My kingdom for a butter tart!

"A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!" uttered Richard III in Shakespeare's iconic drama about the fall of Britain's crown at the Battle of Bosworth Field, fighting to his death on foot after losing his horse in battle. In that moment, the Wars of the Roses nearing its end, his death is a turning point in British history with the victorious Henry Tudor becoming Henry VII, the first of the Tudor monarchs and the founder of their dynasty.

William Shakespeare rose to professional success under Elizabeth I, the final Tudor ruler, penning his drama about the historical king while taking a wide poetic licence with character development. On a related fun factoid, the hastily constructed grave of the monarch was confirmed when it was discovered in 2012 under a Leicester parking lot, DNA of the contents confirming its occupant's identity.

Why tell you all of this?

"A butter tart, a butter tart, my kingdom for a butter tart!" 

I completely empathize with Richard's besieged proclamation, except in my case it's a plea for a most delicious treat, my true Kryptonite if I'm honest. It doesn't quite roll off the lips as poetically as the original, but I do like the sound of it.

In case you were unaware, the local city of Midland, ON, annually hosts a passionate celebration of all things butter tart, and in 2023, it fell on June 10th. A scant 12 hours prior to the day's sunrise, the forecast was for a glorious day, and my good friend Doug Woods (ex BCC & BNC VP, fellow cyclist, and all around great guy) reached out with an invitation to join him in a tour of western Simcoe combined with a visit that would featured my personal ambrosia. 

"Of course I'm in, Woodsy!

The route he configured to arrive at said celebration featured a small tour of Wasaga Beach, a sashay through beaches A through W (Allendwood - Wahnekewaning) to the 13th line of Tiny, and a dash around Midland Point before the area's cycling trails emptied out onto the Midland Harbour, the start of the craziness that consumed the main drag King Street with it's dozens of vendor's tents and long line ups. A quick stop at Grounded Cafe for some java enjoyed, we scanned the available wares, honed in on the chosen prey, and BAZINGA, secured an example of pure ecstasy bundled up in a cup of mouth-watering pastry. 

The poor thing never stood a chance!

As luck would have it, who should appear at the end of the line up for the very same delicacy, but my cousin Bryan Dean and his two treat-seeking friends. Bryan's mom Merle and my mom Andrea were sisters, meaning the four Porter warts spent the bulk of our adolescence getting up to no good with the 3 Dean offspring. Readers of this Blog may recall the post about my Aunt's passing a couple of years back, a tough time for the entire family made worse by our guilt for allowing life to get in the way of continued connections. Despite the regular dose of Social Media's photos, the 7 of us had allowed the responsibilities of raising families, the demands of employment, and the craziness of a pandemic to become obstacles that prevented our long-overdue reacquaintance. 

Bryan and I shared our pertinent family news, made our inquiries about life ups and downs, then bid our goodbyes but not before making a solemn promise to work toward an open invitation to the extended family for a summer reunion. We agreed that we need to set the date and allow all those that can and will to share a meal, a beverage, and warm embrace while we rekindle those childhood "fires". 

With our pancreases in full spasm, Woodsy and I made our way back along the side roads of Tiny, bid our farewells, shared our gratitude for an astounding morning, and went our separate ways, he to his car parked in Elmvale, me to the Beach. While the winds off Georgian Bay howled out of the west making the route home a teeth-gritting affair, there was little decline in my mood, and pulling into the parking lot signalled the sweet conclusion of another amazing cycling experience.

The HUGE smile when I presented Joyce with her own little gem of Canadian deliciousness was just icing on the cake.

#lifeisgood 

#buttertarts 

#getinmybelly

Remembering OFSAA 2019

It's the morning of the opening kick-off for the 2023 OFSAA 'AAA' Boys' Rugby championships being held in Arva, ON, and with Barrie North's Sr side qualifying the other day by besting Collingwood in the GBSSA finals, I'm reminded of my final season coaching high school rugby, back in 2019. 

