Memory Lane: There's always a Silver lining!

This isolation thing must be having an effect on me because I have regularly found myself taking strolls down Memory Lane to visit the most impressionable events from my coaching years.

When I was offered a position on the staff at Barrie Central, my old football coach, Dave Garland, was on the interview committee and it was clear right from the onset that his agenda included me helping coach football. The long and short of it was that I coached the Jr team to a lacklustre performance in year one, and then a couple of years at Sr, winning a GBSSA Championship in 2001, but I really wasn't in love with the whole scene. Don't get me wrong, my co-coaches were awesome, and while there were players who whole-heartedly embraced the values and practices we were preaching, there remained a sizeable number that weren't really interested in become elite, and that drained much of the love out of it for me. This eventually led to me opening the door to coaching girl's basketball as my fall coaching duty.

I was blessed with talent in both co-coaches and players throughout those years.
As for coaches, the late Bob Caville and I were like Gump's "Peas and Carrots" when it came to what we both had to offer to the team, while Robin Lawrence, BNC grad and hoops star, and I shared a much closer make up and she became a close friend as the years rolled by.
As for players I got to work with, Kayla Alexander (Bio), the Lukan sisters Alyska (Mac+Ott), Megan (Bio) and Kaili (Bio), Kirsten Shedden, Nerida Kort Vander Linden, the Innes sisters Kira and Kylee, the Schweitzer sisters Holly and Ally (Mac) but they were supported by amazing athletes who's primary focus was a different sport like Emily Belchos (Bio). There are a plethora of others who may feel slighted that I didn't name ... Ladies, please understand that I mean no offence.

One team, in particular, immediately causes a coronary flutter, partially because of how it concluded but also because the girls came together over a win-filled season to be one of the best joint-effort tournaments I have ever coached.

The backbone of the 2011 team was 5'10" Sr Kaili Lukan, the youngest of the three superstar sisters to grace Central and quite possibly the best one on one defender I have ever coached, male or female. Kaili could single handily take over a game by locking down the opposition’s best player and breaking the opposition’s spirit in the process. She was so talented, she would go on to an incredible NCAA career with Wisconsin-Green Bay, following in her sister Megan's footsteps, where she helped WGB appear in multiple NCAA tournaments and was Defensive Player of the Year in the Horizon League in her Sr year.

Providing significant help was 6'0" Soph Ally Schweitzer, who would go on to her own successful career as a member of McMaster Marauders where she was a heralded recruit (Click).

The rest of the supporting cast were a plethora of incredible athletes like Nerida Koert Van der Linden (who also holds the record for the longest name I have coached), sisters Kira and Kylee Innes, Ally's sister Holly, Emily Belchos, Emma Chown, Corinna Mageean, Brittany Triemstra, Claire MacDonald, Tori Bailey, Chanel Frangakis and Laura Benson.

My co-coach was Pappa Bear himself, the late Bob Caville. Bob was a "Salt of the Earth" type of man and a terrific basketball coach, to boot. We each brought our own strengths to the team and I am forever in his debt for sharing his knowledge and friendship with me.

We won the GBSSA title going away and entered the tournament seeded #9. The hype about our team grew with each upset as we posted wins over #8 Glebe HS, #15 St Ignatius and #6 Thomas A Stewart. We eventually won our way into the Gold Medal game against heavily favoured #1 General Amherst, who's starting line up was the stuff of legends going 6'5", 6'3", 6'1", 6'0" and 5'10" ... Sr Girls ... Are you kidding me? In the end it came down a 2-point lead for GA in the waning seconds after Kaili’s last second shot bounced out, and I prepared myself for the inevitable tears of a heart-wrenching loss … Except that didn’t happen.

As the girls rushed into a group at mid court, the resounding cheers swelled in volume, “We’re Number Two! We’re Number Two!” Bob and I looked at each other incredulously, tears welling in our eyes, and we shared a long embrace filled to the brim with pride. The school's first OFSAA Girl's Basketball medal AND my highest placing OFSAA medal in basketball.

I can still hear their favourite song, “Ooooh ooooh ... Sometimes … I get a feeling …”

We all need something to laugh at!

