"He ain't heavy ... He's my brother!"

As a long overdue occasion, I recently invited 2 of my brothers to share a meal with me. In case you don't know, there are 4 brothers in my family but our youngest one lives in BC, so it would have been an expensive commute. There wasn't anything wrong, no family emergency, no illness, only my desire to reacquaint ourselves, something that we haven't been good at doing in recent years.

Many of you may not know that my parents are saints ... not the religious type but the "Oh my Lord" type ... because they raised 4 very different sons, something that my mother wears like a badge of honour. The "Four Warts", as my father so affectionately coined us, were a challenging set of personalities to manage as we navigated the trials and tribulations of growing up. We were what many would call a prototypical set of siblings, so much so that my mother actually introduced us all to a book called "The Birth Order Book", by a psychologist Dr Kevin Leman, that accurately outlined that each son's differences were a part of some galactic plan based on the order we arrived. Was it astrological hobnob like horoscopes? Or was there some truth? Or, more likely, a little of both? It was still an intriguing read, either way.

The First Born: Over half of Presidents and Prime Ministers were firstborns. Clearly, firstborns are natural leaders. They also tend to be reliable, conscientious and perfectionists who don’t like surprises. Although, firstborns are typically aggressive, many are also compliant people pleasers. They are model children who have a strong need for approval from anyone in charge.
I'm the first born boy which means I am the one that was the focus of all the Dr Spock stuff, molding me into the role of the rule follower, the pleaser, the perfectionist. As a direct result of that, I emulated my father and his athletic prowess, focusing a lot of time and energy in the hopes that I could live up to the surname, matching my father's high school successes by winning athlete of the year upon graduation then following in his footsteps to play football at Queen's U. As I look back on my life, I can see that what I thought were choices were really influences ... I unconsciously tried to match my father's athletic success while, at the same time, my mother's teaching successes. Let me be clear, that is NOT a complaint! I am very content with how my life has played out and I DO NOT for a second regret the choices I've made. I chose teaching, or rather it chose me, after I discovered I didn't have the academic discipline to pursue medicine, using coaching as my community service to align with the family ideals that dad demonstrated through Rotary International.

The Middle Born: They are guaranteed to be opposite of their older sibling, but that difference can manifest in a variety of ways. Middle children often feel like their older brother gets all the glory and because the middle child feels that the world pays him less attention, he tends to be secretive; he does not openly share his thoughts or feelings.
As previously stated, according to Dr Leman my brothers had no choice to to be the way they are, based on the order they arrived. Accordingly, my next younger brother avoided competing with me in athletics (although he was still above average) and embraced education, more specifically technology, when he developed a fascination with computers early in life, resulting in a very successful career path of owning his own business first as an Apple reseller then as an Apple Warrantee Specialist. Much as I hate to admit it, he has always displayed the greatest intellect of all 4 boys, quick with a quip, a factoid, or an informed opinion. "Every family needs a Geek." he says, and he embraces that role ... and I'm eternally grateful to him for keeping my own family's tech working the way it's supposed to. He also inherited our parent's sense of duty following our father into Rotary International, serving on both Barrie's executive and provincial executive. Not one to sit on his laurels, he has also embraced 3-D printing technology and has a busy sci-fi replica business. He really is quite an amazing dude.

The Middle Born Ver2: There are exceptions to every rule and if there is a second middle child, they will still tend to be opposite of their older sibling, but that difference can manifest in a variety of ways. 2nd middle children often feel like their older brothers are too difficult to compete with so they carve out a niche for themselves that is uniquely theirs. 
The 3rd brother in the sequence didn't want to compete with number 2 academically, and with 6 years between us, didn't have to worry about competing with me in athletics since we didn't even attend high school at the same time. Oh, understand me, there were LARGE expectations placed on him by the coaches at our high school! "So you're Doc's kid and Porter's little brother?" they'd comment with one eyebrow raised. My brother was an outstanding high school football and rugby player, though he did play other sports too, and was blessed with a razor sharp mind that supplied those around him with a never-ending series of hilarious one-liners. Accompanying this, he embraced the Rebel role that Dr Leman accurately predicted, and pawned it off on a Doctor diagnosed "fold" in his brain. All kidding aside, he is one of the most generous, "salt of the earth" individuals I know, maintaining a core of very loyal friends since his high school days. He is a shining tribute of what it means to be a father to his two sons.

The Last Born: Babies of the family are social and outgoing, they are the most financially irresponsible of all birth orders. They just want to have a good time. Knowing that these kids love the limelight, last borns may be charming, they also have the potential to be manipulative, spoiled or babied to the point of helplessness.
That leaves the 'Baby", my youngest brother, who is 8 years younger than me and, as a result, didn't have to compete with me in most things. He did go to school with his closer-aged bothers so he avoided the activities that number 2 excelled at, avoided competing with number 3's field success by embracing court sports like volleyball and basketball, and became the 2nd person in our family to win athlete of the year, at the same high school, none the less. Interestingly enough, while brothers #1 and #2 were more science-minded, #3 was more trades-minded, #4 was more art-minded and leaned towards English studies, gifted with the widest vocabulary of the sons. Staying with Dr Leman's predictions, he embraced the, "I'm the baby ... Gotta luv me!" mentality and is the only one us with a nickname ... isn't that right, Uncle Buddy? Having said all of that, he is generous to a fault, loyal beyond doubt, and has an amazing sense of humour. 

The last few years have been challenging. We spent a lot of time together as a family growing up (we had a pool and were quite popular as a result) and, following some post-school escapades, all settled back in our home town with our new families and regularly got together at our family home on Sunnidale Road. As life would have it, things slowly changed over the years, what with our father passing in 2006, and our mother finally relinquishing the old homestead in 2017, downsizing to a condo. Wart #2 has been hosting the special occasion dinners but we really haven't spent very much time together, just the brothers, talking and sharing. Retirement planning has been a reminder that we are all well into middle age and I think we should work a little harder to stay connected ... hence, the dinner invitation. I am please to report that we most thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, in addition to some pretty tasty wings, and have decided to start a new family tradition. As Tim Burtch, our cousin by marriage, says so often, "Life is GOOD!"