The Good, the bad, and the Ugly v2.0

Once before, I used Clint Eastwood's iconic Spaghetti Western, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" as a theme for a post, so I guess it's appropriate to label this as v2.0 or the sequel. As I write this, the dusty recollection of the theme song bubbles up from my Hippocampus, it's memorable shrill whistle and waa waa immediately taking me back to my youth. The entire thing surrounds a mostly wonderful road trip to Kingston recently, and while the overall grade was a stellar 98%, that nagging 2% still takes a wee bit of the shine off thanks largely to the frustrations created by the folks in the Big Smoke.

This past winter, I was approached by an old Queen's team mate to consider becoming an Era Captain to assist the new head coach, Steve Snyder, in establishing a more significant connection between football alumni and the present program. The idea was to be the funnel that information would stream through from coach Snyder to what would hopefully be a wider audience about initiatives, programs and events with the goal to bring the past closer to the future, allowing his 2021 players to enjoy the benefits that alumni could bring. At the same time, coach Snyder was spearheading the organization of the 2021 Queen's Football Hall of Fame dinner after a Covid induced delay from it's scheduled 2020 timeline, and I was honoured to be invited to become a part of the selection committee.

Following the theme, this would be considered GOOD!

A consequence of this enhanced commitment to my alma mater, I immediately felt a strong connection to coach Snyder's dreams for my beloved Gaels, making the urge to take in the live action almost unescapable. After a failed attempt for the Gaels visit to U of T's Varsity stadium, I convinced Joyce that a road trip to Kingston was needed, and after tickets were purchased, I was happier that fat kid at an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

This would also be considered GOOD!

As the departure loomed, my mood soured slightly as the weather forecast signalled the building of an ark, with predictions of 100% chance of 25-40 mm of rain at game time. For the record, I dearly LOVE my Gaels, but that was a bit dour, even for me. Holding off to make the final decision until 9:00 am on the day of the game, the subtle shifts in the forecast begged for a YES, and we eagerly set off, back to our old digs. For those that don't know, or may have forgotten, Joyce and I met in Kingston while working together at the then named Firehall Restaurant, and once the spark of romance was ignited, lived together for a few years in our beloved limestone city. Thankfully, as the relatively painless drive ticked off the km's, the horizon seemed to be lightening, and with it, our fears of getting drenched. 

Again, this is GOOD!

Just passing Napanee on the 401, the heavens opened and a biblically proportioned deluge ensued, and a scan of the horizon showed dark and angry for as far as our eyes could see. Like troopers, we steeled ourselves to the possibility with a nervous giggle and a shrug, silently offering prayers for a break in the inevitable. Pulling off the highway and heading south toward the stadium, we were delighted to see some hopeful streaks of sunshine peeking through the canopy. Since we were an hour early and bathroom facilities were paramount with our morning coffees fully transitioned through our systems, we chose to brave a quick bite at a local Harvey's, something very out of character for us! We do not choose Fast Food very often, and it is almost never burgers and fries, but hunger and bladder pressure won out, so a couple of original combos please and thank you!

This would fall under BAD!

Bladders vacated, belly rumbles silenced, we arrived at Richardson Stadium, parked the RAV, and were basked in several golden beams of sunlight as the clouds dissipated in a Moses-inspired parting around that portion of the city. After the vaccine protocols, the ticket checking and finding our seats, I was grinning like a Cheshire Cat at the prospect of the game proceeding in favourable weather. The new Richardson in no, way, shape, or form resembled the old Richardson of my memory! If you haven't seen it live, you're missing out. This is a state-of-the-art facility that must be the envy of many universities in the OUA, and since my former team mates and I had assisted with the fund raising for it, I felt a little pang of pride at how it turned out. The fortunate dissipation of the clouds continued throughout the game, at times bathing the stadium in brilliant sunshine, making the iconic yellow jerseys pop with colour. 

Just to be clear, this would all be GOOD!

The game turned out to be a fan-friendly affair when, after a slow 1st quarter, my Gaels exploded on route to a 45-0 rout of a floundering Carleton, but the nature of the scoring was easily one of the queerest affairs I have ever been witnessed. The 45 points included 4 safeties (2 points each), 3 field goals (3 points each), and some spectacular defensive execution leaving Carleton shooting blanks all game. As the clocked inevitably counted down, I yearned for the defence to be rewarded for their Heculanean efforts by notching their own score, and as LB #54 provided their 4th interception and lumbered toward the end zone, I raised out of my seat in anticipation. Unfortunately, the young man couldn't get the piano off his back and was caught on the 3 yard line, leading to one of the easiest TD's that star running back Rasheed Tucker would ever be gifted. In the end, while elated with the outcome, both Joyce and I felt for the Carleton player's obvious frustrations over their lack of execution.

