Education's dirty little secret

If you stop any Joe Public as they carry on about their daily lives, and ask, "What is compassion?" I am pretty confident that an over whelming percentage would be able to voice an answer that is pretty close to a standard definition. So, with that in mind, let's agree that we understand what compassion is. The much harder question that begs to be asked, "When was the last time you demonstrated compassion to a total stranger?" Hmmmm, my confidence level for a positive answer is slipping. I believe strongly that one of the innate characteristics of people who choose education as their career is a naturally high level of compassion and it is this quality that is failing my colleagues at record rates these days. Let me explain ...

Each and every school year, any teacher or education worker is given a large number of strangers to care for. Argue all you wish, I'll stick with my definition that my assigned students are strangers. In 29 years, I have very rarely taught the children of really close friends so, by that definition, my students are strangers. Having said all of that, I can also confidently proclaim that I have extended compassion to all of the 8000 or so students and athletes I have interacted with over my career.
(NOTE: That's not an exaggeration ... counting all of the teams, classes, clubs, and camps I have been involved with, the 8000 or so is accurate.)
Where the fatigue comes into play happens when you over extend that compassion to the more and more needy students that walk through our class/gym doors each and every day. When the compassion extends beyond the walls of the classroom and past the hours of school, day after day, week after week, month after month, it wears a person down, like a giant weight around the neck.

Let me say this though, I am not using this blog to point fingers at a perceived lack of parenting skills. However, that doesn't change the fact that the neediness of my students/athletes has increased steadily over the past 29 years. More students have poor sleeping habits thanks in part to technology but also crazy scheduling. More students suffer from poor nutrition not because they can't afford good food but because they are allowed, IMHO, too much say in what they will or won't eat. More students are suffering from anxiety thanks in part to the previously mentioned technology but also from a lack of exercise and socialization resulting from our "couch potato" or "cocooning" lifestyle. More students are victims (yes, victims) of failed marriages/partnerships and are silently screaming to both biological parents to pay attention to them. More students are being raised in this "everyone gets a trophy" culture and haven't been taught how to accept a NO or a failure.

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Enter a teacher, huge heart, massive compassion, and endless empathy, trying (but often failing) to find minutes, a consequence of ridiculous curriculum demands, to nurture every child and meet all their needs academically, socially, emotionally, psychologically. When the worry extends beyond the classroom walls and the school day, and there's a traumatic event in the personal life, that's when compassion fatigue sets in. Just so we're clear, Political action can be seen as a traumatic event.

Well then, the obvious question is what do you do about it? Solving the children's problems is nigh unto impossible so each teacher needs to find a personal solution. Should we try to care less? Likely not going to happen ... hardwired into our character. Should we look for more supports? Again, likely not going to happen as educational costs are being reeled in. Should we take better care of ourselves, and in doing so, reduce the effects of CF? Now that's a plan! Any sentient adult knows how to do this ... eat better, sleep more, exercise more, find time to unwind, etc. When you're in the throws of your own busy family life, that's a tall order, but the consequences of not trying will be dire and that's not going to help anyone.

I'll let you in on a little secret ... You want to help a teacher friend that you might have? Ring them up, ask to meet for a bevy, ask them to tell you about their classes, REALLY listen, and then - most important - tell them you understand, you think they're doing a great job, you're there to talk anytime. Trust me! I've been in these conversations and they really, really help "charge the batteries". Never, ever underestimate the power of compassion to help someone in need.

In the end, if we don't support teacher's efforts to educate our children, we will all pay the price ... collectively. Ask yourself this ... "Do I really want the best the Education System has for my child? Or, am I okay with satisfactory?" It does't cost much to listen, just time and the price of a beverage. Count me in!