Joyce and I first got to know one another
in Kingston while I was still an undergrad at Queen’s U. We worked together at a
local waterfront establishment called Pumpers, a part of the old Firehall
restaurant. We were good friends long before the spark of romance … likely the
reason that we enjoy each other’s company so much now. The point of all of this
is that she was well aware of the place that athletics held in my psyche. As
our relationship grew, she had a front row seat for my growing coaching
passions and, true to her nature, she supported them fully.
In my first post, I talked about starting
my coaching career at LCVI in Kingston. I made a lot of mistakes back then … I
know that now, after so many years … but I felt strongly that even an
inexperienced coach can give kids a chance at the benefits of athletics,
something that was certainly a large part of the person I have become. I also
wrote that I was handed over the reins to many of the intermediate teams at
Maple Grove PS in my first year of teaching. I REALLY enjoyed coaching, but it helped
that I had some really great kids who were also amazing athletes! They would go
on to do some pretty awesome things later on in their careers … more on them
later … this post is about Joyce. We were newly married, no kids yet, and she
supported the early departures / late returns, listening intently to the
stories of Johnny or Suzie doing this or that. As the years rolled on, our 1st
born Maddison arrived and our lives changed immensely, so it made perfect sense
to my testosterone-soaked brain to become MORE involved. I added club
basketball to the list of minute-stealers. Of course, she was okay with all of
it, as long as I was home to help get the kids … by now Keaton had arrived …
fed, bathed and in bed before heading out again. Sounds crazy now, writing
about it these many years later. During those toddler years I also decided to
use some of the summer months to get involved with Basketball Ontario’s Junior
Development Program which meant stretches of 5 or 6 nights away from home.
Super Mom handled it the same way she always did … all smiles and hugs. Who
needs to Lottery when you marry that well?
If you’re still reading this and I taught / coached you after Y2K happened, you are acutely aware that the minute-stealers grew, and Super Mom continued to flex her support muscles. While I thoroughly enjoyed my elementary experiences … I haven’t even talked about them yet … I arrived at a mindset that I needed to make the change to the secondary system where I could get access to older athletes and more structured competition. Getting hired at my old high school, Barrie Central, was a dream come true! All of the fantastic-ness of the red-black-white of my youth could now become a part of my “pay if forward” mentality. Of course I’ll coach all three seasons! Of course I’ll join the GBSSA executive! Of course I’ll ask Joyce to share even more! As I sit here with my laptop in its place, reminiscing about those days, I shake my head at how we both balanced it all.
By the early days of high school, both
Maddi and KP were interested in sports and our family was going “seven ways to
Sunday” with all of the things we were willing to agree to. How we were able to
organize ourselves to fit it all into 24 hours still makes my head spin. Yet
again, Super Mom held the family together by telling me to make choices that
would allow it all to happen because she knew full well that I need reminding
that being a dad to my own kids was just as important as being dad to my school
kids.
As the high school years rolled on, Maddi
and KP became more focused on the sports that they really wished to invest time
in and organizing our family meant that I had to choose to coach teams that one
of my kids was involved in … NOT COACH LESS, just use the minutes as a dad.
Since Maddi chose swimming and I really didn’t float, KP got the lion’s share
of my time … You’ll have to ask him if that was a good thing … I think I know
the answer but better safe than sorry. It was during this time that Basketball
Ontario recruited me to become involved with Team Ontario which led to being
involved with Basketball Canada’s grassroots as well. If that’s not enough, my
involvement with GBSSA grew into involvement with OFSAA and its executive
council. During it all, Super Mom organized our family, held it together on the
home front, and even saved some love for me after dealing with our kids all
day. Despite all of this, she became a sports lover, sitting on the sidelines
with a HUGE grin and cheering her kids as they learned the harsh life lessons
associated with competition. With both of them excelling, that meant travel to
meets / tournaments, hotels, packing meals and managing logistics … all, of
course, done with flawless efficiency.
So, with all of this, you’d think that I’d
choose to take a few things off my plate, to make things easier for Joyce with
managing our home. If you know me at all, you already know that answer … NOT …
sort of. I did choose to take some things off my plate, but I convinced her
that I could make some extra cash by getting hired to coach the Men’s
Basketball program at Georgian College. I stepped away from OFSAA and traded it
for something that took up twice the volume of time. Super Mom was there, all
smiles, but she did insist that I had to include KP in it so that she could
handle things at home and in the pool. Really? That’s it? I can’t wait to sign
up! To sweeten the deal, I chose to trade summer basketball for summer rugby
when Rugby Ontario came calling and KP could continue to trail along, becoming
an unofficial mascot for all of those teams before getting old enough to make
Team Ontario on his own … more on that later.
As both of our children outlived their
elementary experience, the choice on where to attend high school was pretty
much the same as my choice of university. For those reading that don’t know, my
father was a Hall of Fame football player for Queen’s in the early 60’s and I
was indoctrinated early. He would always joke, “You can go anywhere you want
for university … but I’m only paying for Queen’s!” Maddi and KP got the same
treatment with their high school so, of course, they chose to attend Central.
I’d really like you all to believe this was a part of some master plan to take
some pressure off my darling wife. If both kids and husband were at the same
school then that would make logistics so much easier, right? Oh, you silly
reader … that wasn’t it at all! I wanted them to go to Central because it was
the best high school in Barrie! The rest of that was a fringe benefit! Whatever the intention,
the end result was that life did get slightly … SLIGHTLY … less hectic and
Super Mom was able to still be cheerleader “Numero Uno” as the entire family
lived and breathed the red-black-white of Central. Which is not to say that
there weren’t any bumps in the road but I’m proud to say that we found
ourselves enjoying each other’s company on a more consistent basis.
Which brings our relationship to where it
is now. Both of our children are enjoying living as an adult and have their own
place to call their own. With my (Our?) decision to retire from coaching, we
can actually spend quality time together. Think of it like a training camp for
retirement! Having said that, you all know that I couldn’t go “Cold Turkey” so
I’m still a part of the Georgian Men’s Rugby Program for this fall. True to
form, Joyce supports me 100% … although I suspect just a weensy little bit of
that is so she gets some alone time. She’s never been married to a hubby to was
around a lot so why start now?
She really is the best and I love being her guy!
She really is the best and I love being her guy!
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