Wait, you say, Arva? I've lived in Ontario my whole life, but where in the world is that?

Arva, ON, is the home of Medway HS, a long-time key player in the high school rugby scene, and the host of the 2023 OFSAA championship. It is a quiet hamlet a few minutes north of London, ON, up highway #4 and is hosting the rugby championships again after a successful go around in 2022. 

Long time friends will recall that when Barrie Central was officially closed in June of 2016, I took my coaching show on the road to Barrie North, and together with my great friend and co-coach Ron Andrews, took over the Sr Boys' rugby program for the last few years of our career prior to retirement. It wasn't like we were starting all over again since the program had been skillfully steered by it's present head coach, Mike Alcombrack, who graciously handed over the reins, but we felt compelled to put our 'Central-style' thumbprint on it. With our retirement looming, we both knew that time was short to install the necessary skills and understanding to have our new charges perform at a level where we could anticipate a return to the OFSAA stage. 

Like the quote from Coach Hotz, it's all about how you react.

The lad's eyebrows were collectively raised when we implemented the mandatory winter training sessions, focusing on skills that were only marginally accepted as important, having never spent so much time on them in their past. Not the least of those were their ball in hand + pass-catch skills, something we had long cherished as vital to success, even adopting the adage '"if you can't pass, you perish", so the grumbling came fast and furious as we focused on the minutia of effective technique. Another was the thrilling world of footwork and its impact on evasion skills, the end goal to avoid contact situations and their potential for loss of possession. Drill after drill, we harped on their execution, much to their displeasure. 

In the end, their skills and understanding lagged behind their passion for 'dubs', culminating in a playoff loss to a talented Nantyr Shores team in the 2017 GBSSA finals.

Fast forward to the 2018 rugby season, and the return of a sizeable portion of the team that had transitioned into Gr 12, the resistance to our 'Central' way was noticeably lower, and we took the next steps by ramping up the drill's intensity to replicate game-like conditions. Integral to this was the implementation of lunch-time touch and its recreation of game time conditions, but the numbers were lacking, foreshadowing what was to come. Just like we experienced in our previous coaching lives, the 2018 version embraced most of the changes, the 'rugby IQ' growing weekly, resulting in a return to the GBSSA championship, this time facing Banting. 

Despite the significant improvements in skills and knowledge, the lad's lack of commitment to the physical side of training came back to haunt them as a significantly stronger Banting team used their physicality to best us. 

Bride's maids again.

With the sting of two unsuccessful bids for the OFSAA experience fresh in their minds, the fall of the 2018-2019 school year was punctuated by the grunts and clangs of the lad's weight room antics, notably led by the sizeable number who had chosen to return for a 'victory lap' in quest of their first collective OFSAA trip. Gone were the moans and groans of "we've never done that before" as the lunch touch sessions and night practices showcased their growing skills, recognition, and enhanced physical abilities. 

The only thing missing was a tour!

As Ron and I had experienced many times in our past, nothing unites a side like a rugby tour, and with so many incredible experiences to choose from, we queried the lads on how many would be willing to put in the necessary work to raise enough funds to make it happen. With a resounding affirmation, the only thing left was to plan. At the top of the wish list was a return to Florida's Disney World, a two-time Central touring escapade that were both classified as amazing successes. Unfortunately, things had changed significantly in the SCDSB, and with permission denied, we scrambled to find something that Sr admin would say yes to. 

If you can't be allowed to take a group of teenagers to arguably the safest place on the planet, taking them to the modern version of Soddam & Gomorrah was the logical choice, yes? Armed with the knowledge that the 7-a-side World Rugby's only North American stop was in Las Vegas, and the rugby crazies in that part of the world ran an invitational tournament that had a high school 15-a-side version, we rolled the dice and resubmitted our application bound for the USA's 'Sin City'.

Of course we were granted permission. What could go wrong in Vegas baby!

