Remembering

Father's Day 2023 has come and passed, leaving thousands of photos and sentiments as the evidence of a busy day expressing gratitude and love to those that sired us. Some were present to receive the hugs, gifts, and treats; some fondly remembered for all they did while living their lives amongst us. Granted, there will be children that see the day filled sadness or sorrow, prompted by regrets spurned from their continuing grief, dealing with their loss in a personal way and timeline. 

It's an odd holiday, if I'm honest.

When ranked by popular opinion, the overwhelming favourite is logically different dependent on the region the survey is given. Give it in North America, the number one holiday is Christmas with its gatherings, feasts, libations, and gifts, surprisingly popular in a wide variety of regions in the world, even those dominated by non-christian faiths. Give it in other parts, you'll find New Years topping the list ... maybe two billion Chinese can't be that far wrong!

A quick Internet search reveals a plethora of sites with lists with one source (CLICK) that offers a chart that includes percentages of respondents, and as one scans down it you pass Christmas, Canada Day, Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving, and Victoria Day on your way to Father's day, ranking a curious #19 at 0.4%, barely outpacing St George's day, Discovery Day, and Islander Day. 

Be that as it may, it's still filled to the brim with heartfelt well wishes offered in appreciation and recognition of the sacrifices and guidance of a long-passed youth. 

You never know how much time you get with your loved ones, but the harsh reality is exactly as the saying goes, "Nobody gets out alive!" so it's forgivable to take parental love and generosity for granted until it's too late. Like so many, I'm reminded of my father each and every time I look in the mirror, his hooked nose, lantern jaw, dimpled cheeks and twinkling eyes staring back at me. Yes, there's portions of my mother too, but truth be told, it's readily evident which DNA expressed their dominance. 

My own father passed frustratingly young, succumbing to a cancer of unknown origins, even after a post-mortem. Known simply as 'Doc' to the hundreds of thousands in the greater Barrie area, a moniker that reflected being the solo orthopedic surgeon at RVH for years, he emulated the man that I wished to become. When I reminisce about childhood events, the point where additional orthopods came to town is marked by his more regular presence in our family happenings. What many don't know about growing up in a doctor's family is the willing sacrifice of his family for yours as he lived up to his Hippocratic oath, resulting in being regularly absent or arriving late for events of significance. As the time passed, bringing with it an enhanced maturity, it gifted me the ability to understand his sacrifices and grew my gratitude that he was able to balance it all. 

We all have regrets. 

For me, it was not doing as thorough a job of showing him that I understood why things happened that way they did, and visibly thanking him for doing it. Yes, I feel that I expressed my appreciation for all those moments that were jointly just ours, and as I grew emotionally, I was able to openly show him my love, but I look back now, almost 17 years since he passed, and I feel strongly that I could have done a little bit more. I regret that he was robbed of the opportunity to experience his family in it's full glory, his four boys growing their own versions following the recipe so willingly shared by he and my mom. I regret that he was robbed of seeing my own children as they transitioned through adolescence, the character-building teen years, discovering adulthood's gifts by finding a partner to walk Life's paths with ... he'd have loved Maddi's Boo Chris and KP's Jess.

I love you dad, and I thank you for the million examples of generosity and love you showed me.

I'm proud to be your son.

I hope that you got to enjoy a happy Father's Day, whatever it looks like up there.