I recently dug out the ol' six-string and see what I could remember after almost 35 years. Sadly, the strings were rotten and that was that. It got me thinking about the old days when I used to enjoy a pint or three during a JAM sesh on the deck in university. I could see if Amazon has some I can get as I don't imagine good ol' Music Pro downtown has been deemed an essential service. Better still, I could get a hold of fellow Georgian coach, Josh "J-Mo" Morgan, who also happens to be the Uber talented frontman for the group Barriers. As a testament to the friend that he is, Josh was able to help a buddy out and replaced my strings for me ... with all social distancing protocols observed ... so I could revisit those days. I will, of course, warn my neighbours before I take to my deck during this pandemic ... It'll be a while before my fingers are ready for any sustained playing.

In light of the anxiety and stress that so many are feeling right now, I thought that I would make an attempt at turning up the corners of corners of some mouths. Please don't be quoting copyright violations to me ... I'm only so intelligent and can't do this solely on my own ... because I was inspired by the Covid 19 Rhapsody and My Corona floating around Social Media. You'll be thankful that I chose to include lyrics but no audio, mostly because I can't play these songs yet.

My Many Weeks of Infection (Think 12 Days of Christmas)
On the 1st week of Covid, our government said to we,
It's NOT here in Canada,
AND we'll just wait and see.

On the 2nd week of Covid, our government said to we,
You SHOULD Social Distance,
It's BARELY here in Canada,
BUT we should wait and see.

On the 3rd week of Covid, our government said to we,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST social distance,
It's REALLY here in Canada,
NOW we have to wait and see.

On the 4th week of Covid, our government said to we,
You NEED to stay the hell at home,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST Social Distance,
It's GROWING here in Canada,
So we'll SHUT DOWN and see.

On the 5th week of Covid, our government said to we,
AMERICA IS BLOWING UP!

You NEED to stay the hell at home,
PLEASE wash your damn hands,
You MUST social distance,
It's GROWING here in Canada,
So we'll HOLD ON and see."

Thank God I'm a Cana'jun (Think Thank God I'm a Country Boy)
Well life in isolation is really kinda WHACK,
Too much for a old northern boy like me to hack,
I'm Early to rise then early in the sack,
But thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Well the retired kinda life really does me no harm,
Staying in my little home, keepin' kind warm,
Soapy hands and sanitizer are all the frickin' norm,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

When DoFo and Trudeau were elected, don't ya know,
This old northern boy thought, "Well, that really blows!",
Didn't like either of 'em and their "Dog and Pony Show",
But thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Now I gotta say somethin', I really, really should,
Through all of this, they've both been kinda good,
So I'll "eat crow" and admit they've done what they could,
So thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

Should have switched our stocks to diamonds n' jewells,
But we'll make out better than them money hungry fools,
We'll just hunker down, 'cause the long haul's the rule,
And thank God I'm Cana'jun.

Yeah, Americans are thinkin' that's a mighty keen,
Cana'juns and our health care, if ya know what I mean,
We'll ride out this virus like nobody's seen,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun!

Well I got me a great wife, I bought me some viddles,
When the sun comes up, I got the corona virus riddle,
Distancing was fine at first, but now hurts just a little,
Thank God I'm a Cana'jun.

If I was a Super Neighbour (Think If I had a Million Dollars)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo ... If I was a super neighbour)
I would buy you a bubble (Echo)
And if I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd buy you sanitizer for your hands ... Maybe Lysol and some TP
And if I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd share my Netflix ... Maybe some internet or some pie

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour ... A bunch of groceries I would share
If I was a super neighbour ... Bake some fresh bread, if I dare
If I was a super neighbour ... Somehow fill up your refrigerator
I could make cookies or some cake ...
Or some milk or some eggs or some fruit ...
Or some pre-wrapped sausages and things, hmmm

If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd visit you every day ... but at the end of the driveway
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd watch your kids play in your yard ... let you a nap during the day
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
I'd post all sorts of signs ... Hearts for nurses and doctors

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour, I would walk for you to the store
If I was a super neighbour, so you could stay quarantined for sure
If I was a super neighbour, you wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner ...
Unless you really want Kraft dinner ...
And some really cool Ketchups ...
Like super fancy Dijon Ketchup ...

And if I was a super neighbour ... I'd buy you tiiiiime

If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
If I was a super neighbour (Echo)
That'd be great!

