Encore of to Hell with the bell!

I'm not going to try and pull the wool over anyone's eyes with semi-truths justifying retirement's benefits, but I will tell all who would choose to listen that one of the greatest rewards of stepping out of the educational hamster wheel is that euphoric feeling of freedom that comes with the realization that you're not rushing off to class on the school year's first day, and you're not at the beckon call of the bell. For those who have banished all high school memories to the dusty waste bins of their brains, the bells or e-buzzers are the bane of every teacher's existence, and there's a resolute satisfaction in saying, "To Hell with the Bell!"

If you're either not yet retired, or generally envious of teachers and their "gold-plated" pensions, now would be a good time to hit the BACK button on your browser. You won't like what I've written below. 

However, if you're up for some smiles and giggles, read on.

My great friend Ron Andrews invited me to celebrate my first day of never-school last year (2020) at his cottage on Kushog Lake, and together with dear friends Sue, Fiona and Andy, we sabred the champagne, feasted on breakfast's best delights, golfed in the drizzle, toasted each other's freedom, and generally snubbed our noses at full time employment. In the immortal words of Julia Von Trapp, "... Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good ..." because I was selected for the team again this year!

The main difference between this and last was the nearly 4 hour drive from Guelph to Kushog Lake. I felt a little sad to leave Joyce behind, augmented by the fact that we are now a one-car family meaning she would be stranded at the condo for three days. Pointing north on Labour Day Monday, I was empathetic for the frustration of the cars facing south that were bumper to bumper all the way up the #400 and #11, but buoyed by the impending celebrations, my smile didn't fade in the least. I made a quick pit stop at Maddi's future in-law's cottage (the wedding is in 2 weeks ... yikes!) on Eagle Lake prior to the trip up #35, making me fashionably late.

Joining the party were two of Ron's buddies from his Mac years, Robbie and Lisa, both receiving their workplace pardons last June and biting at the bit to send heavenward their resounding yawp of "The Hell with the Bell!" I had met Robbie previously on a number of occasions, mostly thanks to rugby, but in the truest sense of "six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon", Robbie turned out to be one of the FAV teachers at Oshawa's O'Neill HS for Callum Cove, the younger brother of Maddi's fiancee Chris. This was my first wonderful experience with Lisa, who it turned out was extremely personable and blessed with a tremendous sense of humour, regularly leaving us all in fits of giggles. 

The pre-celebration started quickly with my arrival at Chez Ronaldo. Some quick catch-up over drinks on the best dock on Kushog Lake were interrupted by the sounds of the Andy + Fiona's boat zooming up the lake to start the shindigs proper, followed by some warm greetings, introductions, and handshakes. It certainly did not take long to become comfortable with the interesting assortment of recently retired educational professionals, and the stories of Mac days were soon being rehashed, prompting wave after wave of belly laughs. Although I was the "Sassinak", to coin a Scottish colloquialism, I quickly felt at ease with the wide array of engaging personalities. 

Snacks and drinks on the dock in a true Muskoka manner were soon replaced with a cottage sauna / lake dip that took us later into the early evening, with the setting sun signalling the adjournment to the cottage for an amazing meal compliments of Ron and Uber-foodie wife Cathy. Again, buckets of chirps, quips, one-liners and sarcastic retorts were the order of the day as we transitioned from the kitchen to great room for a sidesplitting game of Catch Phrase as the curtain closer before the other four had to head back down Kushog for the night.

True to my habitual consistency, my eyes arose with the peeking sun, and a deck side coffee in the misty tranquility only Muskoka can deliver was accompanied by both a deep sigh of contentment and a wide smile of appreciation. Cathy, disheartened by being forced to head out very early in the day because she was still working, made her goodbyes, but Sue's early morning arrival signalled that the day's activities were afoot! She and I had been assigned the breakfast duty, and as the others arrived again from down the lake, the smells of deliciousness were enough to stimulate anyone's saliva glands. The menu offered artisan french toast, Canadian bacon, banana + zucchini loafs, and fresh fruit. The highlight was the same as last year as newly retired Rob and Lisa sabred the champagne for the Mimosas that were raised in a raucous proclamation of freedom that even William Wallace would envy. 

Our morning cravings satisfied, the scheduled event of the midday was a round of golf at Minden's Gull River GC, formerly known as Beaverbrook. One of the quaint peculiarities of Chez Ronaldo is that it is water access only, so once our bodies were cleansed with a leap into Kushog and adorned with appropriate golf wear, we hopped into the "tinnie" to get to the car parking. At this time, Gull River only offers 9 holes, but it most assuredly a challenging layout, especially for someone like me who only had 3 nines notched in his putter this summer. To add to the difficulty, I had to replace my driver after it exploded earlier in the summer, so the swing from the first tee block was a maiden effort that I am proud to say sailed straight and true down the right side of the fairway. 

"How in the hell?" I said as I scratched my noggin.

I was cautiously nervous rounding the 4th hole green as I had posted 3 pars and bogey, but reality set in with a series of golf bloopers that would make even the grumpiest of souls giggle. The silver lining, because there's always one if you choose to look for it, was that with each miss hit, I emerged from the bushes with an extra 3 or 4 balls. However, the comedic highlight was not mine to claim, because Andy hit a drive on the par 3 seventh that screamed along the grass top, struck the ladies tee block, careened straight up maybe 25 m before drifting over the trees lining the fairway. Once we picked ourselves up, brushed off the grass from rolling on the ground, we jointly agreed that it was a sight we'd never seen before. In the end, I uglied it out to a finishing 50 thanks largely to a number of thundering tee shots that sailed deep into OB.

The afternoon's hours were spent on Andy and Fiona's dockside Muskoka chairs, hands full of adult beverages and incredible snacks thanks to Lisa, regaling tails of classrooms long passed that were amazingly similar in nature, given that we all taught in different schools. Unfortunately, the impending storm chased us inside prematurely, but we were treated to a wondrous Caesar and steak meal thanks to our hosts Andy and Fiona, complete with assistance from Robbie and Lisa. A rabble-rousing game of "Sevens", complete with quips and chirps hurled in all directions thanks to our wine-loosened tongues, capped off the night as the rainstorm rattled the windows. 

The only downside of the day was the rain-spattered boat ride back to Ron's cottage, but we were at least spared a soaking thanks to some forethought and the raincoats that were brought down the lake with us. Finally hitting the pillow, I sent a silent pray to whatever powers that be with my thanks and appreciation for blessing my life so tremendously.

The 2021 To Hell with the Bell came to a close the next morning with a quick breakfast of the previous day's left overs, a warm embrace and fond farewell. The long trip home from Kushog to Guelph was delightfully uneventful and I was greeted with one of Joyce's great big kisses upon my arrival.

As my cousin Tim Burtch so often quips, "Life is Good!"