They're Baaaack!

Those of you who of a similar vintage as I ... aka silver dusted tops ... will recall child actress Heather O'Rourke's memorable utterance, "They're baaaack!" from the iconic horror film of 1982, POLTERGEIST. 

Well, the missus, the momma and I arrived back in Simcoe safe and sound following our 2522 km trip home from our adopted Floridian home, but the voyage was not without it's excitement thanks to hotel issues, howling mountain winds, meals on the road, and the sheer volume of hours being wary of those others sharing the roads with us.

All of that is not a Don't cry for us Argentina ploy, but I thought I'd share some of the things lingering in my short term memory following our wonderful night's rest in our own bed last night ... a TREAT, if I must say! 

Grumble #1

Being inherently cheap, I chose to use up our AirMiles on hotel rooms for the trip home, and partially because I didn't pay as close attention as I should have, but mostly due to some sneakiness on behalf of TriVaGo, I made a booking for the first night of travel using the wrong date. When I used the AirMiles app to be able to use our accumulated miles, the choice got hijacked by TriVaGo meaning that although they accepted the miles, modifications were banned, so we were stuck with that date. The resulting fracas meant that we had to modify our departure plans by a day, the consequences of which would be driving on a Sunday, and consequently on a Monday+Tuesday too, risking construction + congestion delays.

Day one's travels featured a very pleasant and sunny drive for 9.5 hours through the length of Florida, most of Georgia, and parts of South Carolina before arriving at our Hampton Inn in Orangeburg. For the past few years, my mom has chosen a route through Florida that included entering it via I 95 south to Jacksonville, then I 10 west to Lake City, before I 75 south to Naples. Many moons ago, she ventured a chance on I 301 because its path was diagonally southwest from Jacksonville to Ocala, but she found that it was stop 'n go through a variety of little towns. Since I was the pilot for day one's adventures, I persuaded her to give it another try, and much to our delight, the road upgrades and heightened speed limits meant that it was both pleasant and time-saving. Methinks it will become my own personal route-of-choice in the future.

Grumble #2

While the check-in at the Hampton Inn - Orangeburg was painless, I discovered that our rooms were no where near each other, and since ours was on the ground floor, I chose to swap for my mother's fourth floor room, reasoning that it would be much easier for her. Well, that stroke of kindness resulted in her inheriting a malfunctioning TV and a delay in turning in for the night as the Hampton staff bumbled their way through the repairs. Complaints of the inconvenience fell on deaf ears so CURSE YOU Hampton Inn!

Day two's 9-hour travels through South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania were anticipated to be filled with picturesque mountain vistas if the weather cooperated, and despite the gloomy overcast of the 7:00 am Orangeburg start, we were thrilled by the blue sunny skies all the way to Washington, Pennsylvania. The only glitch of the day was the kick-up of winds in West Virginia, resulting in a little Rock 'n Roll through the mountains at the day's end, and some white-knuckle co-pilot experiences. We encountered some early morning traffic snarls around Columbia, SC, thanks to construction on the beginning of I 77 but our consternation was short-lived as the delays meant that we totally missed rush hour in Charlotte, NC. 

Thank Heaven for little miracles, as the saying goes.

Day three's escapades were tempered by the potential for rush hour bedlam around Pittsburgh so we opted to make an early get-away in hopes of avoiding it, and we quite pleased with ourselves as we breezed through Pittsburgh's rolling hills, the turnpike to Erie, the throughway to Buffalo, before the border crossing at Lewiston. 

Grumble #3 ... sort of

Being a cadre of rule-followers, we were astutely aware of the re-entry rules of Canada's Border Patrol, so we were well armed with our declaration dollar amounts and how many cheap(er) bottles of Yankee booze we could bring with us. Three adults = three bottles, right? The lure of taking a risk of additional hootch was enticing, but we caved and played it safe. Our arrival at the crossing was a cumulative 30 sec, our very pleasant guard apparently not giving any (bleep)s about the rules. He didn't even ask about how much we spent!

Drat, Drat and Double Drat!

