What a day!

If we're friends on social media, you'll already be aware that Joyce and I celebrated our 33rd anniversary last weekend. It's truly mind boggling that she's put up with all of my passions, faults, and shenanigans over the 37 years we've 'been a thing', but loves me she does, and the feeling is unquestionably reciprocal. It's a cheesy thing to say, but we truly do love each other more with every passing year, and now that the kids have their own partners and lives, we spend a large amount of each day's minutes wallowing in that affection.

We're generally not much for making plans for birthdays and anniversaries, but our daughter Maddi covertly unhatched a plan to have our nuclear family (our kids + spousal units) make the trek to the Big Smoke for Shrek: The Musical at the Princess of Wales theatre, and when one makes the trip from northwest Simcoe to Toronto, it makes perfect sense to do a dinner as well. She broached the subject, organized the family, bought the tickets, and even made the dinner reservation! 

Kinda makes your parental pride swell a bit, eh?

The least we could do for all of her work was to offer to drive and pay, and with a quick pit stop in New Lowell to pick she and Chris up, we set the arrow due south with the plan to use the TTC to make the journey since this old curmudgeon doesn't drive downtown anymore, if he has the choice. As luck would have it, the weather front that stormed (no pun intended) across Ontario that day caused a host of traffic woes on the 400, prompting a back roads course for us. Although we had planned ample time to arrive at our reservation in the theatre district, the traffic woes combined with the back road km's meant that we arrived a few minutes later than we wished. Catching a TTC train went off without a hitch and we settled into our seats chit chatting about the upcoming performance.

Wouldn't you know it, the weather was wrecking havoc with the TTC as well, and we slowed to a snail's pace. Embracing the adage that one should only fret about things within one's control, we shrugged our shoulders all the way to St Andrews station, arriving a few minutes after 5:00, and chalked it up to being 'fashionable'. HaHa!

Upon entering the Elephant and Castle and finding KP and fiancee Jess who had already arrived, the smiles, hugs, and kisses were interrupted when KP said, "I think that our old dentist is around the corner". A quick peek revealed the Cheshire smile of the infamous Johnny Cool (his actual name), his dad Dr Kevin Cool, and Johnny's brother and former student, Dr Derrick Cool plus family. Yep, you read that right, their family has 3 Dr Cools ... Dentist Kevin and Medical dynamic duo of Derrick and wife Aurelia ... topped off with Uncle Johnny Cool! What a treat it was to catch up since Kevin, wife Linda, and Johnny had moved away from Barrie a number of years ago to London, ON, to be closer to Derrick, Aurelia, and their two cherubic children.

Following the smiles, hugs, and reminiscing, we enjoyed some scrumptious British inspired fare before making our way to the POW theatre for the main event.

So far so good.

Having spent the majority of the trip down discussing how the producer was going to pull off the jump from an animated movie to the live stage, we posed a number of potential issues that were quickly laid to rest as the musical played out before us. In the end, it was exactly how one would expect, being cute, humourous, full of songs, and an over all wonderful way to spend a Saturday night. Were there some criticisms of this little bit or that? Sure, but our group came away with rave reviews for the sheer entertainment value.

The show started 30 minutes late, then proceeded to run 3 hours, so we were in a bit surprised by the late hour as we made our way back to the TTC, with what seemed to be half of Toronto alongside of us. Boarding our train we were shocked to encounter a young man passed out in an awkward position on the floor of the train. It's one thing to see such a scene on a show or movie, but it's quite unsettling to be faced with it live and up front. As the train filled, the passengers gave a wide berth to the young man for fear of the unknown, but it was easy to see that he was still breathing, quashing the worst possible scenario. The word quickly spread that the TTC officials were informed and on their way, but as they arrived one here, two more there, addressing the issue by unsuccessfully attempting to wake him, the murmur of the crowd slowly rose as discussions about what was transpiring in front of us plus the potential for delay became the elephant in the room ... or car.

So much for the quick trip home! Our kid's fur babies were going to have to cross their legs!

Twenty-five minutes and two shots of Narcan later, the young man was roused enough to accompany the EMTs and relocate to the platform, allowing the TTC to press the GO button again, much to the relief of thousands since a stopped train northbound meant that all of the trains in both directions had been put into suspended animation. 

Fortunately, the remainder of the day's events transpired as one would expect, we got Maddi and Chris home to their unsoiled but very anxious Remi, and we finally laid our heads on our pillows at a God awful 1:30 am. A text from KP and Jess confirmed that they had arrived safely back in Guelph and they too had no doggie do's to deal with. 