To quote Elvis, "Thank you, thank you very much."
Please, No ovations ... it's embarrassing.

I LOVED coaching my kids!

I have always loved coaching! My earliest coaching memory was working at the YMCA, coaching basketball, when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. By the time my children came along, I was an "old hat" and, in all my arrogance, I felt that I could do a better job than most, so I chose to coach my own children in the host of activities they participated in. A lot of my colleagues are pretty quick to spout that they think coaches should let contemporaries work with your kids, but I beg to differ, and I've got hundreds of great memories to support that opinion. It wasn't always smooth, but it was always fun, and I am confident that the experiences shaped them into the great human beings that they have both have turned out to be.

I should begin by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed coaching my daughter Maddison in swimming, and I am proud to tell you that she qualified for OFSAA each year she represented Central, despite the lack of talent her father displayed at the poolside. She and her Barrie Trojan team mates were well beyond my ability to enhance their skills, but I comfort myself with the thinking that I was able to assist a little with the mental side of competition. The ironic thing about me coaching swimming is that I sink like a rock and that almost lead to me not obtaining my PHE degree at Queen's ... but that's another story for another time. I have loads of good memories from those days, but being brutally honest, rugby is my true passion and she didn't choose to play.

I had the best of both worlds in coaching and fathering my son, but the stretch from 2012 to 2016 was pretty F'n awesome, I must say, with a host of amazing memories, humorous stories, and a scare to keep me on my toes. For me it was the penultimate experience combining two of my greatest passions. Both Maddi and KP were troopers for handling their highly demanding father ... most of the time ... but when like minds work that closely, as is the case with KP and I, there's bound to be some fireworks. Both of us are pretty stubborn, believe strongly in our abilities, and are not at all shy about voicing our opinion, but we navigated the choppy waters without capsizing. He has shared with me that he would like to pay if forward some day now that he has retired from active duty, and that's something that I am extremely proud of.

I reluctantly stepped away from coaching with the ORU in 2013 quite simply because KP had decided to invest himself full on into rugby, and I felt that my involvement would create conflict of interest issues for my co-coaches. It was the provincial team, after all, but that didn't mean I stayed away because I replaced the whistle with my camera, becoming team journalist.

Here are some memories that come to mind about the things we shared during those years:

2012 Barbarian Cup (Jr Provincial HS Championships)
When Sean Anderson scored a try in the final seconds of the championship, KP had to slot a left sideline 35 m conversion to win ... which he did, prompting me to announce loudly, "Who's kids just won a provincial championship for his team?"

When we later shared a hug and I marvelled at the "ice in his veins", his bugged out and replied, "Holy sh*t! I thought we were up one!" That left us both giggling.

2012 Ontario Summer Games 7's Gold
Although relatively new to the 7-a-side game, KP secured a spot on the Toronto side competed in the Ontario Summer games held at York University in Toronto.

Continuing to bask in the sunshine of success during the spring, KP and his team mates beat the other Toronto side for the OSG Gold when team mate Riley DiNardo scored a late try to seal the win. It was a pretty cool thing to experience, one that I didn't experience when I was a player.

I'm pretty confident that this was the point he decided that rugby was it!

2013 OFSAA Gold
Central had a brilliant season and earned a spot in the final against one of the largest high school teams I had ever seen in Moira SS out of Belleville.

After brilliantly "steering the ship" as a G11 scrumhalf, we shared a kiss and hug as we basked in the glory of Gold, and like a chip off the old block, he lamented, "I should have made that kick" referring to the PK he missed in the waning moments.
Lofty goals, people, lofty goals.

2014 OFSAA Silver
A parent's worst nightmare!
Finding him after the final whistle sounded, signalling a last minute loss 7-0 to Erin, I found KP hyperventilating and looking bewildered. The conversation went like this:
KP: "Did we win?"
Me: "No, bud, we lost 7-0"
KP: "How did I play?"
Me: "Pretty damn good, but you made some weird decisions at the end."
KP: "Did we win?"
Me: "No we lost."
KP: "How did I play?"
It would be this major concussion that kept him from playing anymore that year, and would be the beginning of the end of his playing career, 3 concussions later.