The buzz of excitement was palpable as the best kept secret that we would be touring Vegas was finally revealed to players and parents alike. We had a tried and true fundraising vehicle that would assist with the dreaded chase for the necessary cash to make the experience a reality, and following that first tour meeting, the lads were rabid about the possibility. That infusion of energy provided the push to achieve near 100% buy-in from the team and attendance at training and fitness was at an all time high. 

I could write a 7-page post about that tour, but that's not the focus of this particular post, so I'll just leave it at IT WAS AS BRILLIANT AS IT WAS MEMORABLE, and was just what the doctor ordered for unifying the lads. I'll write a follow up post to this one with a better synopsis of the tour.

Armed with enhanced skills, understanding, fitness, and game experience, the lads took to the 2019 GBSSA season like bees to honey, steamrolling their way to a 3rd straight trip to the championship game, this time facing Banting for the rematch. Ron and I both knew that something special was brewing as the lads dominated in all aspects of the game, winning that elusive GBSSA crown in convincing fashion, erasing the disappointment of the previous few seasons.

Here we come OFSAA!

Being a relative unknown at the provincial level, we were seeded in a challenging slot, meaning that our first hurdle was to go through host side Brooklyn SS in the opening round. Despite all of the hours invested in preparing for this moment, the jitters got the best of the lads, and a late game surge aside, we bowed to Brooklyn. It would have been easy for them to hang their heads, feel sorry for themselves, and shrug the remainder of the tournament away, but kudos to them for steeling their resolve by setting their sights on the Consolation Championship. 

If you're familiar with rugby and the OFSAA championship, you'll already be aware of how tremendously difficult the tournament is both mentally and physically, but in case you're reading this and know nothing about it, it would be good for you to understand that the kids who play in a championship game (Gold medal or Consolation) will have played 4 games in total over 3 days ... 1 the opening day, 2 on the middle day, and 1 on the day of the final. These games are 40 min in total because the Law Book for rugby limits the number of minutes that a player can potentially participate in for a 24 hour period. Since it is the provincial championship, the games are intense, physical, and most likely hot since it's annually played in the first week of June. With an opening round loss, North survived 'Hell Day' with wins over first a gritty, athletic John F Ross (Guelph) team, then a tightly contested affair over Sacred Heart (Ottawa) that wasn't decided until the overtime period that came down to penalty kicks when Gr 11 center Wyatt Pilz slotted a toe-punch from the extreme right from over 30m away. 

The berth earned in to the Consolation Final meant revisiting an old rival for Ron and I. Over the many years at Central, we faced perennial powerhouse Brantford Collegiate in a number of medal games, winning our fair share, but they were always tightly contested and extremely physical. The 2019 version proved to be no less epic as both teams played their hearts out despite their exhausted, incredibly sore bodies, willing themselves to give every last drop of energy in the cause. As the final whistle sounded, the scoreboard in favour of the 'Good Guys', our boys let out a collective sigh of relief, embraced each other, and celebrated North's first OFSAA championship banner, albeit as "the best of the rest". Those on their victory lap in particular grinned ear to ear with their sense of accomplishment, content that they had secured their legacy in the history of their beloved school. 

Ron and I shared a number of emotional moments with the boys and the parents that had travelled to support the effort, but the warmest, most genuine of the day's embraces were the ones we shared as we basked in the glory of what we had accomplished together, our coaching partnership reaching its inevitable conclusion. Very few other teachers can lay claim to a legacy like ours, decades in the making, a lineage stacked with OFSAA medals of all denominations, and the sheer elation of capping off those careers with one last OFSAA victory filled us with both elation and sadness, in equal amounts. With Ron retiring that June, and me following in the following January, our time at the helm of the good ship rugby had reached its conclusion.

Ron's become one of my dearest friends over the years. As he eloquently pointed out one day, we worked side by side in the pressure cooker of high school athletics, share an exorbitant amount of success, and can freely admit that we had nary a disagreement over that 24 or so years. Not too many duos can profess that accomplishment.

