The truth is harsh!

If you spend even a couple of minutes on Google (or Bing, or Yahoo, etc) looking for who wrote "10 harsh truths that everyone needs to know", you'll be faced with literally 100's of variations on a theme, and each is valuable in its own right. While I wish to make you think for a little bit about how and why you're living your life the way you've chosen, I don't for one minute wish you to think that I'm pointing out things that are wrong, or need fixing, or faults.

This list is 80% borrowed from brilliant minds in multiple sources and 20% from my own brain making accreditation difficult so I'll simply throw it out there as a group thank you to all who seek to enlighten their brethren! While the bolded 'truths' are someone else's, much of the explanation is mine. As such, they are thoughts that made me take stock of my personal how's and why's. I hope that they cause you to pause, and Lord willing, smile at the state of things you're responsible for.

Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.
Happiness is always present in your life ... it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging. True happiness is liking what you get, being grateful for life's pleasures, and being content with your efforts to bring happiness into the lives of others. In an analogy, it's like trying to get to tomorrow, but before tomorrow arrives, it's today. In the end, like your attitude, your happiness is 100% under your control and you won't FIND it anywhere.

Donating money does less than donating time.

Giving your time is a way to change your perception, creating a memory for yourself and others that will last forever. In today's society, it's a commonplace complaint that we haven't got time for this or for that, when in reality, we always have time to help. That's where the notion of random acts of kindness grew out of. As my mother has oft reminded me, once you give a gift away, you lose all power over it. If you donate money, you have zero say in how it is applied. If you gift yourself to someone, you have sole control on what, how, where, when and why.

Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.

Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present. There's a saying, "The guy who dies with the most toys still dies" so stuff will only bring fleeting moments of happiness while living with generosity and altruism will fill multiple hearts before the final bell tolls. I've played the Lottery game with my wife, especially when we take a stab at a super-mega jackpot potential, and you can ask her to confirm this, I've always maintained that the sheer joy of giving some of it away is a larger portion of the 'WHAT IF' for me. Sure, I like to be comfortable and secure as much as the next person, and you need SOME money to do that, but I don't think you need as much as many people think.

Your achievements and successes won't matter on your deathbed.

When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that woulda, coulda, shoulda ... you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made. Start acting accordingly. True fulfillment is going bankrupt on the day you die. Trophies, medals, and certificates are meant to remind YOU of your life's accomplishments, not to remind others. In the end of this life, nobody gets out alive, and people will remember how you made them feel, not what you accomplished.

Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.

Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you would want to read. When all is falling down around you, it is profoundly difficult to understand that you're not the only one experiencing hardship and strife. It's a human trait to look out for number one, but Life isn't about what happens, it's about how you react. Time wasted looking for sympathy is time lost for dealing with the issues and making lemonade out of lemons.

You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.
Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and being. Trying to please others places the locale of the reward external. Living a grateful and generous life begets intrinsic rewards. Like Nike's famous ad campaign, JUST DO IT, but do it for how it makes YOU feel, not how it makes OTHERS feel. 

Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.
Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement. Take a poll of the most successful athletes, business people, scientists, or humanitarians and you'll find that most will readily admit that they knew of many others with more natural talent, but they exceeded expectations through focus, determination, and belief. A great analogy is that single blade of grass that emerges from the cement sidewalk simply because it refused to give up.

Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.
Like the airlines always warn prior to take off, you have to put on your own oxygen mask to save the person sitting right next to you. You can't pour goodness out of an empty cup. The most empathetic, altruistic people are often guilty of burning the candle at both ends by putting themselves in harm's way through their sacrifice to others. Always make sure there's time in your day to recharge your own batteries before trying to boost the batteries of others.

Time is your most valuable asset ... you need to prioritize how you spend it.
You have the power and responsibility to decide what you do with the time you have, so choose wisely. What would bring greater benefit, an hour surfing Social Media or an hour of focused play with a child? How we choose to spend our 86 400 seconds each day will have a profound impact 7 days from now ... or 4 weeks from now ... or 2 years from now. As the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day".

You're going to die and you have no idea when.

Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in the most meaningful way to you. Planning for tomorrow or anguishing over yesterday has the potential to rob you of today's gratification. Plan like you'll live forever, learn from what's already passed, but live like the right here, right now is the most important thing in the universe. Invest yourself in whole focus, shun distraction, and the plans of tomorrow will be built on the foundations of today. As Confucius wisely taught, "A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step" so focus what's right in front of you and stride out with purpose.