We made the final leg of the trip from Lewiston, NY, to Barrie without a hitch, and upon arrival at my mom's condo, we were greeted with a cloudless sky illuminating the still frozen surface of Kempenfelt Bay in true Canadian spring time beauty. Even though the LOOOONG trip is self-imposed, the combination of 24 hours of sitting behind the wheel, the restaurant food (Can you say Cracker Barrel multiple times?), sleeping in hotel beds, and the strain-filled vigil for crazy drivers who blatantly ignore speed limits and other's welfare takes its toll on us, resulting in a weary early-to-bed as the day's end approached. 

Now, if some very kind individual could please do something about that dagnabbit white crap falling from the skies today! THAT was not supposed to happen! How can I bike in that?

Yes, I know that it's Canada 

... and March 

... and climate change .

.. and normal'ish.

I don't have to like it!

The 1%'ers

I've thought long and hard about writing this post. 

I want to share my thoughts on life in southwest Florida, but I'm cognizant of it coming across the wrong way. Please take these words as, "You may not know but ..." and not, "Hey, look at me!"

The vacation routine in SW Florida, at least for me, includes many a sightseeing tour atop my Argon18 as I explore all that Naples and surrounding area offer for those that are interested. Interested might not be the best way to describe it since much of this area is only affordable to a small percentage of North America's population with high-end condo developments, gated communities, sprawling villas, and small castles aplenty, enough to boggle the mind of a lowly ex-public servant such as myself. I  find myself truly unable to fathom their level of wealth.

The main roads down here are filled by drivers who must be very busy "chasing the dream" since cycling on some of them is akin to taking one's life in one's hands as Maseratis, Bentleys, Ferraris, Maclarens, Mercedes, and the occasional Rolls wizz past me, by my estimation blatantly ignoring the posted speed limits. Heck, I've spied an SUV Rolls Royce the other day shopping at a consignment store, no less. Go figure! Perhaps, if I were to drive a baby blue convertible Bentley like this one that is parked daily near the tennis courts (a 400k vehicle), I too might feel the need to chase the sound barrier, but the chances of that are more astronomical than winning one of those crazy Powerball lotteries they have down here. 

A little "research" reveals that some of these cars cost more than my condo back at the beach!

The real estate market down here must make agents back home in Wasaga salivate with their multi-million dollar listings and Uber high-end finishes. I've discovered that there are some areas on the main roads around here that a drive-by results in a rubber-necking, mouth agape, forehead crinkled in sheer wonder kind of look, but the truly ridiculous builds require a turn off the beaten path, often down private developments with guard houses. I feel a lot less "touristy" atop the bike than in the RAV. If you've never seen neighbourhoods like these in real life, I'd wager that my very average photography skills will not do these monstrosities justice, and while I fully admit that there are some areas of Ontario that boast their own architectural monstrosities, for this bike-riding guy these are bordering on utter ridiculousness ... and they're landscaped to the hilt ... and not blanketed in a few cm of snow.

I have had conversations with some that I trust who have personal experience with employment in the US of A, and they swear that those with decent jobs ... I know, define decent ... make and keep more money than comparable jobs in Canada. While astutely aware that the discussion surrounding the factors at play that contribute to this are deep, detailed, and contentious, I'm positive that it's on a completely other level down here. The people that I have gotten to know don't seem like tycoons or like they come from "old" money, but when you can plop down 2 or 3 million for a second residence? 

I struggle to comprehend! 

My parents worked very hard throughout their lives to earn a comfortable living, meaning I admit that my brothers and I were afforded a privileged lifestyle which included purchasing a beautiful place in North Naple's Pelican Bay early on in the development of the area. They felt strongly that they wished to make the necessary sacrifices to afford their place, but if you account for the fact they bought 30+ years ago, the cost of ownership in PB has septupled during that time, meaning it's only feasible to a small percentage these days. Part of that is due to the real estate lunacy over the past 5 years, but another significant reason is the dwindling supply of units on the market. The PB development is presently building their final project on the only land left available, the entrance units listing for 2 million in pre-construction, and when it's done, there'll be bidding wars for places that come available, at least in my estimation.

2 million AMERICAN folks ... that's 2.84 million Canadian ... BEFORE finishing in out!

Through the enormous generosity of my mom, Joyce and I have enjoyed "playing house" in southwest Florida with all it has to offer, but the sad reality is that we can only ever hope to be visitors because ownership is completely impossible. Still, the visit is pretty gosh darned spectacular, and we are eternally grateful that my mom is so willing to tolerate us for long stretches. We've met some really wonderful people during our time here, some that are becoming friends, and we'll forever cherish the memories of visit!