These days, all that remain are the dusty memories of those years, and while the gold-silver-bronze medals are trophies worthy of proud grins, I'll unequivocally state that were pretty gosh darned proud of what we accomplished at Barrie North in a very short amount of time.

Cue the slow walk into the sunset ... Annnnd CUT!

Go Vikes Go v2.0!

A couple of posts ago, I raved about the Varsity Girls' Rugby program at my old school, Barrie North, and the pretty nifty things that are happening there thanks to the group efforts of a handful of generous, talented chaps. I even included, in all hubris, some of the great snaps that I captured at the semifinal game vs Bear Creek. I would be remiss if I didn't brag equally loudly about the Sr and Jr Boys' Rugby programs and the success they earned recently at the hands of Innisdale and Nantyr Shores.

To RECAP:
The rugby program at Barrie North is alive and well thanks to Mike Alcombrack, Burke Erwin, Adam Claus, Alex Griffin, and Gary Krauser ... well, the 2023 version anyway, since another equally awesome dude name Rich Jessome stepped away this year for personal reasons. He was integral in building the foundation of the Girls' program for the past 5 years. As perviously outlined, although it is collaboration in its truest sense, it is Alcombrack and Claus that steer the Sr ship while assisting Erwin as he steers the Jr ship, then support Griffin + Krauser whenever possible.

The SEMIS:

The Sr Boys, on the strength of tremendous regular season success, earned the #2 seed in the playoffs pitting them against Eastview in the quarters and Innisdale in the semis. While the class of the AAA loop has been the #2 seeded Vikings and #1 seeded Collingwood Fighting Owls, it's fair to say that there is a great deal of parity from top to bottom. Add to this the rash of injuries that the Vikings endured throughout the season, and the forecast of a cracker type game was both accurate and enticing. The lineup sent out onto the pitch on behalf of North was the closest to their starting 15 they've featured since the very first game of the season way back in late April ... way back ... (grin) the high school season for rugby is ridiculously short.

Feeling privileged to represent, I was front and center with my trusty Nikon, as the Vikings stormed out of the gate scoring early and often route to a 17-3 halftime lead. Even as the substitutes ran on to the pitch, eager for a taste of semifinal action, the was nary a misstep as the Viking's shape, form, organization, and execution resulted in a 32-10 convincing win, a score that does nothing to celebrate how valiant and determined the Invaders were in a losing cause. Thanks to well rehearsed sequencing, the Vikings retained the lion's share of the possession, forcing the Invaders on the defensive for much of the game, but shy away from the task they did not, as player after player "stuck their heads in the spokes" in an effort to force North's hand.

The win gives the Vikings a rare opportunity.

Collingwood visited North in the final regular season game, and after a hotly contested affair that featured equal parts powerful offense and staunch defence, the Owls came away with a 7-5 victory, earning the #1 seed. North has now earned the privilege of payback, travelling to Collingwood's Harbourview Park on Thursday, June 1st for a 2:00 pm literal Clash of the Titans. The winner, of course, will earn the right to represent GBSSA at the annual AAA OFSAA Boys' Rugby championships, to be held this year at Medway High School in Arva, ON, just north of London, from June 8-10, 2023.

You'd do yourself a favour to make the trek to 'The Wood" to catch this one!

Not to be outdone, the Jr Vikings had but a nanosecond to celebrate their Sr counterpart's glory, before taking the pitch for their own semifinal against the visiting Nantyr Shores Tritons, a team that despite being the #6 seed was certainly dangerously fit and tidy. The tale of the tape was more appropriately a tale of two halves, with Nantyr looking every bit the spoiler, offering up some brilliant play on the back of some incredible singular efforts to hold the lead 17-12 at the half. While the first 10 minutes of the second half was a combatist's dream with both teams stepping up their physicality, there came a point about midway where the step of the Viking's seemed to hasten, just a shade. Thanks largely to the thunderous runs of OC Evan Mino, North threatened the Triton in-goal on a number of occasions before notching the game winning try+conversion, then holding Nantyr at bay for the final 6 minutes of the game.

