We all need something to laugh at!

I recently dug out the ol' six-string and see what I could remember after almost 35 years. Sadly, the strings were rotten and that was that. It got me thinking about the old days when I used to enjoy a pint or three during a JAM sesh on the deck in university. I could see if Amazon has some I can get as I don't imagine good ol' Music Pro downtown has been deemed an essential service. Better still, I could get a hold of fellow Georgian coach, Josh "J-Mo" Morgan, who also happens to be the Uber talented frontman for the group Barriers. As a testament to the friend that he is, Josh was able to help a buddy out and replaced my strings for me ... with all social distancing protocols observed ... so I could revisit those days. I will, of course, warn my neighbours before I take to my deck during this pandemic ... It'll be a while before my fingers are ready for any sustained playing.

In light of the anxiety and stress that so many are feeling right now, I thought that I would make an attempt at turning up the corners of corners of some mouths. Please don't be quoting copyright violations to me ... I'm only so intelligent and can't do this solely on my own ... because I was inspired by the Covid 19 Rhapsody and My Corona floating around Social Media. You'll be thankful that I chose to include lyrics but no audio, mostly because I can't play these songs yet.

My Many Weeks of Infection (Think 12 Days of Christmas)
On the 1st week of Covid, our government said to we,
It's NOT here in Canada,
AND we'll just wait and see.

On the 2nd week of Covid, our government said to we,
You SHOULD Social Distance,
It's BARELY here in Canada,
BUT we should wait and see.

On the 3rd week of Covid, our government said to we,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST social distance,
It's REALLY here in Canada,
NOW we have to wait and see.

On the 4th week of Covid, our government said to we,
You NEED to stay the hell at home,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST Social Distance,
It's GROWING here in Canada,
So we'll SHUT DOWN and see.

On the 5th week of Covid, our government said to we,
AMERICA IS BLOWING UP!

You NEED to stay the hell at home,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST social distance,
It's GROWING here in Canada,
So we'll HOLD ON and see."

Thank God I'm a Cana'jun (Think Thank God I'm a Country Boy)
Well life in isolation is really kinda WHACK,
Too much for a old northern boy like me to hack,
I'm Early to rise then early in the sack,
But thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Well the retired kinda life really does me no harm,
Staying in my little home, keepin' kind warm,
Soapy hands and sanitizer are all the frickin' norm,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

When DoFo and Trudeau were elected, don't ya know,
This old northern boy thought, "Well, that really blows!",
Didn't like either of 'em and their "Dog and Pony Show",
But thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Now I gotta say somethin', I really, really should,
Through all of this, they've both been kinda good,
So I'll "eat crow" and admit they've done what they could,
So thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Should have switched our stocks to diamonds n' jewells,
But we'll make out better than them money hungry fools,
We'll just hunker down, 'cause the long haul's the rule,
And thank God I'm Cana'jun.

Yeah, Americans are thinkin' that's a mighty keen,
Cana'juns and our health care, if ya know what I mean,
We'll ride out this virus like nobody's seen,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

If I was a Super Neighbour (Think If I had a Million Dollars)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo ... If I was a super neighbour)
I would buy you a bubble (Echo)
And if I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd buy you sanitizer for your hands ... Maybe Lysol and some TP
And if I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd share my Netflix ... Maybe some internet or some pie

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour ... A bunch of groceries I would share
If I was a super neighbour ... Bake some fresh bread, if I dare
If I was a super neighbour ... Somehow fill up your refrigerator
I could make cookies or some cake ...
Or some milk or some eggs or some fruit ...
Or some pre-wrapped sausages and things, hmmm

If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd visit you every day ... but at the end of the driveway
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd watch your kids play in your yard ... let you a nap during the day
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd post all sorts of signs ... Hearts for nurses and doctors

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour, I would walk for you to the store
If I was a super neighbour, so you could stay quarantined for sure
If I was a super neighbour, you wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner ...
Unless you really want Kraft dinner ...
And some really cool Ketchups ...
Like super fancy Dijon Ketchup ...

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
That'd be great!

To quote Elvis, "Thank you, thank you very much."
Please, No ovations ... it's embarrassing.