Most definitely GOOD, but the lack of bums in seats despite Homecoming Weekend was BAD.

A fringe benefit of a career in education is the networking that takes place with people from all corners of the province, so once the roadie plans were firm, I reached out to an old friend with an offer to commiserate after the game. I was thrilled when the reply was YES, and we set off for the Loyal Oarsman Pub to meet Dale Huddleston, the unofficial mayor of Kingston, to reconnect, reminisce, and laugh our way through the evening. Dale is salt of the earth, knows a million people, is one of the kindest / compassionate / friendliest people I know, and is just plain fun to share a drink + meal with. Between smiles, belly laughs, and stories, we enjoyed some pretty tasty pub-style offerings, and were delighted to be joined by Dale's son, Jeff, a Kingston police officer, who shared his dealings with the hoard of homecoming revellers that were making a mess of the Queen's student ghetto ... again.

Despite the frustrations surrounding the students, the night was most definitely GOOD!

As with all great events, the end was inevitable, so following a restful night at a local hotel, we grabbed a Tim's for a memory-prodding stroll around the Kingston downtown and Queen's campus. We were amazed at how much still remained, stalwarts of our years from over 30 years ago, and were in awe of the incredible limestone architecture throughout, sharing dozens of stories that were percolating up from deep inside our brains. We visited old workplaces, old halls of study, old neighbourhoods, and thoroughly enjoyed a relatively tepid October morning. Of course, the talks certainly included the potential of a return to the Limestone City in our futures, but it's all just air, at least at this point. It's not a NO, more like a NOT YET.

Since this is easily GOOD ... Where's the UGLY?

The drive home was definitely not on par with the weekend's brilliance! Since we decided that retirement afforded us the opportunity to brave the 401 all the way back to Guelph by eschewing the lure of the costly 418/407, we shrugged off the first traffic jam just outside of Oshawa that, once cleared, looked to be the only issue of the trip. Unfortunately, we should have known better and the 2 hour stop-n-go across the Big Smoke was the consequence. Easily the most frustrating thing that almost all can empathize with was the fact that when we finally arrived at the source of the congestion, it was nothing more that a cruiser with flashing lights signalling a single lane merge. Toronto drivers are curious, that's for sure! After finally relenting to our frustrations, we took the senile route home for the final 30 km, and arriving at the condo, were dismayed that the normal 3.5 hour trip had taken 5.5 hours all in. 

Absolutely and frustratingly UGLY!

Ah well, as I said, 98% great, and who wouldn't take a 98%?

Top 10 reasons for being Thankful

Thanksgiving is a time when most Canadians stop rushing about taking care of their self-imposed list of To Do's and take stock of the important stuff that makes life worth waking up for each morning. I don't need to tell you that it's usually a time for recognizing loved ones, feasting on good foods, and enjoying the relationships that we often take for granted in our daily hubbub. 

Following the lead of David Letterman, here's the top 10 reasons I'm thankful these days:

#10 - I'm thankful for having a lifetime of great memories
I may not have claimed international fame or amassed incredible fortune, but I have gathered a lifetime of amazing memories, the likes of which I wouldn't trade for the world. Don't get me wrong, there are things I wish could have been subtilely different, but I can confidently state that each of those happenings were responsible for creating the person I am today. One of greatest challenges of downsizing was eliminating things that proudly held significance for a time in my life, and I have Rubbermaid containers filled with mementoes I can't part with ... yet. I am richer than any king, my golden moments forging a life I am immeasurably proud of. My coffers are not so full, however, that there's no room for what the future might hold because I'm not ready for life to be behind me yet.

#9 - I'm thankful for having the courage to move
When I floated the "What about moving" balloon first with Joyce, then with my family, the thought was met with some pregnant pauses, some raised eyebrows, some Hmmm's and Huuuh's, and nibbled lower lips. The question asked most often was WHY? and was almost always followed by WHERE? WHEN? and even ARE YOU CRAZY? God bless her, my mother added a maternal warning about how difficult it was to make new friends at our age. For a large proportion of my living years, I have been headquartered in Barrie and I felt strongly that with retirement, I now had the flexibility to give something else an honest try since a regular commute to some workplace was no longer an issue. Was it anxiety provoking? Sure, but at the same time it was exhilarating. 

#8 - I'm thankful for having found some good friends ... and the list keeps changing

One fo the fringe benefits of the life I've chosen to lead is the longterm shared experiences that cause a tendency toward affiliation with a wide variety people that I may not have had a chance to build a relationship with in other circumstances. Building on the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child", there are a wide assortment of personalities, competencies, tendencies, and perspectives presented in one's life, yet the goal is always the contentment of connection that creates a like-mindedness that fosters two way communication. When that communication unveils commonalities, the building of relationship bridges begins and, when things are optimal, those bridges result in acquaintances developing into friendships. The more open I allow myself to be with those of similar personalities, the more of those friendships develop. Of course, this is really put to the test considering #9, with those friendships now spread apart in distance, lowering the frequency of communication, but if the bonds are strong they can endure those obstacles. I am rich beyond measure with the people in my life I can confidently call my friends from my Queen's team/class mates, to my teaching colleagues, to my coaching partners, to the athletes/students I've interacted with.