The 19-17 victory earned the Jr Vikes the right to host underdog Eastview, upset victors over a heavily favoured Collingwood Jr side that had not lost a game all season. North will host the game with a kick off of 3:00 pm. Like their Sr counterparts, the Jr winner will earn the right to represent GBSSA at the annual Barbarian Cup, the unofficial Jr championships for Ontario, to be held in Bellville, ON, on June 11-12, 2023.

Unfortunately, a retirement scheduling conflict means that I won't be able to be at the Jr game, but I'll be on the edge of my seat, waiting for some news around 4:30.

I'll be at the Sr game in Collingwood, partly because I'm compelled to as a former Viking, partly since it's almost in my backyard now that I live in Wasaga Beach, but mainly because the 2:00 pm kick off means I can make my previous engagement ... I'm golfing with some really good friends!

Will I see you on the sidelines in Collingwood?

The 4th dimension!

A second instalment of the 'GOOD' found out there on the Internet. Acknowledging that I spent some time poking around to ensure these words were properly attributed, but I was not able to ascertain 100% proof of who originally shared. Still, I am deeply grateful to that author for his/her mental 'burr under the saddle' because it prompted some reflection on my part, especially considering my career in education, and the focus of my pedagogy for those many years.

Interestingly, I was doing some supply work for an HPE friend recently and the assigned work was to view the documentary "The Social Dilemma" (a scary video for folks my age! CLICK) and complete a reflection on the theories & opinions contained therein. Debriefing the video afterward prompted a lengthy discussion about social media, smartphones, and mental health, issues already squiggling around in my grey matter thanks to beginning research for this post. I threw out some of what I learned about AQ as a conversation-starter and the kids responded with some genuine interest. They shared a variety of thoughts about adversity, their understanding of healthy ways to deal with it, and the repercussions of faulty thinking.

Curious about what I mean by AQ? 

Read on!

According to Psychologists, there are four types of Intelligence:
1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ)
2) Emotional Quotient (EQ)
3) Social Quotient (SQ)
4) Adversity Quotient (AQ)

Your Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is the measure of your level of comprehension. You need IQ to solve math problems, memorize things, think logically, and recall lessons learned. It is a total score derived from a set of standardised tests or subtests designed to assess human intelligence. The abbreviation "IQ" was coined by the psychologist William Stern for the German term Intelligenzquotient, his term for a scoring method for intelligence tests he advocated in a 1912 book. (Wikipedia)

Your Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others, keep to time, be responsible, be honest, respect boundaries, be humble, genuine and considerate. People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions and those of others, use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, and adjust emotions to adapt to environments. (Wikipedia)

Your Social Quotient (SQ) is the measure of your ability to build a network of relationships and maintain them over a long period of time. It is the measure of self- and social-awareness, evolved social beliefs and attitudes, or demonstrating a capacity and appetite to manage complex social change. Some psychologists are adamant that it is what defines who we are as human beings. (Wikipedia)

People that have higher EQ and SQ tend to go further in life than those with a high IQ but low EQ and SQ. Most schools capitalize on improving IQ levels while EQ and SQ are less emphasized. A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he has an average IQ. Your EQ represents your character, while your SQ represents your Charisma. Give in to habits that will improve these three Qs, especially your EQ and SQ.

There is that 4th quotient, Adversity, a new paradigm, and it's lesser known.