2015 OFSAA Gold
Keaton and Robbie Andrews, Ron's son, were one of the best 9-10 combos that we would coach, and both took their turn being the last second hero, on home turf, in an OFSAA tournament. Robbie scored late in the semi to ensure we would fight for Gold while Keaton scored on the last play of that final to seal the program's 9th OFSAA Gold, easily topping my personal coaching memories.

2015 National Championships
As the starting scrumhalf for the RO U19 side vs the Evil Empire (again), KP's performance made me one "slap happy pappy", and would earn on him a trial with the U20 Canadian team, a step that would culminate in achieving his dream of being selected to the National team.

Unfortunately, the Canada U20's dream of the World Trophy Tournament was destroyed by the no-time-on-the-clock 55 m miracle kick off the boot of U20 USA's flyhalf Ben Cima.
CLICK HERE to see the game in its entirety.

Staving off Dementia ... hopefully

Based on opinion rather than science, my aim is to stave off the potential for dementia by continuing to dredge up some really old memories, and I thought it was time to focus on some quotable quotes and anecdotes from all of those years at Central. As an aside, I recently watched an old episode of the Nature of Things about memory and how much of what we are certain is factual is actually a mish-mash of truth and fantasy.

I am hoping that the following are more fact and less fiction.

NOTE: Since some of these might prove a trifle awkward, I will abstain from actual names, but I am sure those involved, should they read these, will be able to figure it out!

1999 Cherry Blossom Tournament - Washington, DC
Ron and I met on the picket line in the fall of 1998 and, discovering we had a mutual love in the game of rugby, he welcomed me aboard the Good Ship Central. My first major event was a a multi-hour bus ride to Washington, DC for the program's first ever Cherry Blossom tournament, which was played in the shadow of the Washington Monument on the West Mall. The Reader's Digest version was that we won the tournament despite a deluge that left the entire team mud from head to foot. One of our brighter sparks decided that washing the mud off in the Reflecting Pool, prompting the hoard of National Guard who descended on us to request that we get out ... immediately. To make matters worse, another of the bright sparks decided that the perfect response to extricating the players was a rousing rendition of O'Canada. They did let us leave but there weren't a lot of smiles.

2001 GBSSA Championship vs Innisdale ... I think
After the game ended in another win for the good guys, a certain lock confessed that he made a poor choice in his pre-game nutrition by consuming a few green apples. Apparently his digestive system was not appreciative, resulting in what he coined "Green Apple Splatters" that resulted from the exertion of an early ruck. Our 8-man, who was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, went white when he realized he had bee sticking his head beside our locks hind end during scrums.

2002 OFSAA Semi vs Saltfleet SS
After scoring a go ahead try, and realizing we needed the convert,  our captain and scrum half asked our lock who was lining up the kick, "Can you make this?" referring to the resulting kick. "Yes" was the reply, prompting an immediate retort, "You better F-N make it!" I'm glad to tell you he did and that we went on to win on home turf vs Brantford CI, securing the program's 4th OFSAA Gold.

2003 OFSAA Tournament ... I think
To have continued success over the years, our program adopted a host of additional skills and habits, designed to enhance our player's abilities. Not the least of which was a more stringent nutritional regime, designed with performance in mind, thanks partly to the efforts of Ron's sister, a registered dietician. The lads embraced the diet, enjoying the performance benefits, but they were teenagers, and they begged that the bus ride back from OFSAA (a Bronze, no less) make a pit stop for some teenagery-style food. Gleefully clutching their $25 bag of Wendy's, a feast ensued that would have left medieval courts in envy. A short time down the road, however, the glee was replaced with panic as a number of the lads implored the driver stop on the side of the road to allow many to purge the expensive poison from their systems, much to their disappointment.

2004 OFSAA Championship vs Uxbridge SS
During our run to the championship game, our scouting identified that the Uxbridge South African born flyhalf was a problem waiting to happen. Head coach Ron dreamed up a wrinkle in our defensive structure that would potentially limit the flyhalf's effectiveness, instructing our OHL hockey-playing Inside Center to take a Kong line on the FH each time. The thought of continually crunching the same player throughout the game brought a huge smile to our center's face. It was he who coined the tactic HPP, or Hockey Player Pinch. We won our 5th OFSAA championship and the Uxbridge FH looked like he had just tangled with a Mack Truck and lost.