#7 - I'm thankful for having the Retired Life
I've posted a handful of other writings about retirement so I won't rehash them here. Do I feel blessed to have wisely chosen a career path that allows for a satisfying and comfortable retirement? Of course. Do I feel that I have someway done something underhanded or quasi-slimy because the education pension is so awesome? Not on your life! I feel very strongly that I went above and beyond the job description for the kids whose care I was charged with, often extending the work day well past the scheduled end despite the understanding that there was zero chance of renumeration for the effort, all with the desire to provide the most enriched and complete opportunity for their development. I am 100% content with my 30 years and I will embrace the opportunity to enjoy shifting my focus from external to internal during my twilight years.

#6 - I'm thankful for having good health
As regular readers of this Blog will recall, I've staved a significant portion of my life battling with body composition, the result of flaws in my diet coupled with fluctuations in activity levels. Having occupied both sides of the mystic 300 lb mark, unfortunately multiple times, I know deep down that I have likely damaged my chances of living into my 90's, despite my family genetic benevolence. My paternal great grandparents lived well into their 80's, and their offspring, my grandparents, likewise with my Grammy living until 101. My maternal great grandparents lived into their 70's, and their children, my Nana and Papa, living into their 90's. My mother has already claimed the Octogenarian title and shows no sign of stopping. Were it not for the Cursed Big C, my father would likely have done the same. I firmly believe now that had I embraced the Bike Life at an earlier stage, I may have altered my prognosis somewhat, but no one can undo the past, so this is my reality. What I can say with confidence is that I feel like I've currently equalled my best levels of fitness, I'm doing a better job with portion control, I'm embracing healthier alternatives in my daily sustenance, and I'll take life day by day living in the moment. 

#5 - I'm thankful for having time for me

As I've alluded to, I spent a goodly portion of my adult years giving to others, and while I begrudge ZERO of those days, I am beyond thrilled with being able to now live a life of my choosing. I have found that I am rising earlier than I ever have, eager to get at the minutes of the day, thrilled with the prospect of filling those minutes with things that leave me fulfilled, happy, content and satisfied. As a consequence of some of the previous items in this list, much of my day is spent in the company of my beloved wife Joyce and we both feel our marriage is the strongest it's ever been. Case in point, we recently decided to change our perspective, hopped in the RAV, drove to Wasaga Beach and treated ourselves to a heavenly walk of the entire beach from south to north and back, the entire time sharing thoughts about our past, present and future. The day was capped with a trip to Angus to check in on the new Mr and Mrs Cove and their fur-baby Remi. During the drive home to Guelph, I was smiling at how glorious it all felt. 

#4 - I'm thankful for having 3 awesome brothers

I've written previously about what I think when it comes to by brothers Dave, Rob, and Mike. None of that has changed! The longer that I spend on this planet, I see the dynamics of other families and I am gifted with the understanding that my own is pretty gosh darned good. Again, I have explained previously how very different the 4 of us are, and some might erroneously think that could lead to division. Like any deep relationship, we are comfortable in each other's differences and the impacts that has on the minutes we have to share at this point in our lives. Could we make an effort to get together face to face more often then we do? Absolutely! Does that leave me wanting? Nope! Our uniqueness has created very different lives, each filled with time-siphons that pull in opposing directions, but don't for a minute think that it diminishes our bond. One of the things we've begun to do is to gather together, just us, to share some minutes in the present and continue to reassure that we have each other's back, no matter what. This GD pandemic has thrown a monkey wrench in the gears but we'll be reinstating that tradition in the very near future.

#3 - I'm thankful for having parents at almost 60 years old
Both Joyce and I come from good stock! As I said earlier, my mother is an Octogenarian, but Joyce's mom has claimed the title of Nonagenarian and shows serious signs of striving for the magic Centurion title. Both still live on their own, running their homes without medical or profession assistance, minds still sharp as a knife, with only the normal physical issues of aging presenting obstacles. Having the time to visit, converse, assist with chores, and enjoy each other's company is one of the many fringe benefits of retirement, but don't for a second think that we're not grateful for the gift bequeathed us. To be in the shadow of our 60's and to have parents in such good state? It's a blessing that we embrace tightly. It will all inevitably change so we are staying present, immensely enjoying the minutes we get in the right here and now.