Your Adversity Quotient (AQ) is the measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life, and come out of it without losing your mind. When faced with troubles, AQ determines who will give up, who will abandon their loved ones, and who will consider escaping life. The term was coined by Paul Stoltz in 1997 in his book Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities. To quantify the adversity quotient, Stoltz developed an assessment method called the Adversity Response Profile (ARP) that postulated AQ as a likely indicator of a person's success, in addition to being theoretically able to predict attitude, stress, perseverance, longevity, learning, and response to changes in environment. (Wikipedia)

In my retired, informal opinion, a young people's AQ is at the crux of many issues percolating to the surface in today's high school halls, especially as we emerge from a post-Covid world. The detriments in student's sense of resiliency is manifested in a host of socially inappropriate and educationally damaging behaviours, impairing learning and the group dynamics of a classroom environment, and leading to increased isolation tendencies. The fears of failure and ridicule, and their inability to handle them appropriately, are handcuffing student's learning in a true paralysis by analysis ... a faulty analysis at the hands of adversity.

Parents, I urge you to expose your children to other areas of life beyond Academics like the benefits of group dynamics that feature manual labour (BTW should never be used as a form of punishment), athletics, and the Arts. Immersion in activities designed to develop IQ, but that will simultaneously develop their EQ, SQ and AQ as well are the goal required for well rounded adults. Parents, please resist the temptation to jump into the fray to smooth out bumps in your child's road. Doing so will ensure they become multifaceted human beings able to do things independently of you. Being allowed to experience the repercussions of their choices, positive and negative, will reap the long-term gains of a productive adulthood. 

Do not prepare the road for your children. 

Prepare your children for the road.

It's filled with potholes and bumps!

Thanks for reading!

Go Vikes Go!

As many will already know, I've exhibited some extreme behaviours over the course of my working career in education, namely my fanaticism surrounding coaching a variety of sports. I recently shared that my passion has decreased these past few years in retirement, but that doesn't mean my interest has waned ... NOT in the least! I greatly enjoy life on the spectator side of the court / pitch, trusty Nikon in hand poised and ready for the task, so imagine the pleasure emanating from cheering on North's Lady Vikings as they bested Bear Creek in the GBSSA semifinals for girls' rugby. 

Beautiful day! Fantastic spectacle of rugby! Plus I captured some keepers!

The rugby aficionados at Barrie North have settled on a group approach to steering the ship that includes a Sr Boys, Jr Boys, and Varsity Girls, in a divide and conquer method to spread their various strength across the 3 different teams. Inevitably, some ownership was taken and coaches Griffin and Krauser stepped across the line to captain the Varsity Girls, a task that judging by their wide smiles and multitudinous high-fives, is something that they're A-okay with. While coaches Alcombrack, Claus, and Erwin are available to fill in some blanks, the product on the pitch is largely thanks to these two stellar gentlemen.

The varsity aspect of the side means that there are young women of a range of ages from gr 9 to 5th year donning the gold 'n green, demonstrating both passion and execution in abundant proportions ... and it doesn't hurt at all that they have some pretty nifty athletes! While the passion and energy of Bear Creek was commendable, it was no match for the equally brilliant play of the Vikings, and when combined with some readily evident high rugby IQ's, the Vikings eventually wore down the Kodiaks, putting in 3 late tries to make the final spread fittingly comfortable.

Shout out to coach Wilkey at Bear Creek, though, and he should be proud as a peacock for the way his charges competed to the final whistle!

The semifinal win places the Vikings square in the sights of the #1 seeded Nantyr Shores Tritons, who had similar success in their semifinal against the Orillia SS Nighthawks. The GBSSA final will take place at 3:00 pm on May 26th and be hosted by the Nantyr. It should be a cracker of a game, and judging by the execution of both sides, the fans will be treated to a terrific display! I'll of course be rooting for North but should they be bested, it won't be from a lack of effort!

Unfortunately, a previous appointment prevents me from being at the game in person, so I'll offer my best wishes to all the Vikings.

BTW, if you're up for some boys' rugby actions, both the Sr and Jr Boys Vikings will host on Monday May 29th in their own semifinals with the Sr kicking things off at 2:30 pm. 