Yay!

Many, many thanks to Maddi for all of the time and effort she put into making our 33rd a memorable affair. We so rarely get the chance to sit a visit as a family and the opportunity was both uplifting and satisfying.

Remembering Jen

 

Warning: This piece might rub some the wrong way, perhaps feeling it doesn't belong on social media or it's not my place to comment, but my intention is 100% to celebrate a remarkable woman.

I struggled internally with writing this piece, mostly out of respect to a good friend, fellow coach, and former colleague, Burke Erwin, but in the end, I decided to focus on a nagging regret that was born of my experience.

Burke recently endured a husband's worst nightmare when the love of his life encountered a medical emergency that all of society's present knowledge and technology was unsuccessful in abating, his best friend and life mate passing at a tragically young age. To say that he was crushed would be the largest understatement in history, but his pathway to healing was assisted when he was surrounded by his grieving daughters, the shattered in-laws, and a hoard of supportive, sympathetic friends at Jen's astounding Celebration of Life. Joyce and I went mostly out of respect for our friendship with him, but also to show our support to his daughters whom I grew to know in a teacher-student role at Barrie North. 

We knew Burke's wife Jen as acquaintances, so not well but enough to be thoroughly impressed by the words used to express the anguish so many were dealing with. We genuinely believe that we missed out on a potentially profound experience in knowing her well. 

The COL was held at a local microbrewery called Quayles, on the 12th line of Oro-Medonte, just south of Mount St Louis Rd. To say that we came away gobsmacked by the outpouring of sympathies by an overwhelming number of friends and loved ones doesn't even begin the cut it. The cross section of attendees covered a wide assortment from all walks of Burke's life as a respected teacher, beloved coach, respected musician, and all around great guy. And that's without acknowledging the incredible circle of friends Jen made on her own! Colleagues from education, present and former athletes, fellow musicians and band mates, and friends garnered through what was obviously a life well lived, accounted for literally hundreds of supporters.

Shout out to Quayles for donating their beautiful grounds to host Jen's COL.

I have felt moved by other COL's that I have attended, but this one reached way down deep, and I feel strongly that I should embrace a change in my day to day attitude toward those in my life that I value. While it was Jen's COL that was the lynchpin, it comes on the heels of the one year anniversary of my own brother's passing that I wager has prompted the impetus to "do better" because it occurred to me that we all have a tendency to wait until someone is gone before we express how much they mean to us. I am unsure of why this is the case, but as the saying goes, "It is what it is" and I'll choose to embrace the change I feel is needed.

This sense of regret was echoed in some of the most moving eulogies I've heard in some time.

I will take the next few weeks to make sure I communicate with my loved ones the value they hold for their place in my life, how much I appreciate their love and support, how good they make me feel, in an attempt to ensure that what I might say or write at a COL is received WELL before it usually happens.

I will consider this little change as my token of respect for the obvious gem of a person that Jen was, and I would encourage any one who reads this to endeavour to make the same change.

Thanks for reading this to the end.
RIP Jen Erwin. (obituary)

The Rules!

Regular readers of my Blog will already be keenly aware that there's lots in this world that I find amusing, enriching, or enlightening, and while a lot of my writing ideas are born out of what others have posted on social media for uplifting my happiness, a lot of those ideas prompt some introspective contemplation that leads directly to posting my thoughts for others to glance at. While some pieces of late have been on the heavier side, this one is meant for pure enjoyment, the goal to lift the corners of your mouth, and depending on your gender, spur an eye roll or two.

The first list is not my own creation, but I did struggle to find someone I could attribute the brilliance to because while the ideas were there, the words were different. I did find one reference that matched 99% of this message (CLICK) so I'm going to choose to give the Wiser's clap to James West. 

You sir, have a devilishly glorious mind and your writing made me giggle significantly.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side, but here are the rules from the male side.

(Please note… these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!)
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
* Sex,
* Sport,
* Cars,
* Computers
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you to all the women in my life for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that.

It’s like camping.

Please be assured that despite the sideways look I got from my bestie when she read Mr West's thoughts, I am alive, well, unscathed, and do not fear being smothered by a pillow in the near future.