2007 OFSAA semifinal vs Upper Canada College
We have been so blessed over the years, and 2007 was no different. We have the luxury of playing a Team Canada prop at inside center, striking fear in the hearts of the opposition backs. Despite his physical prowess, this young lad possessed a quality set of skills in his toolbox, skills that would prove to be the difference as the semifinal game would down. Our program pride's itself on being well prepared and, as such, we have a play that allows for a drop-goal attempt if 3 points are required to find the win. Down 10-9 to UCC, our prop-turned-back executed a perfect diving spin pass to our FH (who also played Team Canada, I should add), who calmly slotted the kick to earn us a berth in the final 12-10. We would go on to win our program's 6th OFSAA Gold by besting rival Uxbridge SS.

2011 OFSAA Championship vs Trenton HS
In a match between titans, the game was tight going down to the finish when a Trenton player broke through and scored what looked to be a last second win, but the touch judge behind the play held his touch flag straight out, indicating that he had witnessed foul play. After a lengthy discussion with the referee that included the referee repeatedly asking, "Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?" the whistle was blown, the try negated, and a penalty awarded to the Good Guys. A tap and kick into touch gave us our 7th OFSAA Championship. As it turned out, a Trenton player had thrown a punch into the face of our Inside Center in an act that forever made him the Central version of Helen of Troy with "a face that launched a (champion) ship".

2013 Season and the Birth of a Nick Name
Our program has benefitted from a host of unlikely heroes over the years, and some of those heroes are enshrined in program lore as codes for certain specialities in the hallowed Tech Pack, known forever throughout the ensuing generations. Although the likes of "Curtis-ball", "Conan" and "Gussi" have roots in actual names, it is the nicknames that bring the grins to the faces like "Mogul" (based on a certain scrum half's resemblance to Mowgli) or "Ali" (based on the aligator-like catching motion of a certain lock), but the one near and dear to my heart because it was a certain SH/FH's nick name, as affectionately coined by that year's co-captain, "Tron" which was short for "Fagatron".

2015 Season and the Love-Fest in Midhurst
I have already recounted the incredible experience of winning our 9th OFSAA championship, on "home" turf at Jim Hamilton Field, with both of our sons playing major roles, but the one thing that I haven't written about still brings on the emotions every time I revisit the memory. Following the victory, the trophy presentation and the medals, the hundreds of "old boys" there in support, joined arm in arm for a huge Kumasa. For those that don't know what a Kumasa is, it is the Central Rugby cheer created by the players from 1994 that is used just prior to the beginning of every game, very much our version - with all due respect - of the New Zealand Haka. Sadly, I was so caught up in the moment, I neglected to film it, and will forever have to be content with my memory of it.

Hoisting the cup!

Reminiscing about my first year with Rugby Ontario brought back a host of other memories that stuck with me all these years, thanks to that wonderful game called rugby. I have been blessed to have been gifted the opportunity to coach Team Ontario in two sports ... basketball and rugby ... and incredibly won national championships in both, something I am extremely proud of.


2010 National Rugby Champions
As I've told you in previous posts, I have been blessed with coaching a plethora of talented ONT teens and 2010 was no different. The team was led by rugby friend Tyler Leggatt and I made new friends in Scott Dunham, Heather Vesh and Ed ... Sorry Ed, I can't recall your last name. Together was assembled a team of great athletes who simply needed to learn how to work together before being successful. It was an interesting affair, that summer, as we jointly struggled to find an identity in the friendlies leading up to the trip to Nationals which, by the way, were being hosted by Rugby Alberta at the Calgary Rugby Park. Winning my first rugby National Championship segued into a most memorable post-game coaching love-fest.

Now, that was a lengthy lead up, mostly so that you had an idea of where we were at going into the nationals. Fortunately, it quickly became apparent with the first match of the tournament vs host side Alberta, that the lads had brought their A game. All of that good stuff resulted in a finals berth vs perennial favourite British Columbia ... The Evil Empire as I liked to refer to them. Don't get confused, BC earned their respect through consistently outstanding play, having forced my teams into the bridesmaid position each year I coached a nationals previously.

The game was a CRACKER! Each side took turns asking numerous questions of each other and, with time winding down, ONT was behind on the scoreboard. Lady Karma was on our side that day as our FH Mike Perelli found a seam in BC defence, scoring the winning try and securing the GOLD Medal 29-26.