It all comes to an end next week when we point the cars northward and return to our own "slice of heaven" in Wasaga Beach ... where we love it, BTW! 

Aaaand the fun continues!

Building on the gratitude expressed in my pervious post, the fun continued this week with the arrival of our daughter Maddison and hubby Chris! They too were able to finagle their way out of winter's icy grip for a week in the southwest Florida sunshine, so Porter's Taxi was called upon again to retrieve travellers from Fort Myer's Airport. They flew in later in the day so we combined the outing with some browsing at the Miromar Premium Outlets and a fancy-schmansy Costco dinner. 

Oh, we lead quite the life!

For all the times that we've been able to take advantage of my mom's generosity, we have never embarked on a trip to Fort Myers to peruse the Miromar Premium Outlets, so it was high time we treated ourselves, says we. While the stores there cover a wide assortment of labels, some of which we have been in favour of in the past, the title of the complex really doesn't cut it, or at least from our opinion. We browsed a number of the stores and contemplated pulling the trigger on a few offerings, in the end it was a single black tank from Under Armour riding shot gun on the way to the airport.

Being the BIG spenders that we are, we debated a number of possibilities we could grab for the kids to nibble on considering they were flying in so late in the day, but in the end we cheaped out and headed for Costco since it was on route to the airport. We've treated ourselves in the past to the famous Costco hot dog + soda, and despite enjoying it profusely, we were intrigued enough by the $9.99 full size pizza deal to give it a try, reasoning that we would have some slices left for the kids to enjoy. Once there, as it always seems to happen at Costco, we up-sold ourselves by adding a cheesy chicken bake and hot dog + soda so that we would expand the choices for the kids. 

The pie that we purchased had it's own area code! 

I mean this was one seriously large pizza! 

And it was most delicious, we might add!

To make up for our lack of retail support at the Premium Outlets, we decided that we had time to continue expressing our frugality by strolling through Marshall's and Beall's, when lo and behold, some deals literally jumped off their hangers into our arms! Listen, when you find decent quality gear already discounted plus the till gives you a further savings, AND you really like it ... CHA CHING!

Picking up the kids at RSW, making full use of the cell phone lot ... a brilliant little add-on, I might add ... the final assessment on the food choices was two big thumbs up, and the initial few minutes of the drive was made in munching silence. Of course, when Joyce has her Maddi in near proximity, the silence is always short lived! HaHaHa!

One sad note to share for this week, this area was beset by an invasion of RED tide, resulting in a beach front cock full of fish carcasses.

According to Florida Health (CLICK), red tide is caused by a naturally occurring microscopic alga (a plant-like microorganism) called Karenia brevis that produces a toxin that can affect the central nervous systems of fish, birds, and mammals. At high concentrations (called blooms), the organism may discolour the water red, light or dark green, or brown, and can last days, weeks, or months, also changing daily due to wind conditions and water currents. Onshore winds normally bring it near the shore and offshore winds drive it out to sea. A red tide bloom needs biology (the organisms), chemistry (natural or man-made nutrients for growth), and physics (concentrating and transport mechanisms). No single factor causes it, but it can irritate the skin and breathing of some with symptoms include coughing, sneezing, and teary eyes.

For most people, symptoms are temporary when red tide toxins are in the air. Wearing a particle filter mask may lessen the effects, but the general train of thought is to check the marine forecast. While most people can swim in red tide, it can cause skin irritation and burning eyes, so those with skin that is easily irritated are recommended to avoid red tide water. The irritation can often be mitigated by thoroughly washing off with fresh water.

With the calendar turning over from February to March, my mother's annual day of recognition for the world's welcome to life landed on "Hump Day" ... don't read into that! ... and she chose some shopping followed by a dinner at a FAV called Cheddar's. The meal was a rousing success, the bellies filled beyond comfortable, and the shopping netted my mom a couple of sought after items ... BINGO! I'm pleased to report that she felt the day was a rousing success!

The their flight home looming, Maddi + Chris felt the familiar pangs of sadness when something thrilling draws to a close and the return to normalcy hangs in the air. Super Mom Joyce has dearly loved her opportunity to spend time with her both of her beloved young ones and partners, leaving her feeling the words of Dr Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Life is indeed GOOD!