Thoughts from a meandering mind after 29 years in education.
Wednesday 29 November 2023
Just some thoughts ...
It's been a super busy stretch lately with supply teaching, refereeing, travelling, and just simple living, but there have also been ample opportunities to sit a ponder the 'state of the union', as it were. Thanks to a steady stream of thought-starters from social media, I have entertained my grey matter with a wide variety of subjects, each an impetus to take stock in where I am, and where I'm hoping to go.
As I travel slowly down my path of Life, it's inevitable that I'll encounter bumps, potholes, detours, and closures that prompt a change in mindset ... or attitude ... or beliefs ... that will alter the course by influencing the choices made thanks to each of the aforementioned obstacles.
The Slow Goodbye They say, "A mind is terrible thing to waste", but I'll go on the record that I hold a different meaning of the word waste from others because I have, rather unfortunately, had some experience with dementia in its various forms. As the sparkles of a personality slowly dim, the things that made them special also slowly wither, and I wonder out loud if the consciousness also fades. That notion would certainly be preferable to me because if the biological machine fails and the consciousness is trapped inside, that would be a purgatory that scares the bejeezus out of me.
My aunt Merle, my mother's sister, eventually succumbed to vascular dementia over more than a decade of slow steady decline in her short term memory and accompanying decreasing cognitive function. Merle had a quick wit, a twinkle in her eye, and a well developed sense of sarcasm, making her a pretty awesome aunt IMHO. I spent a significant amount of time with her growing up because as sisters who had 7 kids between them, my mom and my aunt chose the 'divide and conquer' route. It was certainly depressing to watch her twinkle slowly lose its shine.
One of my parent's best friends are Don and Bev Pringle. Don and my dad met in university when they were in Med School at Queen's. They often came to visit us in Barrie and we visited them at their farm in Hatley, a quiet hamlet in the eastern townships of Quebec. While this may seem fairly ordinary, you have to also know that Don and Bev moved to Mississippi in the 1970's so this was a friendship that was forged over a distance. Even after my dad's passing, they would come up from the farm when they were visiting their Canadian paradise during the summer, and I personally always loved to spend some time with them, catch up with the news of their two boys Scott and Steve. Don was always such a pleasant guy to chat with!
Unfortunately, Don has been afflicted with Alzheimer's, his slow goodbye taking a toll on Bev and the family, eventually leading to the decision to opt for around the clock care. While they aren't always front and center in my thoughts, one of Bev's recent social media posts hit a little too close to the bullseye, and it got me thinking about how we really still don't understand the human brain and how it makes us who we are. This commercial might just make the 2023 top 3 list ... get yourself some tissues if you choose to watch this!
You, Me, and the Big C: Another of Life's challenges so many of us are forced to deal with is our own mortality, or the mortality of those who we feel have had a profound influence on who we have become. It will come as no surprise that these days our sense of mortality is impacted by cancer, and I've chosen to write about this on a number of occasions in past pieces.
Hitting way too close to home are the journeys that my father and my brother Rob have taken since their first diagnoses, and while a ominous sense of impending doom accompanies the discovery of mutated cells growing unchecked inside a body, our family has come to realize that it is the treatment that irrevocably changes one's quality of life by throwing a wrench into the gears of 'normal' day to day. In my father's case, the treatment proved ineffective, and we were burdened with the reality of watching the end play out before us, one horrible day at a time. In my brother's case, while the treatments achieved the anticipated goal, they left behind a train wreck of implications that continue to this day, a year and a bit later. The notion that cancer treatments are designed to kill everything, often including the patient, is a stark reality for our family, leaving both physical and chemical impairments that are ultimately maddeningly frustrating and depressing.
While I can use up all of my fingers and toes counting off the close friends and acquaintances that have affected by cancer, one of the more recent ones is an old Queen's Football team mate Jeff Kyle. Although he's a couple of years older than me, we forged a tight friendship through our escapades both on and off Richardson Field, a bond that has endured some 40 years since we parted ways to sow our Life's oats after graduation. Over a year ago, Jeff and his family got the shocking news of a Glioblastoma tumour growth that resulted in some impairments prompting medical advice. Two brain surgeries, a host of both radiation and chemo treatments, and a lot of heartache later, and Jeff has become the epitome of his adopted mantra #getbusyliving with a steeled determination and 'never say quit' attitude.
Very recently, a small group of our band of brothers were able to support Jeff as he was recognized by the Ottawa Senators at a recent home game for the 20+ years he invested as VP of Marketing on their #hockeyfightscancer night. Click the link for the Twitter feed and video about Jeff. To say that I am in awe of Jeff's courage in the face of a tremendously difficult journey would be the grossest understatement of the decade!
In case you can't get the link to work, or you just don't do Twitter, you'll simply have to take my word that Jeff is one seriously amazing guy, and our entire team is sending as much positive energy his way as we can muster. I am continually astonished by the love, support, and camaraderie that our group shows each other as we collectively navigate the bumps in Life's road. We lost a few of our mates along the way; we been there for the UPs and the DOWNs of carving out a place in this world; we make a concerted effort to get together regularly and recharge our friendship's batteries.
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