Holidays 2020

Christmas 2020 has come and gone leaving behind it a wide swath of feelings and emotions. Being strongly encouraged to socially isolate during a time of year that has been hard-wired to practice generosity, gratitude, appreciation, inclusion and love with those that matter the most in your life is counter-intuitive, annoying, and mildly depressing. 

I come from a larger than normal sized family, by today's standards. As I have written in the past, I have three brothers, and three of our four have two children who are now adults, or nearly so. When my immediate family gathers for special occasions, and the unmarried ones bring their significant others, it makes for quite the hoard sitting round an obviously large table, overflowing with food. If you look at a photo of our hoard, you'll immediately notice that, in general, we've never accidentally eaten anything ... I like to call us "big boned". 

It goes without saying that the Holidays of 2020 were like that new kid in class who people aren't sure about as we nervously search the floorboards whether or not to engage in conversation. It's not that we shun him/her, but we're not sure how we feel about allowing him/her into our bubble. Even with technology like Zoom and Facetime trying its best to lend a hand, I still felt a large chasm in the experience. It's often said, but as social animals, humans crave the face-to-face interactions above almost anything else, its absences leaving a vast emptiness when unfulfilled. 

We felt truly blessed this holiday to share some quality time with both of our children. With Maddi and Chris' wedding in full planning mode, we knew that we would have to share them with Chris' parents, so social distancing was always in our thoughts. Keaton made the effort for a long-ish visit, something that his work doesn't allow for very often, and we enjoyed some very satisfying catch-up time. It goes without saying that each parent yearns to ensure that their now-adult children are fairing well, feeling good, and coping with life's ups and downs. Being able to engage our kids, have them regale their experiences out from under the umbrella of the Bank of Mom/Dad, and flesh out some pretty beefy topics of discussion over some drinks or treats is really what it's all about. At least at our age, it is.

Both of our mother's have been blessed with a long life meaning this pandemic has been a never ending stream of repetitive internal questions about where we've been, who we've come in close contact with, and whether or not we're safe to visit. We were always balancing the positives and negatives.

Joyce's mom's situation is a little more gut wrenching since she lives in a Senior's building, and factoring in face-to-face visits has potentially greater reach if we miscalculate. Keeping in mind her situation, and weighing the consequences, we decided it prudent to make the trip and her reaction was all the feedback needed. She was ear to ear smiles and thanked us repeatedly for making the trip. She was going to share a meal on Christmas Day with some of her friends who also live in the building so we were pretty confident that loneliness wouldn't creep its way into her thoughts. For that, we are eternally grateful.

My mother is in our social bubble so we feel very comfortable with the recommended guidelines to enjoy face-to-face visits. She is pretty gosh darned independent and quick to attest to a good state of comfort, but I garner a visceral sense of ease when we share some socially distanced time together. Even though we were relegated to "Facetiming" on Christmas Day, it was extremely strange to be barred from our long standing tradition of a Christmas hug and kiss. 

I just keep repeating the mantra that sacrificing normality this holiday should make future normal ones possible, when we can gather our loved ones around for some much missed hugs and kisses. I hope that your situation was as positive as possible, and that you came away with a little bit of satisfaction. If we can stay the course, we should be able to tunnel our way out of this mess.

My Sincerest well wishes for the Holiday Season and my prayers for continued health as we collectively hope for a vastly improved year in 2021.