Reunited and it feels so good

The old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow stronger" was put to the test recently when I pointed the RAV south eastward and made the long trek back 'home' to Kingston for a Gaels FB reunion, a celebration of the 40th year since my old mates and I competed in the Nation's CIS championship, the Vanier Cup. As kudos to the strength of our bond, it took us all of 10 seconds to slide seamlessly back into full chirp mode, the guffaws and giggles exploding with a regularity, leaving diaphragms spasming and lungs wheezing. 

Shakespeare famous wrote, We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother, in his tale surrounding the life of English king Henry V.

We're most assuredly a band of brothers from different mothers, personifying forged bonds of legendary strength through our single-minded combat in a Grail quest against unsurmountable odds, the competition being a couple of minutes too long as our narrowest of come-from-behind leads evaporated with a tip o' the hat to a talented U of C Dinos team. Despite the gut wrenching loss, we took great solace in the knowledge that all avenues and energies were exhausted in our efforts, and we held ... and still hold ... our heads high, chins forward, shoulders back in pride of a job well done.

After nine hours of travel, an estimated 4 Litres of Rye and beer, over 10 000 calories of delicious decadence, and 4000 wide smiles, my reconnection with the greatest group of fellows this old fart could hope for was complete, the tales of our conquests grown exponentially more fantastic with each telling. We shared the events of our families and loved ones, inquired about work statuses and retirements, gifted 100's hugs and handshakes, and infused $1000's into the economy of Kingston. Forever the 'Big Yellow Guys', we wrapped ourselves in our old golden game jerseys, descended on the world class replacement of Queen's University's Richardson Stadium (complete with the unveiling of it's latest offering in the Stu Lang Pavillion), and cheered ourselves hoarse as our beloved Gaels battled the Evil Empire (Western) to the last second, only to mimic our 1983 experience as a last second TD wrenched the victory from our golden hands. 

In a wonderful twist of irony, I was elected by my team mates to participate in a OUA TV halftime interview about the value that the state of the art Richardson Stadium would bring to the program, and the feeling of reuniting with my mates to celebrate our longevity. As the representative of the 1983 team, I was joined by the 1961 team's elected representative Peter Thompson, a familiar face that I had first met many moons ago, even before I attended Queen's, since he had played for a few years with my father. Even with my personal sense of accomplishment, it was most comforting to accept the congratulations of team mates as they expressed thanks for a job well done representing them. 

Special shout-out to Kim Wilkinson, Queen's Development Officer, for her gifts of opportunity and swag, some new duds to proudly don as I seek to convince the next generation on the virtues of a Queen's experience, and maybe even a player or three for Coach Snyder.

Always resilient, we washed away our disappointment of the loss with an epic tailgate that was highlighted by Rob and Tish Ball (Gaels '78) gastronomic wizardry of pulled pork and meatball hoagies. The ranks swelled to historic proportions with an estimated 100+ former players and spouses commiserating over the day's events. The smiles were wide, the hearts filled beyond capacity, the laughs aplenty, and the twinkles in the eyes beaming with love, familiarity, and gratitude.

The highlight of the entire weekend was the appreciative grin of our brother Jeff Kyle who, beset by the fickle finger of fate, stoically braving the toll the excitement had on his fragile energy levels, graciously accepting the tremendous outpouring of love and support. 

The last but certainly not least would be a HUGE thank you to Ross O'Doherty for the countless amount of time and energy he gifted us all in organization of said reunion's activities ... the golf, the meals, the herding of cats ... all was above and beyond! I personally lost count of the number of times we each took turns thanking him, but here's another just in case his beer goggles were over his ears as well. OD, you're limited edition, brother! You spoiled us rotten ... again!

If you played football, or have a working knowledge of the game, you'll be astutely aware that the game is generally considered to be won or lost in the trenches, the battle of O and D lines, aka pianos movers, while the bargain of victory falling on the 'skill' players, aka piano players. As such, our cadre's Offensive Lineman, affectionately coined 'The Hogs', are a tight knit collection of girth, aggression, intelligence, and mischievousness, and some of my dearest friends. Our small group made the trek from destinations afar like Atlanta, Philly, Arnprior, Oshawa and (of course) the Beach, with a nod to Lively as we toasted the absence of our adopted fallen brother John Larsen (RIP 2021) with ryes held aloft and fondness in our breast. Always the life of the party, if I do say so myself, we led the way ... just like always ... taking back the night as we closed the Merchant, our adopted headquarters, not once but twice, our bellies full and our livers teetering on the edge of destruction, causing some to struggle with the short trek back to the safety of our beds, a listing ambulatory escapade who's video brought even more hilarity to our already taxed cheek muscles.

