It's been 13 years ...

September 15th will forever be a date that prompts a pause to reflect on how my life changed. Back in 2006, my family forever changed when that dirty bastard Cancer stole my father from us and, despite the fact that my family are continuing to deal with that loss, there's not a day that goes by that a stray thought, reflection or longing doesn't sweep across my consciousness. He had a massive influence on the person I am today ... that's an obvious one ... and there's no greater compliment than when someone says, "You're just like your old man." We may have chosen different career paths but I truly feel that his characteristics of selflessness, dedication, sacrifice, empathy, compassion were his gift to me through both Nature and Nurture. As I approach the twilight of my educational career, I can clearly see how our lives are more closely linked than I have ever acknowledged.

My father was born Terence Lorne Porter in the small town of Amherst, NS, back in 1937 and it is my firm belief that his East Coast heritage played a large role in shaping the man he would become, despite moving to Ontario as a teenager. Many of those who will read this knew that he chose medicine as a career, specializing in Orthopedics, following a brilliant high school experience at East York Collegiate ... The place that he met my mother Andrea. Choosing to head east to Kingston for Queen's University's Med School and Football program took this passionate, driven man and immersed him in a culture of brotherhood and tradition ... perfect! Being attached to Queen's would forever influence who he would become.

What you may not know is that my dad was so selfless that during those years, my brothers and I grew up with an often empty seat at the dinner table. I can personally recall my early days where he was out of the house before I was up and not home before I went to bed. Before you go getting all sad about that, let me tell you that while I would have loved to see him more often, it made the occasions we did share time all that more special. One thing my parents always did was make sure that there were times we would spend together as a family. Of course, as I grew older and my days grew longer, I got to have some brief moments in a more regular pattern and that maturity allowed me to better comprehend that those absences meant that someone else's family was reaping the benefits. My dad was the only Orthopod in Barrie for a very long time which meant that all of the broken bodies that showed up at Royal Victoria Hospital were under his care ... and there were a lot! I have very clear memories of him arriving home, exhausted from surgery all day, but doing his best to be there for us boys, before eventually seeking the respite of the living room couch, John Denver quietly crooning through the headphones.

One drawback of saving humanity was that dad struggled to make my games, be them club or elementary or high school. Oh, please understand, I now know how much it must have hurt him, after having to make choices with my own children. He would have been there if he could but that selflessness was forever the driving factor and I'm confident that he knew that I would understand. As the high school years rolled past and the Queen's experience proceeded, things were changing and more Orthopods were choosing Barrie. That meant that both my parents were able to be part of the rowdy crowd in the stands at my games. One memory that is Uber clear was playing at Bishop's University in Lennoxville, QB, and I was having a really good game. On one break in the game, I was on the sideline because the Defence was out doing their thing and I glanced into the frenetic home crowd only to lock eyes with the beaming face of my father. His grin was a wide as a Cheshire Cat and I could feel the pride from a 100 yards away. I was surprised by both of my parents, decked out in their Queen's colours, cheering the Gaels on. One of dad's Orthopod friends was a pilot and had flown them down for the game. I played football because I really enjoyed it but do not underestimate the power of my indoctrination into Queen's lore ... If I could have fun AND make him proud, that was FANTASTIC! Cha Gheil!

Following my playing days, and as my dad's medical career slowed down a bit, I was blessed to have him be a wonderful Papa to my children and, through that, continue that father-son education of how to live a great life. He was also able to make some of my early coaching escapades and then transition into Papa mode as Maddi and Keaton started their athletic careers in soccer and basketball. As I write this, I feel a pang of sadness as I realize that in 2006, Maddi was 10 and KP was 7 ... My dad missed so much of the awesomeness that was to come as Maddi blossomed in her swimming, ultimately competing in the CIS followed by Keaton finally settling on Rugby after so many early ventures in a variety of sports, then reaching his goal of representing Canada. It makes my eyes well with tears to realize that incredible look of pride that he shared with me from the stands at Bishop's would not be gifted to my kids as they reached for their dreams. You know what? It just dawned on me that he did give them that look ... Through me. He taught me how to do it and I passed it on to them. Incredible! 56 years old and still learning.  If the day ever comes that my children bless Joyce and I with gran-babies, the circle will feel complete and I'll be Papa having a blast teaching my own kids how to pass that look on. I can't wait!

That brings me back to the beginning, like the Circle of Life so often does, where I pause today to remember my dad and all the fantastic things that are because he was in my life. I don't think you ever get over losing someone so important to you but, as the years pass, you do (or at least I do) tend to recall the positive far more often that the negative. I raise a glass of single malt, heavy on the peat, to a great man, a wonderful doctor and an awesome father. I love you dad, always and forever!