Remembering Jen

 

Warning: This piece might rub some the wrong way, perhaps feeling it doesn't belong on social media or it's not my place to comment, but my intention is 100% to celebrate a remarkable woman.

I struggled internally with writing this piece, mostly out of respect to a good friend, fellow coach, and former colleague, Burke Erwin, but in the end, I decided to focus on a nagging regret that was born of my experience.

Burke recently endured a husband's worst nightmare when the love of his life encountered a medical emergency that all of society's present knowledge and technology was unsuccessful in abating, his best friend and life mate passing at a tragically young age. To say that he was crushed would be the largest understatement in history, but his pathway to healing was assisted when he was surrounded by his grieving daughters, the shattered in-laws, and a hoard of supportive, sympathetic friends at Jen's astounding Celebration of Life. Joyce and I went mostly out of respect for our friendship with him, but also to show our support to his daughters whom I grew to know in a teacher-student role at Barrie North. 

We knew Burke's wife Jen as acquaintances, so not well but enough to be thoroughly impressed by the words used to express the anguish so many were dealing with. We genuinely believe that we missed out on a potentially profound experience in knowing her well. 

The COL was held at a local microbrewery called Quayles, on the 12th line of Oro-Medonte, just south of Mount St Louis Rd. To say that we came away gobsmacked by the outpouring of sympathies by an overwhelming number of friends and loved ones doesn't even begin the cut it. The cross section of attendees covered a wide assortment from all walks of Burke's life as a respected teacher, beloved coach, respected musician, and all around great guy. And that's without acknowledging the incredible circle of friends Jen made on her own! Colleagues from education, present and former athletes, fellow musicians and band mates, and friends garnered through what was obviously a life well lived, accounted for literally hundreds of supporters.

Shout out to Quayles for donating their beautiful grounds to host Jen's COL.

I have felt moved by other COL's that I have attended, but this one reached way down deep, and I feel strongly that I should embrace a change in my day to day attitude toward those in my life that I value. While it was Jen's COL that was the lynchpin, it comes on the heels of the one year anniversary of my own brother's passing that I wager has prompted the impetus to "do better" because it occurred to me that we all have a tendency to wait until someone is gone before we express how much they mean to us. I am unsure of why this is the case, but as the saying goes, "It is what it is" and I'll choose to embrace the change I feel is needed.

This sense of regret was echoed in some of the most moving eulogies I've heard in some time.

I will take the next few weeks to make sure I communicate with my loved ones the value they hold for their place in my life, how much I appreciate their love and support, how good they make me feel, in an attempt to ensure that what I might say or write at a COL is received WELL before it usually happens.

I will consider this little change as my token of respect for the obvious gem of a person that Jen was, and I would encourage any one who reads this to endeavour to make the same change.

Thanks for reading this to the end.
RIP Jen Erwin. (obituary)