#2 - I'm thankful for having 2 incredible children

Like all biological entities, the urge to procreate and continue the genetic line is deeply seeded in our DNA, but unlike so many living things on this planet, we humans make a much deeper commitment to the development of our offspring. Naysayers will bleat about this circumstance or that contradiction, but if you look at the 8 or so billion people on this planet, a significant proportion of them operate under that mindset. To raise children is one of life's greatest pleasures ... and challenges ... but when you can sit back and affirm that your now adult-aged kids are self-sufficient, competent, well-rounded, loving, caring, and just flat-out great people? You bask in the glow of a tremendous success! Acknowledging all bias, our kids are amazing people and we couldn't be prouder! The only thing missing from our family at this point is grandchildren ... No pressure M+K ... but I am confident that time will take care of that.

Annnnd 

#1 - I'm thankful for having found my soul mate

Let's set the record straight ... I've already won the Life Lottery. I have discovered the Ying to my Yang; the PB to my Jelly; the Cheese to my Macaroni; the Ping to my Pong; the hitch in my giddy-up; the normal to my crazy. So many years ago, when Joyce uttered those immortal words confirming she felt the same as I did, I couldn't have dreamed for a better marriage, and as corny as it sounds, my love for her increases every year. I can't thank her enough for so selflessly agreeing to be okay with all of my peculiarities, supporting my passions, and agreeing with my hair-brained choices! She is one of the most giving, loving, caring, genuine people I have ever met, and the glow she creates deep in my soul each time she sends me that googly-eyed look is the stuff that life is made of! In life's quiet moments, these days mounted atop the saddle of my bike out on some lonely road with the sun shining brightly, I praise the Lord for the good fortune graced upon me. 

To coin one of my favourites, "Me and Joyce ... we're like peas 'n carrots!"

And I am MOST ASSUREDLY thankful!

Coach P is a little miffed

The good news is that OUA/CIS sports are back on the table and that makes this retired coach Uber happy because that was a big component of the decision to relocate to a university town like Guelph. Unfortunately, as quickly as that smile appeared, the corners of my mouth turned southward as I discovered that U-Sports, and their college versions, in a pandemic is not even close to what it was previously, and that has this old fart miffed. As I sit down to write this, I am forced to admit that my distaste for the situation is not aimed at anyone in particular, but that doesn't mean that the level of miffed-ness is any less valid. While I admit that this is a 1st world problem, it still burns my butt like waist high flame.

If you haven't paid attention to the OUA/CIS situation, the quick info you need to know is that cheering your uni of choice LIVE is only possible if you're quick with the mouse because the reduced venue capacity results a limited number of tickets being available, and there's a really good chance that you'll end up left blowing in the breeze like a flag at half mast. While I was successful in securing preseason tickets for rugby at Guelph, I have been unsuccessful in multiple attempts for regular season clashes, relegating me to proverbial knothole peering, wrong side of the fence cheering of my youth. What good is it to have the cash and time to display your colours in support if you can't get past the gates?

Many of you who have read my previous posts will know that I'm a proud-as-a-peacock, gold wearing, highland-loving, former Queen's Golden Gael who takes absolute glee to pointing out my alma mater's successes to all of my buddies who couldn't get into Queen's ... HaHaHa! Choosing to live in Guelph means that travelling to Kingston to cheer on the Gaels in person and their state-of-the-art Richardson Stadium is doable but difficult, made even more so by the fact that game tickets are near to impossible to secure. Silly me, I reckoned that when my Gaels got on the bus to travel to U of T's Varsity Stadium, I would be able to scratch the itch easily. It is U of T football, after all, so I figured how many fans could there be? Oh no, no, no, my dear man ... those tickets are long spoken for.

Well, colour me yellow and hang me from the flagpole.

It has become blatantly obvious that I must join the likes of scalpers, eyes illuminated by the phosphorescent glow of my Mac Air, a slight sweat on my brow as my right index figure twitches nervously while it hovers above the trackpad in anticipation of clicking through the ticket web portal mere seconds after the treasures are released to the public. If that's not a FML moment then I'm not sure what is.

Thinking this to be an OUA/CIS thing would be a grave mistake. When I stepped down as a Georgian Grizzly assistant this year, I mistakenly imagined cheering the blue 'n black on from the other side of the pitch, but I recently found out that GC and the OCAA have declared ALL fans persona non grata for games. Like their university compatriots, rabid fans are left to choose the only option available ... stream the game on-line. After so many months of social distancing, I don't mind admitting that some outdoor live action was certainly desirable, but I guess more patience is required. I hope that we can get ahead of this virus soon since the indoor sports will be starting up in November.

WAIT!

In a stoke of dextrous brilliance I was able to secure two little pieces of glory for Guelph @ Western Men's Rugby game on Oct 8th! How does that boil your beans?

Road Trip!