While winning a National Championship was INCREDIBLE, what happened next is the stuff of Glory Days tall tales around the campfire. You see, the Calgary Rugby Club were rugby culture savants, and had the great foresight to build their stadium pitch then erect a grand clubhouse, complete with a majestic deck, overlooking the one corner of the pitch. Once we had the lads settled and changing, Ty, Scott and I decided were earned a "refreshment" for all of our hard work. Arriving on the deck, which I might add was fully licensed ... rugby culture savants, remember ... we were greeted with the glad tidings of the many parents who had made the trip west to cheer on their son. What could only be described as the 2nd biggest coaching Love-Fest I've ever been a part of, we celebrated the Gold in a most appropriate fashion.
Note: Easily the BIGgest coaching love-fest was winning the 2015 OFSAA crown on home turf.

It would come out later, that the lads also had a memorable celebration. Keeping in mind that these were 16 year olds, and the resulting absence of adult libations, a few took it upon themselves to record their shower activities with Championship Trophy strategically placed, fully supporting the notion that rugby culture is second to none.

Cue the eye rolls.

One thing leads to another ... V2.0

In the last post, I revisited a funny story from Rugby Ontario days gone past that was prompted by the re-discovery of a memento of the situation thanks to rugby friend Nick Rowe. Recounting that story made me think of another funny story that happened on that very same tour, involving a young man who played loose forward, or flanker, for us that summer.

NFLD Flora 1; RO player 0
Back on "The Rock" again, one of the other touristy things that RO treated the players to was a visit to Cape Spear, the most easterly point in Canada, or so I'm told. The cape offers its guests to 100+ foot shear cliff that drop straight to the raging surf of the Atlantic, accompanied by some of the briskest onshore winds these old eyes have felt. How brisk? My full 275 LBs were supported as I leaned near about 45 degrees into the wind. Take my word for it, it was brisk!

As a part of the visit, we took the kids on a hike inland along some of the established trails they have built through the marshy areas around the cape. While it was a pleasant walk, the memory was established when one of our loose forwards spied a "pond" just off the trail and decided to make a mad dash left for a quick dip.

Now, if you're not a rugby person, I feel compelled to admit that there are loose forwards that are intelligent ... Richie McCaw or Jake Boulding types ;) ... and some are wired to simply seek and destroy, with not a lot of forethought.

Well, this particular young man fits the second category, so off go the shorts, off comes the shirt, full out sprint to the "pond" as I am screaming, "NOOOOOOOO!" because I had a pretty good idea that one did not want to voluntarily partake in those particular ponds.

If you can picture the famous cliff divers or Mexico, that would give you a sense of the quality dive that was executed, but the unfortunate thing was our silly city boy failed to comprehend that the reality of a lake ... on a cape ... in NFLD ... not happening. My exasperation quickly turned to relief when he resurfaced, spitting chunks of fresh BOG, covered from head to foot in goo, resembling the Swamp Thing from my childhood comics. And the STENCH! Even all those years later I can still recall it. The worst of it was the bus ride back to the hotel, since no one offered to loan him a change of clothes.

One thing leads to another

Social Isolation SUCKS! However, it does provide one some time to perform the dreary duties that need to be done, but that we generally put off. Joyce and I were doing some cleaning recently and that included deep dusting, the kind that you can't just do with your dirty sock on the way to the shower ... does that give too much information?

The first thing you should know is that my mother collects nick knacks. Many of those are cute little signs that are intended to create a wry grin on the reader's face. One of them is, "Dull people have immaculate houses."

I tell you this because, while I help out with the weekly cleaning chores in our house, I usually defer to procrastination when it comes to deep cleaning ... I guess I'm more of a surface cleaning type of guy? Despite that, if you have ever been to our house, you would likely have noted how spic 'n span it was. I'm Type A but Joyce is Type A+, especially when it comes to our home. Now, before she whacks me upside my noggin when she reads this, I am irrefutably, definitively, unequivocally not insinuating that she is in any way, shape or form, dull ... I know better than that. This particular deep cleanse led me to dredge up a funny memory from my time on tour to Newfoundland with Rugby Ontario.

A trip down Memory Lane ...

