Billy Joel had it right!

Waaaay back in 1977, A young crooner released a single called, "Only the good die young" and it instantly hit the charts with a bullet. That crooner was Billy Joel and he most assuredly got it right! In what is turning out to be a really crappy month, I got the news that a good friend had not won her personal battle with the cursed scourge named Cancer.

Kelly Dunham-Buchanan was the older sister of Marnie Buchanan, a dear friend for over 25 years. The basketball community in Ontario is a lot smaller than you might think so it made perfect sense that if my relationship with Marnie became profound, then a relationship with Kelly was, as the French say, a fait accompli. The Buchanan sisters are tight, that is obvious to all who ever cross paths with either or both, and without sound like a cliche, they are great human beings. They are loving, compassionate, generous, upbeat, passionate, caring, and family-first in attitude. When Kelly passed, I know it kicked Marnie straight in the teeth and likely felt like a large portion of her soul was ripped away. Marnie and I have a special kind of friendship with a foundation built from our mutual love of coaching but that has intensified over the years, to the point where we are a phone call away for each other's needs, should it be required. That's not something specially reserved for me though, because Marnie has TONS of those types of friendships ... It's the way she's wired ... just like her older sister.

Marnie and I first met through Basketball Ontario, when we both were involved in the BDP-MDP-JDP stream of development programs. She was from "The Point" ... the Sarnie area if you're not familiar with that geographical reference ... where the Buchanan sisters were a force to be reckoned with in their youth. Following outstanding high school success, they both had careers in the NCAA, then followed that into the natural segue of coaching. During those early years, I was aware that Marnie had an older sister who was making waves in the OCAA, but we had only met in passing. When I finally saw the light and was accepted by Dave Grace to join the passion at Olympia Sports Camp, Kelly and I found our mutual love of youth sports was more than bridge enough to build a friendship. Those years were one laugh after another. If you have been blessed with knowing the Buchanan sisters, you will be astutely aware that they laugh a lot and LOUDLY, an infectious sound that turns the corners of your mouth up and shakes your midsection. It was during those years that I became aware of the nurturing soul that she was, watching her interact with her children Allie and Mitch.

Over the years that I was blessed to know Marnie and Kelly, I drifted away from Olympia, not because there was something wrong with the experience, but rather, I replaced basketball with rugby and coaching Team Ontario did not allow me to be flexible enough to continue at Olympia. Social Media having been born during that time in history, I was able to continue to be friends with Kelly and follow the various escapades of her family and professional life. Curiously, I only met her husband Doug a handful of times, and I doubt that he would even recognize me if we were walking in opposite directions down the street, but by all accounts, he was a great guy and loved Kelly dearly.

Such was the conundrum of Kelly ...
She was the consummate mother and partner with many knowing her as that;
She was a living legend in Hamilton thanks to her tireless efforts with Mohawk College and McMaster University and many knew her through that;
She was a pillar in the basketball community and A LOT of people knew her through that;
She was a great friend and sincerely wanted to know that you were good and life was fine ... that's how I knew her ... and I'm blessed by that.

Unfortunately, we humans are cruddy at telling those we care for EXACTLY how much they mean to us while they are alive. Building off Billy Joel's lyrics, when the good ones leave us far too early, there is a hew and cry that resounds around the chasm left, an outpouring of grief for both the loss and the lost opportunity.

Kelly was a wonderful person.
My life was better with her my friend.
She will be missed by a vast number of people.
That's the way she was wired.