The quintessential wrap up was the welcomed comfort of Morrion's Restaurant, the famed breakfast nook of Kingston's downtown, whose greasy gloriousness lubricated our weary insides with a warming glow of familiarity. I, for one, have oft been thankful for the medicinal properties of fried eggs, French toast, pancakes and bacon in my attempt to tolerate my adolescent-like misbehaviour.

In the loooooong drive home, I found myself reminiscing about the glory of the past 60 hours, and felt a growing gratitude for the seemingly endless comments and compliments I received from my brethren throughout the weekend, an amazing gift that I'll hold close to my soul.

I've said it before in my writings, but it begs repeating, I'm a blessed fellow. 

Let the recuperations begin!

They're not GREAT by fluke!

Regular readers of these little Internet snippets will recall that a little over a year ago, Joyce and I decided to put down some roots in the wee town of Wasaga Beach, a quaint little hamlet on the southern shores of Georgian Bay renowned for its world record holding stretch of sandy beaches. Living for years on the shores of Lake Simcoe's largest city of Barrie, having access to waterfront felt as familiar as an old favourite sweatshirt, but I've quickly come to understand that living on a Great Lake was a darn sight different than living on a 'normal' sized lake.

If I had to describe Joyce to someone who didn't know her, I'd use adjectives like loving, caring, generous, compassionate, uplifting, and loyal, but you might be surprised if I used beach-lover. Joyce's self-professed favourite form of activity is to walk a stretch of the incredible Wasaga waterfront, with the part called Allenwood Beach being her favourite. Being the dutiful hubby, I try to join her as often as I can, and we've solved a great many of our concerns during the discussions that filled those strolls.

For all of the walks and wanders, until recently I hadn't spent very many moments actually ON Georgian Bay, but that changed when my good friend Pete Kalfleisch generously shared his passion for fishing, inviting me for an evening's entertainment in the Ichthyological arts. Armed with technology that I didn't even know existed, captain Pete navigated the surprisingly varied underwater terrain off the shores of Collingwood with a skill that would leave any mariner impressed, and I came away with a deeper appreciation for the sheer size of the bay, and by relation, the size of Canada's Great Lakes.

I was left with a curiousity that prompted some time on my laptop, the fruits of those minutes the following minutiae.