Were you to be invited to our bedroom ... scratch that for not sounding right ... were you to saunter past our bedroom door, you might notice a semaphore flag hanging covertly from the book case in the far corner. I can almost hear your internal query, "Why does P have a semaphore flag? What's the story?" According to good ol' Wikipedia, the semaphore flag Zulu, pictured here, means, "In the system of international maritime signal flags, part of the International Code of Signals, the Z flag stands for the letter Z ("Zulu" in the NATO Alphabet) when used in letter-by-letter alphabetic communication. When used alone, it means "I require a tug" or, when used by fishing vessels near fishing grounds, "I am shooting nets". It is the initial meaning of Zulu that lead it's presence in our bedroom.

First the back story ...

I coached a lot of sports in the early stages of my teaching career (already documented in other posts CLICK HERE), and that eventually lead to my "hire" by Rugby Ontario, in 2007. I say "hire" because I didn't really make money, but I also didn't pay anything, so I was pretty quick to ink my signature if it meant that I could work with Ontario's finest rugby players. That first year I was appointed to the U15 boys as an assistant to the head coach Nick Rowe. Nick was a teacher at Earl Haig SS in Toronto and I rugby friend, so I was pumped to work with him. The director of Rugby Ontario back then was a distinguished rugby gentleman named Glen Tarver, a retired principal from the Toronto area, and with his guidance, Nick, Andrew Ciavaglia (I'm not sure I got that right ... it was a while ago ... sorry Andrew) and I selected what would amount to be on of the most talented groups of players RO had amassed. The roster included players that would go on to represent Ontario, Canada and professional rugby sides during their career ... many of which are still playing ... like Taylor Paris, Andrew Ferguson, Jon West, Cam Stones, Eric Salvaggi, Rob Finch, Jesse Twigg and a host of others I will insult by neglecting to name ... my apologies lads.

Now the story ...
At the time, the highlight of the U15 summer season was a tour to Newfoundland, with a couple of "friendlies" to be played against the NFLD U16 team ... or so we thought ... but more on that later. The long and short of it is that following a rousing battle hosted by Swiller's RFC, the main pitch in St John's, we took the lads on a walking tour of the city, complete with the Haunted Hike of the downtown area. On the walk, we took in the grandeur of St John's harbour and the large assortment of ships docked there. We happened upon a large billboard that contained the many semaphore flags and their meanings. Being the first upon said billboard, my juvenile, testosterone-soaked mind immediately took note of Zulu and it's posted meaning "I require a tug". Upon pointing this out to Nick and Andrew, the resulting giggling fit left us breathless and rosy cheeked. For the remainder of the tour, the pantomimed action of semaphore signalling prompted the same bout of laughter, leaving our young lads looking like they just witnessed the most perplexing thing their eyes had ever seen. It was the ultimate tour inside joke!

After returning home, I regaled Joyce with the highlights of the tour but, for whatever reason, it did not occur to me to tell her about the inside joke. About 3 weeks after the tour, Joyce found a notice in the mailbox from Canada Post that we had a package. She retrieved it, was completely stumped by its contents, and met me at the door on my return home. "Nick Rowe sent you a flag ... is there something going on?" After my initial panic of something I had done wrong ... husbands, you feel me right? ... I shared the story with her and we shared quite the chuckle. Not to be out done, later that evening I snuck ol' Zulu up to the bedroom and laid it out on her pillow before she came to bed that night. I'll leave it to your imagination on whether Zulu's message was received or not, but I will tell you that the flag eventually earned it's honoured location on the bedroom book case.

EDITOR'S NOTE
The story about the friendlies with NFLD: This being my first Rugby Ontario tour, I was not astutely aware of the relationship between RO and the Newfs, and I naively remarked to Nick, as the home players we would face in the first friendly at Swiller's meandered in, "How does a kid on the U16 team walked hand in hand with his kids?" The bearded hulks that slowly occupied the home bench left me with extreme anxiety for the safety of our players. Nick's shrugged response did little to quell those fears and, following a spirited affair that was closer than the hosts would have like, I was introduced to the pet name that the Newfs had for us, when we joined them at the post-game meal in the Swiller's club house ... We were referred to as BIFFO's or Big Ignorant F*#@$s From Ontario ... how wonderful. I will tell you that the second friendly test held in Conception Bay, a suburb of St John's, was a lopsided win for our lads as they bested the real NFLD U16 team.