of a slap, really.

Lying in the muck, I took stock of my being, surmised that I was alive and partially well, struggled to my feet on the still slippery surface, and dusted myself off the best I could. On the return trip to the RAV, I could certainly feel the discomfort of the thud, but I didn't think it was all that bad. I was an ex-varsity football and rugby player ... I'd been hit far harder than any slip on the ice could generate. As the night progressed, I was stiff but unhurt.

Tuesday's shuffle out of bed was slower than normal, and standing upright immediately reminded me of the previous day's events, but moving around loosened things up enough that I felt I could get a rip on the indoor bike trainer in, reasoning that the workout would further loosen the stiffness from my back since I had a playoff basketball game to officiate later in the day. 

While all was not "normal", it was certainly tolerable, and I was able to get up and down the gym floor fairly well, the spectators only marginally aware that the old fart in the stripes looked sort of awkward running all stiff and board-like. By the end of the game I hardly noticed the dull ache in my left flank.

In the middle of the night, something stirred me out of my slumber, and as I sought a different more comfortable positioning by rolling in bed, I was startled by a crack sound that was loud enough to wake Joyce as well. The accompanying sharp jab of pain was not comforting in the least, and seemed to be emanating from my entire left side musculature, causing a low-grade muffled grunt that brought a sense of panic to Joyce. Once the spasm had subsided, it only took 10-15 minutes to re-find sleep.

Wednesday morning was the most pain I've felt in a really, really long time. 

I was scheduled to drive to Shelburne to referee Sr Boys Basketball playoffs, but Ma Nature had other plans, casting an ice storm across southern Ontario, prompting a far-reaching and complete shutdown of the school transportation system, so the day was spent attempting to deal with my spasming back. After navigating the day, the night's retirement proved to be quite the affair as I willed myself to be completely and utterly immobile after struggling to find the solitary position that would abate the pain inducing spasms. Both Joyce and I realized that Thursday I was going to have to seek some help. Being a complete chowderhead, however, I had to make it through the Guelph District 10 Sr Boys Basketball playoff games I had agreed to referee. Wrapping myself up, using a boatload of Tiger Balm, a handful of pain medication, and a lot a teeth-gritting grimaces, I made it through the day. 

One of the many benefits of teaching is the huge number of relationships that get established with the fantastic young people you work with. Of the thousands I interacted with, a healthy number had set their sights on healthcare, and one of them was early in her career as a chiropractor. Dr. Chloe (Foster) Morgan also happened to be the apple of Josh Morgan's eye, one of my co-coaches with GC State's rugby program. I reached out to Dr. Chloe seeking some advice on dealing with my discomfort and was completely thrilled when she cleared a space in her schedule to see me the next day. Upon Dr. Chloe's thorough examination, she postulated that Monday's thud had resulted in a cracked rib, so she referred me to Georgian Imaging Services for an x-ray to confirm. I should hear in a couple of days whether or not I had a break.

How's that for service? 

Armed with some input from Dr. Chloe on how to deal with this new revelation, some quick treatment in an attempted to deal with the spasms, and some KT tape to assist with stabilization, I felt a little bit better about my near future. Besides, as she confirmed, there's not much more I could do to myself, barring any mid-court collision, something I avoided with the nimbleness of a Russian ballet dancer (giggle).

Let's all just agree that, like Forest Gump's admission, "I'm not a very smart man", so of course I would go ahead with the weekend's scheduled refereeing. Through a combination of over-the-counter medications, treatment, and bracing, I am glad to report that all went well, albeit with discomfort. 

So, we arrive at today, Monday March 28th, 2022, and that signals the end of this incredible stretch of events. I'm heading out later today for Shelburne to referee those games that were cancelled last Wednesday due to the ice storm, ending a stretch that included 13 refereeing assignments in 8 days, an ass-over-teakettle fall, and a couple of days supply teaching. I have a follow up with Dr Chloe this week and I think I already feel my rib starting the stitching process because the spams are becoming far more infrequent. 

What a crazy set of circumstances! 

And, to add insult to injury, I haven't been able to get a ride in for 5 days now! 

Like the old adage, "That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger", I will endure this bump in the road ... it's been snowing all week anyway, so I'm not missing any great tours out and about Wellington County. 

Pray for me folks. I need all the help I can get! HaHaHa!

Hello again, hello!

I'm probably really dating myself, but it's like the Neil Diamond song, "Hello again, hello!" 

I'm pecking away on my laptop after being offline for a while, and despite the plethora of topics I have opinions about (like the atrocities surrounding the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the detrimental impact on the global economy, or Ford Nation's questionable decision to remove many of the restrictions surrounding this pandemic), the muse just wasn't moving me so I figured that meant I should take a break from writing for a little.

Well, to coin the epic Jack Nicholson line, "I'm baaaaack!"

The single largest reason for my hiatus was vacationing in Florida during the snowy horribleness of the 2022 Canadian winter, thoroughly enjoying my mother's generosity by sharing of her beautiful condo in Naples. For me, life on vacation is incredibly myopic, so my attention was only slightly beyond the end of my own nose. Having said that, something as huge as the Russian invasion of Ukraine was not on a level that could be ignored, and my understanding of the initial facts were thanks to the lens of the American media.

