What is your deepest fear?

I love a good movie! We have Prime and Netflix so between the two, we must have access to 3000 or more movies, but the struggle is REAL in finding something that we both feel is worth the investment of a 5 minute preview. In some cases, the trailers help, but less than half of the movies that tweak our curiosity have trailers, so it's the age old roll o' the dice on some. Unfortunately for us, our batting average is not far off what the Blue Jays are these days, and that's disappointingly low ... in both cases.

Easily one of my favourite movies is Coach Carter, and at the risk of throwing a spoiler out into CyberSpace, it is well worth the time, even if you're not a huge basketball lover. The story centers around a real person, Coach Ken Carter, who returns to his alma mater after much personal success, as head coach for the varsity boys team, and along the way, changes the bulk of the team's lives through his unusually strict and demanding style. My favourite moment surrounds one of the more needy players, Timo Cruz, reciting a powerful quote in response to being challenged by Coach Carter, "What is your deepest fear?" The quote is originally from the book, A return to love, by Ms Marianne Williamson, 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

The first time I watched the movie, I was as impressed by these words as most, but the deeper meaning escaped my understanding at the time, and only re-watching delivered the impact the screen writer intended. I had to rewind a couple of times to make sure I grasped its full message. I don't mind admitting that while it did not change my life in some Eureka moment, its urging did bring a sense of peace to me as I continued to pursue excellence nearing the end my career, and I do feel that I became a better coach because of it. By embracing successes with pride, despite what naysayers commented, I consciously urged my players to do the same that they would brighten their own darkness in a wholesome sense of accomplishment.

I was doom-scrolling recently and stumbled upon a little video with Lawrence Fishburne from the movie, Akeelah and the Bee, that was focused on this same quote, again meant to enlighten a young mind. I immediately recognized the quote from Coach Carter, and had to look into it a little deeper. Of course a message this powerful would be applicable in all manner of situations.

Somewhere along the way, as society developed the ability to share information more widely, we allowed the anxieties of other's insecurities to rob light from our successes to abate their fears of failure in an effort to diminish our celebrations of achievement. The goal was to taint success with warnings of negative emotions like arrogance or hubris, like we were directly responsible for their envy. In today's social media driven world, the visceral reactions to people's good fortune or skill is hard wired through negative feedback loops that play out on a daily basis, the immediate impact of negative self-talk visibly evident through non-verbal demonstrations. 

I personally endeavour to celebrate the successes of those around me in an effort to allow their light to shine like a beacon, and while I fall prey to rare occasions where those old negative thoughts arise, it's far easier than one might think to learn this new mindset, allowing the darkness of inadequacy to be abated, brightening our mood, our thoughts, and our expressions.

Give it a try ... what have you got to lose?