Check the SCAA Sports web site for the most up-to-date information CLICK.

Change your YOU!

The Internet's intoxicating lure is more powerful than any a siren's song, figuratively wrecking more 'ships' on the rocks of its malfeasant vortex. Having said that, it occasionally offers up a gemstone whose brilliance lights up the soul faster than a grandmother's signature cookies.

The following words in blue from essayist Brianna Wiest (BIO) are brutally honest, provoking, and beautiful. The Internet has been ripe with posts attributing these thoughts to Anthony Hopkins, but a SNOPES search points to Wiest as the true author. They are contained in an essay that she included in her best-selling book, "101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think" (Chapters or Amazon), a book that is now on my must-read list.

Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who are indifferent about your presence. Stop prioritizing people who make you an option. Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you. I know that your instinct is to do whatever you can to earn the good graces of everyone you can, but that is also the impulse that will rob you of your time, your energy and your sanity.

Easily stated ... profoundly difficult in practice.

When you start showing up to your life wholly and completely, with joy and interest and commitment, not everyone is going to be ready to meet you there. It doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. It means you need to stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you. If you’re left out, subtly insulted, mindlessly forgotten about or easily disregarded by the people you spend the most time with, you’re doing yourself an incredible disservice by continuing to offer your energy and life to them.

Well, there it is. The justification is right there in blue and white.

The truth is that you are not for everyone, and everyone is not for you. That’s what makes it so special when you do find the few people with whom you have a genuine friendship, love or relationship: you’ll know how precious it is because you’ve experienced what it isn’t. The longer you spend trying to force someone to love you when they aren’t capable, the longer you’re robbing yourself of that very connection. 

It is waiting for you. 

There are billions of people on this planet, and so many of them are going to meet you at your level, vibe where you are, connect with where you’re going. The longer you stay small, tucked into the familiarity of the people who use you as a cushion, a back burner option, a therapist and a ploy for their emotional labor, the longer you keep yourself out of the community you crave.

Humans are hard-wired to seek connection ... we innately crave meaningful relationships. While I'll admit there are those that are completely satisfied with their own company, the overwhelming majority have a DNA-rooted fear of isolation and rejection, but the key element is the term MEANINGFUL.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you’ll be less liked.
Maybe you’ll be forgotten about altogether.
Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will cease.
Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for days and weeks.
Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve.

Or maybe, you'll be gifted with the understanding of who is truly interested in you and all your awesomeness. The veil of uncertainly will be lifted, you'll grasp the like-minded in a warm embrace, and a HUGE smile will be germinating.

That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship. It means that the only thing sustaining a relationship was the energy you and you alone were putting into it. 

That’s not love, that’s attachment. 

Those 5 words are profoundly powerful! Read them again. It's not entitlement, its realizing your own worth, acknowledging your positive self-concept, the 'greatest gift of all' as Whitney Houston so eloquently crooned.

The most precious, important thing that you have in your life is your energy. It is not your time that is limited, it is your energy. What you give it to each day is what you will create more and more of in your life. What you give your time to is what will define your existence. When you realize this, you’ll begin to understand why you’re so anxious when you spend your time with people who are wrong for you, and in jobs or places or cities that are wrong, too. You’ll begin to realize that the foremost important thing you can do for your life and yourself and everyone you know is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else.

Make your life a safe haven in which only people that can care and listen and connect are allowed.
You are not responsible for saving people.
You are not responsible for convincing them they want to be saved.

Certainly NOT easily accomplished, but the rewards far surpass the effort extended. Again, valuing the YOU in the relationship so that your extended efforts are worth your energy ... VITALLY IMPORTANT!

It is not your job to show up for people and give away your life to them, little by little, moment by moment, because you pity them, because you feel bad, because you “should” because you’re obligated, because, at the root of it all, you’re afraid to not be liked back. It is your job to realize that you are the master of your fate, and that you are accepting the love you think you’re worthy of. Decide you’re deserving of real friendship, true commitment and complete love with people who are healthy and thriving. 