37 things you probably never knew about the Great Lakes

1. Lake Superior is actually not a lake at all, but an inland sea.
2. All of the four other Great Lakes, plus three more the size of Lake Erie, would fit inside Lake Superior.
3. Isle Royale is a massive island surrounded by Lake Superior. Within this island are several smaller lakes. Yes, that’s a lake on a lake.
4. Despite its massive size, Lake Superior is an extremely young formation by Earth’s standards (only 10,000 years old).
5. There is enough water in Lake Superior to submerge all of North and South America in 1 foot of water.
6. Lake Superior contains 3 quadrillion gallons of water (3,000,000,000,000,000). All five of the Great Lakes combined contain 6 quadrillion gallons.
7. Contained within Lake Superior is a whopping 10% of the world’s fresh surface water.
8. It’s estimated there are about 100 million lake trout in Lake Superior. That’s nearly one-fifth of the human population of North America!
9. There are small outlets through which water leaves Lake Superior. It takes two centuries for all the water in the lake to replace itself.
10. Lake Erie is the fourth-largest Great Lake in surface area, and the smallest in depth. It’s the 11th largest lake on the planet.
11. There is alleged to be a 30- to 40-foot-long “monster” in Lake Erie named Bessie. The earliest recorded sighting goes back as early as 1793.
12. Water in Lake Erie replaces itself in only 2.6 years, which is notable considering the water in Lake Superior takes two centuries.
13. The original publication of Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax contained the line, “I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.” Fourteen years later, the Ohio Sea Grant Program wrote to Seuss to make the case that conditions had improved. He removed the line.
14. Not only is Lake Erie the smallest Great Lake when it comes to volume, but it’s surrounded by the most industry. Seventeen metropolitan areas, each with populations of more than 50,000, border the Lake Erie basin.
15. During the War of 1812, the U.S. beat the British in a naval battle called the Battle of Lake Erie, forcing them to abandon Detroit.
16. The shoreline of all the Great Lakes combined equals nearly 44% of the circumference of the planet.
17. If not for the Straits of Mackinac, Lake Michigan, and Lake Huron might be considered one lake. Hydrologically speaking, they have the same mean water level and are considered one lake.
18. The Keystone State was one of the largest and most luxurious wooden steamships running during the Civil War. In 1861, it disappeared. In 2013, it was found 30 miles northeast of Harrisville under 175 feet of water.
19. Goderich Mine is the largest salt mine in the world. Part of it runs underneath Lake Huron, more than 500 meters underground.
20. Below Lake Huron, there are 9,000-year-old animal-herding structures used by prehistoric people from when the water levels were significantly lower.
21. There are massive sinkholes in Lake Huron that have high amounts of sulfur and low amounts of oxygen, almost replicating the conditions of Earth’s ancient oceans 3 million years ago. Unique ecosystems are contained within them.
22. Lake Huron is the second largest among the Great Lakes, and the fifth largest in the world.
23. In size, Lake Michigan ranks third among the Great Lakes, and sixth among all freshwater lakes in the world.
24. Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that is entirely within the borders of the United States.
25. The largest freshwater sand dunes in the world line the shores of Lake Michigan.
26. Because water enters and exits Lake Michigan through the same path, it takes 77 years longer for the water to replace itself than in Huron, despite their similarity in size and depth. (Lake Michigan: 99 years, Lake Huron: 22 years)
27. When the temperature of Lake Michigan is below freezing, this happens.
28. Within Lake Michigan there is a “triangle” with a similar reputation to the Bermuda Triangle, where a large amount of “strange disappearances” have occurred. There have also been alleged UFO sightings.
29. Singapore, Mich., is a ghost town on the shores of Lake Michigan that was buried under sand in 1871. Because of severe weather conditions and a lack of resources due to the need to rebuild after the great Chicago fire, the town was lost completely.
30. In the mid-19th century, Lake Michigan had a pirate problem. Their booty: timber. In fact, the demise of Singapore is due in large part to the rapidly deforested area surrounding the town.
31. Jim Dreyer swam across Lake Michigan in 1998 (65 miles), and then in 2003, he swam the length of Lake Michigan (422 miles).
32. Lake Michigan was the location of the first recorded “Big Great Lakes disaster,” in which a steamer carrying 600 people collided with a schooner delivering timber to Chicago. Four hundred and fifty people died.
33. Lake Ontario is the smallest of the Great Lakes in surface area, and second smallest in depth. It’s the 14th largest lake on the planet.
34. The province of Ontario was named after the lake, and not vice versa.
35. In 1804, a Canadian warship, His Majesty’s Ship Speedy, sank in Lake Ontario. In 1990, wreck hunter Ed Burtt managed to find it. Only, he isn’t allowed to recover any artifacts until a government-approved site to exhibit them is found. He’s still waiting.
36. Babe Ruth hit his first major league home run at Hanlan’s Point Stadium in Toronto. It landed in Lake Ontario and is believed to still be there.
37. A lake on Saturn’s moon Titan is named after Lake Ontario.

Class dismissed.

What fills our cup?

I LOVE THIS ANALOGY!

Another deep dive uncovers more pearls of wisdom! A large part of my affinity for this analogy centers around my long-held belief that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! For years I have had a quote from Lou Holtz, former Notre Dame FB coach, as my laptop wallpaper photo to serve as a daily reminder that we are the sole determiner of our mental state. 

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to react!

Holtz didn't write his little gem, but he certainly made it more famous, and it struck a chord with me that has endured the bulk of my adult life. Interpretation being the key, for me the quote urges a glass-half-full attitude with a heaping helping of responsibility. IMHO, the key to our mental health is controlling how we react to the inevitable ebb and flow of our journey from cradle to grave.

It's NOT easy, but it's vital that we acknowledge ownership.

Here's the analogy:
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? Because someone bumped into you?

Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out. Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you ... which WILL happen ... whatever is inside you will come out. It's easy to fake it, until you get rattled.

So we have to ask ourselves,“What's in my cup?"

When life gets tough, what spills over? 

Joy, gratitude, peace and humility? 

Anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting-tendencies? 

Life provides the cup, YOU choose how to fill it.

Today let's work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, resilience, positivity ...

and kindness

and gentleness ...

and love for others.

Source: Austin Tang

What you choose to fill your personal cup with makes all the difference in the world! It's 100% your responsibility to decide, regardless of what others might say, and furthermore, when Life jostles you ... and it will ... YOU and you alone are responsible for what spills out.