Of course, the obvious sentiment to all of this is the old adage, "rules were meant to be broken", but it got me pondering if there existed a list that was more universal in its appeal, something that would transcend the changing tide of what it means to be a man in today's society because Lord knows, it ain't the same as my formative years! Having crossed the threshold of the 60's recently, I am firmly of the belief that there's truth in the following list, but you might get a very different answer from my 20 something son. 

One gentleman, Faisal Sayyed (CLICK), offers the following list, and I have to admit that I really like both the tone and limitations of it. 

1. Never shake a hand sitting down.
2. Protect who is behind you, and respect who is beside you.
3. Never insult the cooking when you are the guest.
4. Never eat the last piece of something you didn't buy.
5. Never make the first offer in a negotiation.
6. Don't take credit for work you didn't do.
7. Don't blame, and give credit when due.
8. If you are not invited, don't ask to go.
9. Always aim for the head.
10. Don't beg for a relationship.
11. Dress well no matter what the occasion.
12. Always carry cash.
13. Listen, nod, and most of all make eye contact.
14. Show restraint in expressing anger, no matter what. Being angry is a waste of energy.
15. Whether it's dinner, drinks, or both, avoid placing your phone on the dinner table.
16. Never pose with alcohol.
17. Proper grammar will get you far in life. Leave the foul language for the less educated.
18. Ask more than you answer.
19. You can tell a great deal about a person by their handshake, so make your strong and firm.
20. Speak honestly. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

If you're at all like me, whatever you take away from reading these ideas will make for brightening your day, and I thank you for reading.

Remembering Don

One of the neater things that resulted directly from working at Barrie Central are the "Old Fart" bi-weekly meetings at McReilly's Irish Pub in downtown Barrie, a regular sharing of what has transpired, what caused some contemplation, or what stirred the pot a little. The stories are almost always punctuated with laughter, and the banter is consistently witty.

One of the quickest, sharpest minds belonged to Don Lillow, former head of science at ol' BCC, his quips delivered with a mischievous grin. I say that in the past tense because through a stroke of incredibly bad fortune, Don's health turned for the worse, leading ultimately to his passing away at the beginning of the summer. It's been a rough stretch for the Lillow clan with Don's beloved bride Betty passing in early June.

Based on the avalanche of sympathies with Don's obituary hitting the Internet, both he and Betty were popular teachers who impacted generations of Central students. 

Don was infamous for playing practical jokes on his friends. Armed with a bountiful amount of science knowledge, his pranks were often augmented by some harmless pyrotechnics or audiotechnics. While the bulk of his devilish nature was reserved for his colleagues, his students were occasionally the target, usually a reciprocation for some grief they gave him. One of his favourites, if my memory serves me well, was Ammonium Triphosphate, a clear liquid that becomes unstable when dried, meaning physical pressure like heavy steps or sitting down onto a chair results in a shockingly loud bang. I'm sure you can imagine the result of a targeted student sitting quickly into their desk only to be startled by 4 bangs not unlike a series of firecrackers.

Having recently reached his 81st birthday, Don had been retired for a sizeable length of time, and was a regular at the previously mentioned meetings, kind of the Frank Sinatra of the BCC 'Brat Pack'. 

The last meeting we had was dedicated to remembering Don, and reacquainting ourselves with the plethora of stories centered around Don's influence. While no laws or policies were broken during any of those memory-makers, many are not really something that should be put out there into cyberspace, but suffice it to say that there are some duzers! 

A young gentleman named Tyson tends the bar at McReilly's, and he is regularly in charge of servicing our thirst. He's a likeable, pleasant, quick-with-a-smile type of guy. At the end of our time on that particular day, we pulled out our wallets to pay for the night's libations, only to be greeted by his double palmed resistance "your money is no good tonight" for covering the tab in Don's honour. After recovering from our shock, expressing our gratitude for his generosity, and putting up a slight argument, we quickly deposited our shekels in the center of the table like so many would do in the same situation, our intention to leave him a substantial tip. A credit to the type of person he is, Tyson quickly ... and loudly ... announced that any money left would be swept into the garbage so make sure to take every last dollar. 

We're old and stubborn, if I'm honest, and the pile of cash was left anyway, prompting Tyson to shove it my way as the final member leaving the table, requesting that I take it as a donation to the Lillow family in McReilly's honour. 

In a shameless plug for business, if you experience the urge for a pint or some good eats, and you're in downtown Barrie, might you consider popping into McReilly's as a small payback in Don Lillow's honour? 

Our little gang would greatly appreciate it!

RIP Don and Betty Lillow! Your influence has helped shape multiple generations!