I'm going to share some thoughts ... that much isn't new ... and I'll likely ruffle some feathers with my words so it behooves me to apologize ahead of time because I don't share thoughts to offend, even though I know that there will be many that stand on the other side of any issue discussed. One of the most beneficial components of my writer's soul is that my happiness doesn't hinge on others affirming me, and by extension, I'm perfectly accepting of others looking at any issue from their viewpoint. It's okay that we don't agree and it doesn't mean either of us is wrong. 

However, I do draw the proverbial line in the sand with others criticizing my character, slandering me or resorting to questionable efforts to intimidate or physically coerce me to change my mind.

So please go ahead a disagree ... but be nice about it. 😉

Regarding the Russian invasion, I don't think many would argue with me that the only ones who support Putin and his henchmen are likely (a) woefully ignorant, or (b) live in fear of what he'll do if they say something. By my estimation, that leaves billions of us aghast at the events playing out at the hands of the Russian military as millions of innocents are so profoundly impacted, some paying the ultimate price. When the invasion began, I stared agape at the sheer audacity of the Goliath named Putin as he faced the David that was Ukraine, and like many, I was "all in" on a David-inspired ending. As each bloody day passed, cessations looked increasingly impossible, with global efforts mounted to force Russia to back down without sparking another World War appearing to have little effect. From where I stand, Putin's ability to create the perfect cocoon while steering the Russian destruction machine seems bulletproof since he's still alive and in power. It's my understanding that his total control of all information released to the Russian people effectively keeps them blissfully unaware of the truth behind the invasion. His outrageous lies about liberating oppressed Russians from Ukraine's Nazi-like rule is both ludicrous and incredulous.

Further to the point, the rest of the planet is either (a) dead set against Putin but powerless to effect any change without sparking WWIII or (b) agrees with Russia's socialistic platform but is VERY wary of the rest of the planet's reaction should they show support. It goes without saying that it's a very frustrating set of events for the rest of us since we are "between a rock and a hard place" and the fallout is impacting our wallets through the chain reaction effect on the global economy. Obviously, having to endure increased inflation pales in comparison to the what the Ukraines are forced to endure, but piled on top of dealing with a 2 year pandemic, the pangs of frustration are tangible, none the less. I don't see how someone as warped as Putin can save face at this point, and my heart bleeds over the death and destruction of Ukraine.

I am no expert on this conflict. My opinions are built on paying attention to first the American media, and now the Canadian media, as I seek to understand more thoroughly.

Now, add to this a spicy dish of crap like Ford Nation's questionable decision to start scaling back the restrictions surrounding the pandemic despite the very obvious positive effect they have had on the spread in Ontario. My understanding is profoundly biased by the education system blinders I have become so comfortable with, creating a skewed viewpoint of importance, leaving me shaking me head in disbelief. I don't think it would come as any surprise to people who know me that I feel strongly that Ford and his cronies have completely botched the management of the province's response, especially their handling ... or is it lack of handling ... of how it impacts our formerly world class school system. 

There is still overcrowding. There have been zero improvements to the ventilation systems. The flipping between in person, on line, synchronous, asynchronous, hybrid methodologies has resulted in massive disruptions in progress for so many frustrated, vulnerable kiddos. 

Add to all of this the removal of masking mandates, the one truly effective method (the proof's in the pudding) of stemming the transmission, knowing full well that unbridling already rebellious teens, tweens, and adolescents allows them to run rampant through the viral mists filling school hallways and cafeterias will inevitably result in spikes of infections. They fully acknowledge this yet seem to be bending to the vocal minority, very likely in an effort to sway votes in the upcoming provincial election. Regardless of where along the political continuum I fall, it is maddeningly frustrating that the transparent garnering of votes could have dire consequences for the province's most vulnerable. 

Top all of that off with a little viral biology.

In the event you weren't aware, viruses continually seek to improve their ability to propagate through good ol' Darwin's "survival of the fittest" theory. When a virus infects a body, it enters an infected cell, hijacks the nucleus, and forces the cell to replicate the virus' genetic code. During this process, there are often minor glitches in the replication that usually result in that one virus being ineffective, but with probability on its side, there are those long-shot mutations that result in an enhanced effect that increases the likelihood of that one virus surviving long enough to propagate. Joe Public knows these as variants. 

Why do you nee to know this? And how does it relate to masks?

IMHO, by removing the mask mandate, many school aged children will choose to throw their mask in the trash, continue their social habits, and expose themselves to increased chance of infection. Even if vaccinated, this offers the virus a chance to mutate, significantly increasing the likelihood of another variant, causing science to play catch-up all over again. I totally understand that we will be forced to live with Covid for the foreseeable future with the very strong chance of yearly boosters just like the influenza virus, but why give biology the opportunity to speed the process up when wearing masks is a simple and easy thing? 

Are they annoying? You bet! Are they uncomfortable? You bet! Are they a smart choice? You bet!

Oh well, like I already stated, I can hold a different opinion, have an animated discussion, and not harbour resentment or offense ... I'll still be wearing my mask when I return to school to help my teacher friends.