Let that sink in.

Peace.

You just never know!

I didn't settle for a career in education ... I CHOSE IT!

I chose to "stamp out the seeds of ignorance", to offer guidance and leadership, to demonstrate empathy and compassion, to pay it forward, to make sure those that need extra love/support/assistance get it when they need it most, to be a parent when the biological ones are struggling with their own stuff.

Oh, and I chose to open the curtains of confusion by facilitating the learning process ... what they actually say I get paid for because anyone in education knows that the other stuff is WAY more important but not monetized. If I'm brutally honest, I've said for years that I chose teaching because it's the only sure-fire way to get paid to coach high school athletes here in Canada. 

The true gemstones in education are all about the stuff in paragraph two, while the classroom action is all paragraph three. My treasure chest is filled to the brim with the relationships, memories, and emotions of 30+ years in education, 80% of which came about through coaching. Great things happened in the classroom, and I established some genuinely gratifying relationships with students within those walls, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit the balance is skewed.

You just never know when a student will be impacted by your influence.

Case in point, I was honoured to be beckoned by a student from years ago, Mackenzie West, to share in her Bear Creek SS graduation ceremonies. If that causes your forehead to wrinkle a bit, that's perfectly understandable since other than refereeing at BC, I had little to do with it. The student in question here was caught in the opening of BC back in 2001, forcing her to be uprooted from Barrie Central after Gr 9+10, imposing she and her classmates with the daunting task of being the leaders and trendsetters for a brand new school. I met Kenz in 1999 when she was in a Gr 9 geography class that required my intervention in my role of SERT for a host of identified students, although she was not one of those. 

As luck would have it for Bear Creek, she was just what the doctor ordered.

So, you might think, why would she seek me out in 2023 with a request to come share a Life's moment with her? During our time together in that class, Kenz and I established a friendship thanks largely to her 1000w smile, mischievous grin, and Energizer battery. There's not much middle ground with Kenz because she wears her heart on her sleeve, and when not trying in vain to refocus her boundless energy, our conversations settled on the common passion of sports, specifically rugby. She was intrigued by the sound of the game, asked a million and one questions, and I could tell that this could be the perfect something to ply her energy to. Never mind that she was gifted with size, strength (coaches can 'see' this), and personality with a gritty edge.

I think that you can guess that Kenz took to rugby like a duck to water, and thanks to the prolific girls' program already in place at BCC, she stepped right into a positive development environment. Everything I surmised in the classroom proved to be perfectly accurate on the pitch, and she fell head over heels for the game, eventually becoming a force for BC's program.

Fast forward to 2023.

Kenz and I were already FB friends so I was moderately aware of the recent events in her life since she was prone to post regular updates that raved about her love life and motherhood. While we connected a few times as she navigated some of Life's pitfalls, I really wasn't aware of what cards Life had dealt her since she left for BC, but I knew enough to know that she had overcome some extremely large hurdles. As I would come to understand, she fell a couple of credits shy of graduation when Life forced what must have been a tough decision to leave high school, but thanks to her strength and determination, she found the will to obtain those final credits so many years later, and qualified to graduate.

Kenz being the larger than life personality she is, she, her family, her friends, and former BC teachers arranged for a personalized convocation that she might check that huge item off her Bucket List. The invitation to share came because she was emphatic that I was a lynch pin in her life's journey.

Of course I said yes. 

What unforrowed before my eyes was a story befit for Hollywood, as I would learn that an injury that was mitigated with opioids led to a multi-year addiction that would eventually lead to rehab. To add more pressure, a youthful love affair was shattered by her husband's untimely death, closely followed by the passing of the rock in her life, her mother. Following the success of getting clean, she fell heavily for her present beau Tommy, and was blessed with motherhood when their union beget a beautiful daughter. 

To say that Kenz was beset with the full gamut of emotions as she listened to teachers she cared deeply about sing her praises about the impact she left on BC and them, about their pride for the strength she demonstrated realigning her life, and the reality that she was now forever a Kodiak grad. At the center of her teary gaze was Todd Smith, affectionately known as T dot, her basketball and rugby coach from her BC days, his love, support, and influence leaving an indelible mark on her soul. Outside of Tommy and her daughter, I'm not at all convinced that she could have a deeper love for anyone else, the connection readily evident to all in attendance. Surrounded by friends and family, she was brighter than a super nova.

I couldn't have been more proud and thankful.

And my teacher batteries are fully recharged!