Then wait in the darkness, just for a little bit… and watch how quickly everything begins to change.

If you can't think of a single toxic relationship in your life right now, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you can, you're now faced with a decision about the direction you wish your life to proceed.

Don't let fears of other's opinions deter you from prioritizing your life ... as Wiest says, you deserve it!

These words made me examine my own life, and I took great value from that exercise.

I hope they serve you equally as well.

A first time for everything!

As the old adage goes, "There's a first time for everything!" 

Never has this rung more true than a recent experience gifted to me by my buddy Kevin Simms aka COACH Simms aka Simmer. I'm pretty sure that I've written in the past about Simmer's role in my conversion to the dark arts of cycling, so there's no need to rehash that, but few know that Simmer is widely regarded as one of, if not THE, the best youth cycling coaches in Ontario ... perhaps Canada ... maybe North America! His present group of wunderkinds ride under the moniker IGNITE Junior Cycling and since he was running a training camp amidst the hills of Oro-Medonte, he asked me if I would consider tagging along for a training race and take some action shots.

Whaaat? Sports ... camera ... cycling ... Simmer? I didn't need much time to mull that one over!

Mother Nature didn't get the memo for the day, darkening skies looming as the day progressed, threatening a wet track with each passing hour. Not to be intimidated, the 9 wunderkinds embraced the challenge of racing in the rain like bees to honey. Resplendent in their Uber logo'd team kit ... borrowing from rugby, it's ALL ABOUT THE KIT ... the buzz of teen aged excitement was palpable as the event neared. Trusted Nikon in hand, I was busily filling its SD card with informal shots, with the kids barely batting an eyelash like a group of seasoned pros, when the call came to mount up. Being a complete NEWB to road cycling, the announcement that it would be a neutralized start washed over my understanding like a rolling tide, but I witnessed the needed explanation as they rolled to a predetermined start point before putting the proverbial pedal to the floor ... a rolling start, if you will.

Simmer brings a TON of cred to the table.

With a brilliant race career of his own, at the world championship levels none the less, his hustle for sponsorship dollars is massively impressive! Besides the aforementioned kit from Giordana, shoes from Sphyre, helmets from Lazer, and nutrition from Namedsport, the jewell of his efforts is a top of the line Ford F-150 Lariat thanks to Thor Motors, on loan for the 2023 racing season. Not just a run-of-the-mill pickup, with a list price of $88 K, this ride is one sweet deal, and just what the doctor ordered as a support vehicle to a team like IGNITE. While the 'currency' of the team is undoubtably the athletes and their successes, should they perform at noteworthy levels, attracting the interest of pro riding teams in both N America and Europe, the foundation on which they develop their abilities is built on the support they receive while honing their craft. An Energizer Bunny of positivism, Simmer's depth of knowledge may be equalled but definitely not surpassed, especially in Canada.

Capturing the efforts of this really great group of youngsters was a TREAT, albeit a tough task type! Hopping in and out of the truck, being a contributor to the needs of the racers, dodging raindrops with Nikon aimed and ready all made for an interesting afternoon. I usually don't struggle with capturing the action of sports I have a plethora of experience with like basketball and rugby, but with zero bike race experience, there were fingers and toes crossed that the products were of a decent quality. Back home, photos uploaded to my MacBook, a quick perusal revealed that there were more than I anticipated, but my overall opinion was DEF that I can do better, even with the positive feedback from Simmer and the lads. I have committed to attend a few more events with the intention to grab some WOWSERS! 

The pundits claim that challenging our 'mature' brains with new-to-us tasks helps to stave off cognitive decline in our later years, so I'm betting that a few more events like this one will do the trick for the ol' grey matter, for sure!

Thanks Simmer! Thanks IGNITE JC! 

Life is most DEFINITELY good!